Paperback Writer - Sharing My Writing On Other Sites

It's been a while since I shared some of my writing from other sites and publications...So I hope that something hear interests you, teaches you something, or even inspires you to try something new.  

Today for my full-time job I write and ghostwrite articles for online publications, organizations and blogs, in addition to providing public relations services.  While I can't really share my ghostwritten articles on this platform, cause then I wouldn't really be a ghostwriter would I, I can share some of the other stuff I have been working on.  

Click on the links for the topics that interest you most, and if you enjoy what I wrote please share, like, and follow, and keep parenting and reading on!  If you have any ideas for a story, a playground review, or article on any front, feel free to shout it out!  I'm always looking for new sources of inspiration!

Future Female Magazine

Check out my article on my one week digital detox (on page 40) and my article on talking to our children about mental health (on page 36)

Entertainment

Locations Behind The Scenes - Stranger Things 

Parenting Hacks

20 Baby Products That Can Also Double As Mom Products

20 Ways These Moms Saved Money In The First Year After Baby 

20 Ways These Moms Kept It Together The First Year After Baby

 

Pregnancy 

The Real Meaning Behind These 10 Questions Doctors Ask Pregnant Women 

Pregnant After 31 - Why Things Are Different 

Nature & Travel

24 Images of Florida Swap Gators That Make Us Shudder

Things Nobody Can Explain About The Grand Canyon

Temple Of The Dog - 12 Ways My Dog Is A Jerk (Just Like My Kids)

It's been almost five months since our puppy entered our lives, and for the most part it's been amazing.  Ted, Farmer Ted, Ted Theodore Logan Esquire, has fit in quite well, and the kids love him (but more on that in another post). He's still a puppy and he gets into mischief.  He has an expressive face that shows you what he's feeling about just about everything.  Chris and I both imagine him (and pretend) he's talking back to us in the voice of Shorsey from Letterkenny on a regular basis. He has quite a smart mouth!

While having a dog is by no means the same as having kids, I am certainly appreciative and marvel at the similar ways that all of the little creatures in my family are complete jerks, whether it's putting us in awkward situations, destroying stuff, or causing general mayhem (another good dog name).

Here Are 12 Ways That My Dog Is A Jerk (Just Like My Kids)

They Can't Wait To Jump On & Wrestle Anyone Holding A Hot Beverage

They Are Uncomfortably Affectionate With Strangers

They Steal My Spot On The Couch Whenever I Get Up

They Have To Pee At The Worst Possible Times

They Can't Stay Off Of Other People's Lawns No Matter How Often They're Reminded

They Love To Stop And Stare While Strangers Have Confrontations (Sometimes They'll Bark Or Ask Really Loud Questions)

They Have No Respect For Mittens, Gloves, & Shoes & Must Destroy Them All

They Try To Steal Food Off Of Your Plate Whenever You're Not Looking

They Are Determined to Bounce Our Living Room Couch Until All Of The Springs Jump Out The Back

They Are Masters Of Pushing All Of The Limits

They Have An Unparalleled Fascination With Their Own Pee & Poop

They Think It's Fun (and Funny) to Lick Your Face

Welcome to our family Ted.  Clearly you fit in and are at ease with this band of trouble-makers.

Loser - Making Kids Accountable For Their Own Stuff!

As people we get pigeonholed as to who we are.  This starts from when we're kids.  Since kindergarten Molly has lost all of her stuff: water bottles, lunch boxes, Tupperware, spoons, mittens, gloves, boots, shoes, you name it.  For a while there wasn't a week that went by that we weren't visiting every single lost and found within a 10KM radius from our home because Molly had misplaced things.

After replacing her metal spoons and forks with plastic ones (that we reused, but I'm a little less furious about losing) and instances where allowance has gone to buying a new water bottle, library books, pair of mittens or hats - she's gotten a lot better.

via Crowdfind

Since he was really little Jack has been really good at keeping track of his stuff.  His clothes don't usually get lost, they get worn out - except for that pair of snow pants he hated and hid.  That is until this year.  It seems since Jack turned seven his ability to keep track of just about anything has gone away.  We have bought 10, no I'm not exaggerating, 10 pairs of gloves and mittens for the boy this year, he got two hats for Christmas (one is currently missing).  While I have threatened to reinstate mitt clips to his gloves (which he insists are for babies), I distinctly recall having this same argument with my own mom as a kid (only we used to call them idiot mittens in the 1980's).  When I looked in the lost and found at before and after care today I saw dozens of items, some were Jack's, so apparently it isn't just him.

I am at a loss for what to do....so I did what any modern parent does.  Search the internet for ideas on getting your children to be accountable for their own stuff, cause clearly huffing and puffing and threatening to burn his house down is doing nothing.  Here's what I found:

- Create a daily checklist for them and attach it to their backpack/make a checking routine

- Go with them to lost and found to retrieve lost items

- Don't rush to buy new things (this one is harder when it's cold outside)

- Ask them what they think would help them avoid losing things and provide it 

- Explain how much things cost in terms they'll understand

- Make them replace lost items with their own money (perhaps this will hit home further if Molly is permitted to buy the toy she's saving up for at the same time?)

- Write their names on their belongings (admittedly I am the worst for doing this) 

- Have them pack and unpack their backpacks to help them learn where stuff is and goes (we're going to start doing this next week, they already unpack)

- Reward them and compliment them when they do remember if they're struggling

-Have a 'home for everything' we have a glove and hat bin by the front door, but most stuff doesn't get lost here

Here's hoping this is the last time (this winter anyway) that we're purchasing gloves...although it does help that he's lost so many, we are purchasing the same kind to pair up singles.....Silver Linings.

Things my Kids Say As Posted on Twitter

  

via Gyfy Cat

1. When your daughter asks you if you’re really Voldemort #winning #parenting #HarryPotter #ThingsKidsSay

2. J (talking to the TV), Sighs: We know who #Shakespeare is, he's that guy who died.  M: Shakespeare wrote the #poem of Gnomeo & Juliet #ThingsKidsSay #parenting

via Inverse

3. J: in the fight between #Godzilla & the giant marshmallow man, Godzilla won, but then he got a sugar disease so he should have shared with Mothra and the other monsters #parenting #thingskidssay

4. J: mom the dog ate your Laptop cord. Me: did you try to stop him? J: no I was busy watching tv  (this is the sound of my head exploding) #parenting

5. M: is Drake famous beyond Toronto? Me: yes. Super famous M: Wow. I bet he is rich too. He must have like $1025 in his bank. Me: at least. #ThingsKidsSay #parenting

via Nerd Fitness Rebellion

6. J: so if you get a computer virus does it throw up all over your keyboard? #computers #kids #ThingsKidsSay #parenting

7. J: Do you think turtles look so grumpy all the time because they're slow?  It would make me grouchy.  I'd much rather be a stingray cause they're always smiling #thingskidssay #parenting

To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug 

Those Moments - When Spiderman Goes Wrong

We've been fortunate enough to avoid the hospital with the kids so far.   (This pause is me knocking on all of the wood).  There used to be a part of Jerry Seinfeld's comedy routine where he talked about the warning label on Superman Costumes instructing children that just because they were dressed up as Superman, it didn't mean that they could fly.  I believe he made fun of these children who were daft enough to believe that a polyester costume would give them the power of flight.  Clearly this routine was before he had children of his own.  I recall finding it hilarious, until this Christmas.

Back around Halloween, I managed to get my hands on a fantastic Spider-man Costume, gently used for only ten bucks.  I was thrilled.  Spider-man is currently Jack's all-time favourite super hero, so it was absolutely perfect and on Christmas morning he instantly put on his costume and started to pretend to be our own friendly neighbourhood Spider-man.

Spider-Man (In all his glory)

After the stockings, breakfast, and other presents, the kids went off to enjoy their new toys, while we entertained some guests and got ready for our annual tradition of Christmas bowling.  During some cheese, crackers, and grapes we heard a tremendous crash from upstairs and what slowly evolved into hysterical tears.

You see, Spider-man thought it would be an excellent idea to use his acrobatic prowess to open up the baby gate (which is meant to keep the dog out of the upstairs so he won't eat Lego and such) and swing from it with his nearly 50lbs of weight.  Clearly the gate couldn't hold Spider-man and both ended up flying down a flight of stairs, but his Spider senses couldn't predict this - despite mom and dad telling him literally dozens of times not to hang off of the gate because it was dangerous.

There were tears.  There was a tooth that went through the inside of his cheek (but not all the way through), there was a fat lip coming, and there was A LOT OF BLOOD.  He was scared.  We were terrified. He asked me if his heart was still beating.  We thought he'd clearly learned his lesson.  He was lucky nothing is broken and that we didn't spend Christmas at the hospital with broken bones or worse.

While others went out bowling, I spent the afternoon with young Jack.  We iced his lip, we read comic books, we watched videos, and we cuddled.  Soon he pulled out a sort of loose baby tooth that had become VERY loose in the fall.  He was excited that the tooth fairy was coming - and on Christmas none the less!  Later that day he declared that this was, "THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER".

This is not the lesson we wanted learned - and this is clearly why there is a warning on Super Hero Costumes - sorry Jerry, it's clearly my kid's fault!