Father's Day In Photos

I am not really one for romantic or grand public gestures on social media or otherwise.  Neither is my husband, Chris, in fact it's become somewhat a point of pride for him that he has never (ever)  given me a card in the 15 plus years we've known each other. He writes songs and the most prominent one he's written about me involves me stepping on a nail at a construction site.

As I spend another Father's Day with him, one thing is really apparent. He's always been a super involved dad who cares a lot about his kids. So I'm going to celebrate him publicly.  Fatherhood is being there for your kids, being kind, and being patient.

Life with twins, particularly in the early days, is exhausting and busy.  Today we can sit back and enjoy some time with our kids one on one that isn't a way to stave the other one off from a meltdown (like we did in the not so good ol' colic days).

Happy Father's Day to all the awesome dads I know.  Happy Father's Day to all the dads, step-dads, uncles, grandfathers, brothers, mentors, dads who can't be with their families on Father's Day, dads who are no longer there, and friends who make the cut as honorary family members.  And a special thanks to all the dads and moms who are single parents and do it all!

Can Bad Behaviour at Raptors NBA Final Become a Teachable Parenting Moment?

When I heard about Raptors fans cheering when they realized Kevin Durant was injured during game five I shuddered.  Yes, I also heard that people cheered KD for him as he limped away, but that doesn't change people cheering when someone got hurt.  As a frequent score checker during the series (often while binge watching The Handmaid's Tale), I am aware of the highlights (and in this case low lights) of what's going on.  We tend to be more of a hockey and baseball family, but are obviously excited about the prospect of a home town win.

During skating lessons last winter, I noticed a prominent sign posted at the side of the rink.  You know the one I'm talking about.  The one that serves as a reminder to both parents and coaches that these are kids, this is supposed to be fun, and to calm the f$&#k down.

via Pinterest

Since my kids rarely play team sports and tend to favour swimming or even dance, this bad parental behaviour isn't something I've had to cringe through, yet. I've heard more than enough stories from other parents, and grew up with athletic siblings, so I get what goes on.  Parents and coaches can act like every game is a life or death situation when in reality, isn't this supposed to be fun?

While professional athletes are paid well to endure being yelled at by a coach or heckled by a fan, cheering for someone who has been hurt, and potentially obtained a career ending, championship halting injury is complete and total bullshit.

So how do we go about teaching our kids about sportsmanship, even for kids like mine who are decidedly un-sportsy? Here are some ideas....

•  Point out both good and bad sportsmanship of players, coaches, and fans at sporting events (like when the crowd cheers for a former player returning home or when <ahem> Tiger Woods throws a tantrum because he doesn't play well.  Talk about it and brainstorm better solutions with your kids
• Encourage positive fandom, let them hold up signs, cheer, wear team jerseys, and chill with the mascots
• Teach them the nuances of trash talk (My kids LOVE wrestling, where you're encouraged to boo the bad guys) vs. being cheering on injuries, violent behaviour etc.
• Praise them for good sportsmanship, whether it's when playing a board game, or giving the other team high fives whether they win or lose and call your kids (and other family members out) when they behave in an unsportsmanlike way
• Lead by example in how you treat professional and recreational athletes, coaches, referees, etc.
• Call out other parents for bad behaviour and consider stepping up as a coach (whether it's in person or by writing a concerned letter to those in charge of the league)

Thoughts? Suggestions? I'm listening, and so are your kids.

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10 Things I Love About Being A Twin Mom

So many people are focused on the baby years of being a parent of multiples.  Now that Molly and Jack are seven, the baby years are well behind us, but that doesn't mean that I don't remember them very well.  Last week I wrote about 10 things I hate about being a multiple/twin mom (you can read it here), here's the other side of the coin:

10 Things I Love About Being a Parent To Twins

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They Entertain Each Other

Molly and Jack play fantastically well with each other and always have.  During my time volunteering on a recent class trip my heart swelled with pride when a teacher asked 'do they always get along this well?'

Perfect Numbers

Roller coasters, car trips, board games, and more, two pairs of people make it easy to go to a theme park or make those buy one get one free coupons really count.

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They Can Share So Many Things

Because they are the same age they're on the same level when it comes to the things they enjoy.  This means they can both get into the same bed time stories, share movies, puzzles, and even pyjamas.  They are sharing the exact same childhood experiences (but through a different set of eyes) which is truly amazing.

Limited FOMO

As a kid I remember being so jealous of all the things my sister (who is five years older than me)
could do that I wasn't allowed to. She could stay up later, play board games with the grown ups, and do cooler things.  Instead of enjoying all the awesome things she was doing I was always looking at what was next and what wasn't available to me yet.  This isn't a factor for Molly and Jack.  This spring when we went to Great Wolf Lodge both kids were able to go on all of the water slides for the first time and it was magical.

They Learned To Negotiate Early

Jealousy and sibling rivalry are rare in our house.  This is partially because there was never a time when the minions didn't have to share - whether it's attention, toys, or food. We used to alternate who got their 'pick' for movie night or a TV show, today most of the time they work it out to watch something they both enjoy together.  We don't even have to get involved.  It's awesome.

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Weird Inside Jokes

Molly and Jack came up with nicknames for each other when they want to be silly.  These names are Richard and Ucca (pronounced oooka) and whenever these alter egos make an appearance there is sure to be a giggle-filled, silly time happening.

They Have Each Others Backs

Like many siblings there is this unspoken rule that they can tease and torment each other, but other kids need to back off.  Seeing Jack act like a gorilla to block another kid who was bugging Molly or them check in on each other (and even tell an adult if they think something is up) is an amazing example of their bond.

Once Diapers Were Over, They Were Over

While I didn't enjoy changing upwards of two dozen diapers a day in the early days of parenthood, once we were done diapers we were done them for good. That is a very good thing.

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Being A Twin Is Special

Being a multiple is still a rare thing with only 3 percent of the population being twins.  Molly and Jack are proud to be twins and what that means, even if they have to share a birthday cake.

You Meet and Notice So Many Other Wonderful Multiples

Being able to see other parents of multiples with younger and older kids is awesome.  There is so much you can share with each other, even if it's just to reassure one another that you're doing a great job.  The number of adults who tell me about growing up as a twin and share their stories is amazing, they've also helped us avoid many twin parenting pitfalls!  I especially get excited when adult multiples tell me how close they remain with their sibling(s).