Words of Wisdom

Everyone thinks their kids are hilarious and probably are guilty of boring their friends and family with tales of their kids and their misadventures.  The thing is people don't find it that boring, shows like Kids say the Darndest Things wouldn't exist if people weren't watching them.

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh, a lot.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't. Below are Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said recently for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

1. Things I wrongly assumed all humans knew: a glue stick is not a good substitute for chapstick.
2. Me: Why are you punching the wall? Jack: I'm not punching it, I'm dominating it.
3. Victorious moment when u find a stash of missing toddler socks at the bottom of a toy box, but you threw out the mate 2 months ago
4. Me: There is no doubt he's ur son, he replaces song lyrics with the word cheese often, usually while eating cheese.
5. Toy #dinosaur puppet in ur bed is the #toddler equivalent of a #horsehead #TheGodfather meets #parenting

   

   Dinotastic

   
   
6. If you don't realize for 3 days that a balloon has popped, you're not allowed to cry about it when you finally do #ParentingUnfiltered
7. 90% of dressing a 4 year old boy is making sure that he doesn't look like party animal frat boy & when he does that he rocks it #parenting
8. My #MothersDay gift from the boy. Delivered with the orders "you are sharing with me"
   
   
   
9. Some days you throw on ur clothes & chase the garbage truck down the street.  That's not #motivation, it's my life #FridayFeeling
10. Nothing quite like hearing your 4 year old sing "I want to get cheddar" while he eats a burrito because he loves @bleachersmusic
11. Jack: sometimes when you're rock and rolling you need to take off your shirt and get naked #ACDC #parenting #toddlerlife
12. Me: who did you play with today? J: Cheeseburger Avery Pintz. Me: I'm pretty sure that's not a real person J: maniacal laugh maniacal laugh
13. Been in a child-filled, nightmare riddled bed for 3/4 nights. Just want to starfish in a king sized bed all by myself #parenting
14. Repeat after me: I promise not to put squishy foam glue covered modelling beads in my hair #parentingfail
    
    
15. when you accidentally steal one shoe from another kid at last week's swimming lesson #whoops #parentingfail
16. Molly: Oh Baby you, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend. New bedtime stalling technique, singing #BizMarkie & it worked
17. J: Mom can you pour some of the blue stuff in the bath so I can drink it? Me: The toilet bowl cleaner? No. J: Ahhh man #parenting
18. Me: Jack, Please don't dry your hands on the walls #parentingfail
19. Molly: Hey daddy monster I'm here to take down your destiny!  Too much #adventuretime?
20. Today's useless #parenting trivia: #JohnRitter voiced Clifford the Big Red Dog #uselessfacts
    
    
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