First Day Of School

As we've been getting ready for the return to school, I am reminded of my own first days as a kid.  I remember being excited about my new 'cool' (it was never actually cool) fall wardrobe that it was way too warm to wear on the first day, but that I'd insisted on wearing anyway and broil - ALL DAY LONG.

via Giphy

I remember feeling excited and then equally disappointed on the first day of school.  Growing pains felt extra sharp after leaving the summer cocoon of life in day camp and hanging out at home.  I also remember keeping these feelings to myself.

One of my worst first days of school (try saying that 5 times fast) happened in my last year of high school.  Instead of celebrating the end of high school alongside people I'd known since I was a grade schooler, I switched schools. The choice was something very uncharacteristic for me and it was the first time I'd ever felt so alone.  So many people knew each other and I did not.  People were politically active and passionate about everything from global warming to vegetarianism to films.  I was not. I was a fish out of water.

As people paired off together I found myself alone, feeling overwhelmed and uninformed.  I went home and cried.  A lot.  I had asked for this. I had begged my parents to let me try out this 'strange alternative school' and I couldn't just throw in the towel.

I wiped off my tears.  It became a year that I met lots of interesting people who taught me a lot, I became comfortable with myself and being alone. I read, a lot, and I pushed my limits academically in a way I never had before. I found my first writing voice.  I earned a university scholarship.  I met a lot of interesting people who were very different from me and I found a confidence in myself that I never knew existed.

One of the things I want to remind myself, and a lot of parents about, is that the easy transitions aren't always the ones that make us grow.  Tonight, on the eve following the first day of school, I have one child who is very excited about what is ahead, the other who is hesitant.  What the year brings them, none of us know yet, but if it's a tough one it will also be one where they grow and learn a lot about themselves.

Happy First Day Of School!