Covid-19 has been hard on all of us. Even as I type this I feel a need to add a hearty, 'Well duh." At the same time I know we have been lucky. Our family is safe and healthy and everyone is social distancing as best they can.
As the first day of school photos begin to roll in on social media I, like many parents, feel conflicted. We were given very little information and had to make monumental decisions about our kids education, all while weighing the mental and physical health of our kids, ourselves, and our families. At this time I know parents who have opted to move their children to smaller towns with less instances of COVID while they work from home, those who are sending them back to classrooms, parents participating in unschooling, homeschooling, and distance learning. All of us are crossing our fingers that we have made the right choices.
We have opted for distance learning for Molly and Jack this year, mostly because my kids are going to be the youngest kids in the biggest classroom sizes as grade four students in the TDSB. How I feel about our decision varies from moment to moment, day to day. Both kids did well with online learning for grade three, particularly Jack with more one on one time spent on his studies with me at his side. We have a fantastic tutor who is going to help them when needed and caring sitters who are happy to step in and supervise online learning when I have pressing deadlines, and have enrolled the kids in a part-time nature program to get them some regular outdoor interaction with other kids. We don't need to close our bubble to the grandparents which is also a huge win. As a freelancer we have flexibility. I can shift much of my hours to assist them in distance learning. Sure it means a lot more early mornings and late nights so I can meet my deadlines, but I've been doing this for six months now, why not add another few onto the pile? Time with my kids is one of the reasons I went freelance, right? I wouldn't make other parents justify their decisions so why am I rationalize my own? Mostly cause none of us know what we're doing here.
Sometimes I feel guilty that instead of growing my freelance business I am leaning into e-learning and out of business growth mode, something I was really excited about before the pandemic. At the same time there aren't as many work opportunities as there were pre-pandemic. It would be nice to have some silence in the house, whether it's to get some work done, or just enjoy a little bit of solitude. But these feel like luxuries and not necessities for us at this time. I recognize that we are so lucky to be in a position to do this. Hopefully we can pull it off with more good days than bad ones.
By nature I am a planner. I like to know what lies ahead and adjust my expectations accordingly. I am a typical Virgo and the lack of control I have felt in the past few months has been a struggle. I don't know if my kids will be in the same online class. I don't know their daily schedule, I don't know if it's going to conflict with other plans I have for work or for them. I also don't know if some of the supports, like reading group, will be available to them virtually. I don't know what hours are going to be asynchronous or synchronous and how we are going to juggle this amongst Zoom meetings, deadlines, and my husband slowly making his way back into the office.
Asking your friends and family members whether they're sending their kids back into the classroom is a landmine. Everyone feels judged at a time when we're already isolated and it sucks. In a time of mass judgement let's make this about support, not debate. I am going to like the back to school photos of your kids whether they're in front of a laptop at home or with a lunch box heading into your school. I am available for phone calls and socially distanced chats. Heck we even bought a heat lamp so we can have more visitors in our yard into the fall. Wishing you and your kids a safe back to school, where ever you are!
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