Closer to Fine

So, you hired that new babysitter and you scheduled your first night out.  How do you prepare them for dealing with your hellions and your routines without coming off as a crazy helicopter parents?  Here are my tips to ripping off that band aid and getting out there sans baby, or for those of you veteran parents here are some ways to acquaint a new sitter when your old one goes off to university, skips town or tells you that (s)he can't take it any more.

Low Stress Trial Run
I highly recommend having the first sitting session for a three hour (paid) period where you spend the first half hour or so going over routines and where things are and then using the opportunity to run errands or doing outdoor chores, or things you wouldn't normally do.  This keeps you highly accessible for the first time the sitter is dealing with your kids.*

Listography
Lists are awesome, to a point.  Keep them high level and brief.  Where you can be contacted, poison control (this should be programmed in your phone anyway), insane allergies, bedtimes and a highlight of general routines, but nothing too crazy or detailed.** 

Let Your Kids Know Who's Boss
Set the ground rules for your kids when it comes to television time, where they eat snacks and make sure your sitter (and children if they're old enough) know these rules.  Let the sitter know your policy on punishment (i.e. time out vs. corporal punishment)  For older kids, having a special treat available just for time with a sitter (i.e. popcorn as a snack, a new movie to watch or new craft activity) will make everyone's lives easier.

Don't Be Old Mother Hubbard
You are entrusting this person with your "precious" or "preciouses" so be considerate and kind.  I try to make sure that we have non-alcoholic beverages and snacks available for our sitters.  If you have a special box of cashews that you're saving for the anniversary of your Great Aunt Mary's first communion, put them somewhere else or clearly label them off limits.

Keep Calm & Carry On
Don't be a spaz and have realistic expectations.  Just because a sitter doesn't do everything exactly the way you do it, doesn't mean they are a bad sitter.  If they've had a rough shift the house may not be exactly as you left it, however if you want diapers disposed of somewhere else or dishes in the dishwasher, just remind them the next time they watch your kids.

Give them the Tools Required
Let the sitter know where the medical kit is, thermometer and whether or not you're comfortable with them giving your child advil if they are teething or whether or not you want them to connect with you first.

Let them do Their Job
I usually check in via text once during an outing to see how things are going or to let our sitter know when we're on our way home.  If they aren't answering right away, don't sweat it, they're probably just looking after your kids.  Don't linger when it's time to go out, the longer you stay, the tougher the adjustment will be for both you and your kids, trust me.***

Be Respectful of their Time
If you're going to be late, let your sitter know.  I usually give ranges of when we're expecting to be home and try to stick to them.

Know Your Deal Breakers
Some times things don't work out.  If your child isn't adjusting well to a sitter and screams the entire time you're gone after three or four sessions, maybe it's time to move on.  If your child tells you things aren't going well, talk to them, and get them involved in making things better or finding a new sitter.  If they dig into your liquor cabinet or take the front door off the hinges fire them.****


This is the fourth entry in a babysitter series:

To read a post about finding your ideal sitter or Mary Poppins click here

To read a post about where to find a babysitter click here

To read a post about interviewing a new sitter click here


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*i.e. you aren't leaving them marooned on baby island without a paddle.
**No one needs to be reading an encyclopedia when they should be watching your children.
***The last time we left the minions with our sitter A they freaked out and Molly started screaming.  While we waited for the bus I received a comforting text about Miss Molly's crocodile tears, "the crying stopped the moment you shut that front door".  Your kids will play you, it's kinda their job.
****Apparently a sitter once put us to bed at 6:30pm and then took my parents hall way door off its hinges, they still don't know why, but never asked her back.

Situation Critical

When I was about 12 or 13 I started babysitting.  At first I inherited families to sit for from my older sister, who was going out on dates at Lime Ricky's (or wherever 17 year olds went on dates in 1990).  I also secured some jobs from my next door neighbour after she moved away to go to university, friends when they were busy and referrals from families who passed my name along to their friends.  This is a great way to find a sitter, word of mouth and through current relationships.  When securing a teenage sitter it's best to go through people you know, family, neighbours and friends.  I contacted a few Canadian Babysitting training services to ask some questions about finding sitters and was tactfully told, "You don't want to be that creeper hanging out at the high school asking strangers to look after your children."*

Sometimes I think the minions should be in the zoo, unfortunately this isn't ideal child care.

 

 

Here are some other sources for finding a sitter:

 

The Social Connection

Try contacting coworkers, friends, relatives and neighbours to see if they know any good sitters.  You may want to craft an email explaining what you're looking for in a sitter (pay rate, hours and age).**  When dealing with a sitter who is a minor, go through parents as they'll likely want to talk to you about your expectations of their child and set their own ground rules being parents themselves.  When contacting friends with children, don't push if they don't want to share their sitter or ask their sitter about working for you without their blessing.  If you only have one or two sitters in a shared social group of friends, it's going to make it very hard for you all to go out together without a serious game of rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock, or some competitive arm wrestling.

 

Think of Other Connections for your Children

Ask your local daycare workers if they know anyone who sits.  Your children are already familiar with them and they might do some babysitting part-time in addition to their day jobs.  Have a favourite worker at the Early Years Centre or Summer Camp? Try asking them if they can sit for you.  You can also ask other parents at your daycare or school if they can recommend anyone.

 

Local Colleges or Universities with Teaching, Nursing & Early Childhood Education Programs

Find out if schools offer job boards to their students.  People enrolled in educational programs to take care of children as their profession would probably welcome the opportunity to gain more experience through babysitting.

 

Babysitting/Nannying Job Boards

There are various on line services where you can post to find a nanny or a sitter for your kids.  There are also emergency services where you can get connected to a qualified sitter at the last minute, but I've never tried this.   Because we were looking for people with experience dealing with young infants/twins I went this route.  You often have to pay for a subscription, but in my opinion it was worth it.***  We used Canadian Nanny.

 

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*That is not a direct quote, it's my interpretation of their response to my foot in the mouth question of, "how would parents contact your course graduates?"  The parents of teenagers probably aren't keen on strangers contacting their 14 year old about a potential "job".
**It's probably not the best idea to ask that co-worker who has a reckless teenager who they're always complaining about.
***If you are posting on a site I recommend going by email only and NEVER post your phone number.  A few eager candidates called my house, at 630AM about a job.  They were not hired.