Things My Kids Say As Shared On Twitter

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are recent Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

Image Courtesy of Giphy

1. M: What's a mime? J: Someone who doesn't talk, pretends to be in a box, and touches you - whether you like it or not. (7 year old definition of a #mime) #parenting #ThingsKidsSay

2. When you puke before taking the kids #BacktoSchool because you discover a surprise old (unidentifiable) camp snack in a backpack #parenting (no tears, just vomit) 3. Me: why are you fighting? J: she keeps touching me with her cucumber M (interrupting): by accident! #summerbreak #parenting

Image Courtesy of Tenor

4. Me: It's raining and I don't have a raincoat (grumble grumble). My daughter: It's raining which means I'm more likely to see a #rainbow today, YES!!! #parenting #perspective



5. J: Mom look, someone threw out a bunch of cotton candy! Me: Those are bags and bags of dirty diapers. J: Ew, that's disappointing. Me: Did you think I'd let you eat random garbage cotton candy? J: It was worth a shot. #parenting

Image Courtesy of Giphy

6. J: Is there a version of Romeo and Juliet, but with #robots who shoot birds? #parenting #ThingsKidsSay

7. M: What are you listening to? Me: #LeonardCohen M: He sounds like he's a ghost who is haunting me through his music. Can you turn it off? Me: No.  And I think he'd of enjoyed the idea of being a ghost haunting you through his music #parenting #musiceducation


8. M: So #pirates are half human and half what? Me: They're 100 percent human. M: You mean they don't have any super powers? Me: Nope. M: Well that's the most disappointing thing I've heard today. #parenting #ThingsKidsSay

To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug & click here, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, & here.

Sharing My Writing On Other Sites

It's that time of the month again when I share some of the writing I've been completing for other publications.

Nowadays as my full-time job I write and ghostwrite articles for online publications, organizations and blogs, in addition to providing public relations services.  While I can't really share my ghostwritten articles on this platform, cause then I wouldn't really be a ghostwriter would I, I can share some of the other stuff I have been working on.

Click on the links for the topics that interest you most, and if you enjoy what I wrote please share, like, and follow, and keep parenting and reading on!  If you have any ideas for a story, a playground review, or article on any front, feel free to shout it out!  I'm always looking for new sources of inspiration!

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Schooldays - A Note For All JK Parents

Dear Parents of JK Children or Kids entering school for the first time - This blog entry is for you.

Two years ago I optimistically approached my children's entry into Junior Kindergarten with open arms and an ear to ear grin.  They were going to meet new friends, they were going to learn awesome thing, and our daycare fees were going to diminish significantly. Everything was coming up unicorns, sparkles, and puppy dogs, until it wasn't.

In about a week a number of people I know are going to have their children entering school for the first time, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your kid is probably going to be a disaster for a little while, but that's completely normal.  Take a deep breath, by the time September is over all of this is going to be a new routine and you'll have earned a new parenting badge - Bravo!

What I learned During The First Month Of School

Jack fast asleep before dinner in the early days of JK

• Even if your child has been in daycare since they were three months old, this is not the same as school, it will take your kiddo a while to adapt.  Think about it like you're starting a new job, they're four years old and don't have nearly the number of coping skills you do as an adult.  
• Your kid might cry, freak out about drop off, and regress to some serious toddler behaviour but odds are they aren't going to be the most out of sort kid in the class...and even if they are I'm betting their teacher has seen much, much worse at one time or another.
• Contact your child's teacher when you need to about their special snowflakeness, but don't overdo it. Remember your kid's kindergarten teacher also has 29 other eager beaver parents telling them in great detail about the minutia of little Bobby's bowel movements.  Don't be that parent.
• You know how your kid hasn't napped for you in what feels like years?  Odds are they'll fall asleep at school in the first couple of weeks of class at least once. (Don't worry most teachers think it's kinda cute).
• Your potty trained child is totally going to pee their pants (put spare clothes in their backpack just in case).  Even if they don't pee their pants they'll do something ridiculous at the water table that will require a change of clothes.
• The number one way to make an enemy with your kid's teacher is to refer to kindergarten as "free daycare" - seriously some parents actually do this, which teachers naturally LOVE!
• This new adjustment is going to turn your child into a total a$$h01e most evenings for the first few weeks of school.  Don't worry, odds are they're being great for their teacher and saving it all up for you, the parent!
• Even the most beautiful bento boxed lunches will go uneaten, leaving you with a ravenous child twenty minutes after their bed time.  Good luck with that.
• Most of those cute backpacks in the shape of animals aren't big enough to store your kids stuff and they're totally going to break.  The first year of school I skimped on backpacks and we busted three per child with wear and tear and poor sizing over the school year.  Packs that are designed to meet the ergonomic needs of kids aged 4-6 (think wider instead of taller, with a front clip to keep it from sliding off their shoulders works best).
• In a year or two this will all be a memory tinted with rose coloured glasses.

As we approach grade one, my spidey senses are tingling.  Change is afoot!  

Good luck parents!  Enjoy kindergarten, cause before you know it, it will be a memory!


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Snack Time! - 10 things the Parents Learned in the First Week of Kindergarten

Last week was the first week of junior kindergarten for the minions.  All things considered, for such a huge change in their lives, they are doing great.  I'm sure they learned a lot, but I'm convinced that maybe, just maybe, the parents learned more this past week.  You be the judge.

10 Things the Parents Learned in the First Week of Jr. Kindergarten

1. There is a fine balance between the size of the backpack, the size of the lunch bag and the size of the child.  If any of these ratios are slightly off, there will chaos including: left behind lunch bags, smushed class calendars or complaints that your child simply expects others to carry their bag for them, like they're royalty (or in that famous shopping bag scene in Pretty Woman).
2. Apparently, touching numerous garbage cans and then sticking your hands in your mouth is an awesome game to play on the walk from before and after care to school.  Thankfully our child care providers assure us that it is now understood that this isn't acceptable behaviour.  There has also been a newly developed appreciation for saying the word "disgusting" in our household this week, coincidence? Thankfully garbage day is only once a week!
3. Stories about a child's day at school can sound surprisingly similar to the movie Kung Fu Panda and The Lion King.  I'm pretty sure that someone's "bad" uncle didn't show up on the playground and steal a red ball from the entire kindergarten class.  Even if he did show up, I think we'd have been notified and he'd be in police custody by now.
4. The teachers have assured us via email that all children have been wonderful at school and are saving up all of the grouch for the evenings.  Thanks for that.
5. I previously thought there was nothing more disgusting than the remnants of pudding in an opened reusable container in a lunch bag....(litterless lunch has become the bane of my existence)
6. That is until I discovered what a banana peel can do to the insides of a lunch bag (seriously, it's like a banana crapped everywhere).
7. Neither of my children will accept a spork as a multi-functional form of cutlery and keep telling me how "silly" I am for packing your a fork with apple sauce.  
8. The homework is for the parents.  I spent over an hour and a half on paperwork and forms on the first night of school.
9. It will rain, a lot, but only during the fifteen minute time period when school children are walking to and from school.  The rest of the time they will refuse to wear their rain coats, attempt to fit them into their backpacks, but sadly the coats just won't fit because of all of the other random objects from the house that have been jammed into said backpack for no particular reason.
10. Uncertainty surrounding whether or not one of my children has become a sarcastic genius in recent weeks because they've either come up with a clever pun for their teacher's name, or simply can't pronounce it.

What did you learn as a parent during the first week of school?

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Be True to Your School

Earlier this week we took the minions to visit their brand new before and after school program, where they'll be spending a great deal of their time in the coming months.  We wanted to ensure that they had some familiarity with the location, the kids and the Early Childhood Education workers who will be spending a significant amount of time with them, While Chris and I spoke with the program supervisor, they ran around giggling in excitement of what's to come in the next week and a half.  Each day, the number of questions they ask about their new life in Jr. kindergarten increases as they get ready to say goodbye to many of the friends who will either remain in daycare or will be attending different schools.
As the anticipation and nerves mount, from the kids, but mostly and mom and dad, I can't help but compare how similar starting kindergarten is to any beginning be it life at a new school, starting a new school year, or beginning a new job.  I have a recent and intimate understanding of life at a new job and hope that this experience helps me become a more understanding parent in the weeks to come, as Molly and Jack adjust to "the new normal".

Jack, reaching for the stars!

Here are 8 Secrets to Adjusting to a New Job, School or Experience

1. You don't know what you're doing and that's okay.  Just Breathe.
   So you're the new kid?  Most people understand what it's like to be in your shoes, and good leaders and managers will be able to provide you with support, training and patience to help get you started on your way.
2. There might be some culture shock.
   Any new situation will have distinct differences from your past. Change is a good thing and you can adapt, whether it's an adjustment from having your own office to an open concept floor plan, to a new way of holding meetings or a teacher with a unique style of explaining new concepts.
3. It will take time to understand expectations from your teacher or supervisor.
   You probably aren't psychic (I know I'm not) and it's going to take some time to understand expectations (this isn't just about pop quizzes and new assignments - it's about everything from dress code/gym uniforms, to how to prepare a TPS report, to unspoken rules about recess/coffee breaks).  Be inquisitive, ask questions, ask for guidance and ask for feedback regularly.
4. Sometimes you are going to feel overwhelmed.
   Change is scary and sometimes it can be downright terrifying, but without change we don't grow.  New challenges will help you master current skills and develop different ones. Who's ready to learn to read?
5. What about the cool kids?
   Cliques are going to happen, both around the water cooler and the monkey bars.  Be pleasant, be kind and be yourself .  The people you meet or connect with on your first few days may not become your new BFFs and that's alright, you are there to work and learn.
6. Patience is key.
   Despite what many experts say, it can take longer than 21 days or a month to form new habits and acclimatize to a new situation. A study published in The European Journal of Social Psychology found that on average it takes 66 days for a new habit to become automatic, with a range of 18-254 days for someone to form a new habit (two-eight months).  Give yourself enough time to decide if this is the right fit for you.
7. Give it the old "college try".
   College try is an expression for a reason.  Work hard, but forgive yourself for newbie mistakes. Don't obsess.  Learn, adapt and move forward.  No one is perfect, and neither are you.  The sooner you accept that the better you'll feel about your grade on the spelling test.
8.  Be kind to yourself.
   There are going to be good days and bad days and it's hard to keep up your confidence when you're learning so much new information.  Treat yourself to time with friends and family, a good book or a new Ariel Barbie doll or a He-man Merman figurine (these are actual things that my children want, which may be a part of our unconventional back to school shopping list) to celebrate how far you've come. 

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