Showing posts with label multiples. Show all posts
Showing posts with label multiples. Show all posts

Thursday, 4 July 2019

Together - Should I Keep My Twins In The Same Classroom?

Now that the minions are older one of the most common questions I get involving their 'twinness' involves classroom placement.

"Are they in the same class this year?" - NO

"Have they ever been in the same class?" - NO

 "Was it your choice?"' - YES, so far...

While every family is different when it comes to placing their kids, we've always relied on the opinion of the experts when it comes to where our kids end up classroom wise.  While, from what I've observed, parents in public school can generally request that their children remain together until around grade three.

When You Ask Them To "pose nicely'


The Early Years

When the minions were in preschool the early childhood educators (ECE) we worked with noticed a trend.  Both children (Jack in particular) did better at reaching their milestones when they were in separate groups.  In working with Jack through speech therapy, we found that Jack spoke more when he wasn't relying on his sister to speak for him.  We also discovered, the more he talked, that what Molly was saying Jack wanted or needed was often completely wrong.

Into Kindergarten

The transition into kindergarten can be huge.  This is particularly true for kids who have late in the year birthdays or have never been to formal daycare (outside of the arms of mom, dad, or relatives).  When we were asked about classroom placement for JK by the school we went by the advice from our Social Worker who helped with Jack's speech therapy, along with observations from the ECE staff who had worked with them for nearly three years.  One person made the comment that for Jack it was like he had a little mom or wife (insert Lannister jokes here) by his side all the time, and a break might be a good idea.  Another teacher noted that separating Molly from Jack would allow her to 'just be a kid' and not have to mother him, a role that she has always automatically taken on and one they both could use a break from.

To help with the early days of kindergarten the two were placed in classrooms beside each other.  For the first few months, and then later on if one was having a rough day they'd be allowed to have snack time together.  This provided both kids (Jack in particular) the support he needed without allowing him to lean on his sister too much.

Into Grade School

As a general observation, I find my kids are compared directly a lot less than identical or same gendered fraternal twins.  Just the same, by keeping the two in different classes teachers are less likely to subconsciously or overtly compare the kids and their academic performances or personalities.  They are also less likely to become competitive with one another, which was important to us.  The transition in our school board from a play based learning environment to an academic one from kindergarten to grade one was rough.  Kids who are placed together in kindergarten and likely to get stressed because of this change might benefit from being together until grade two for particularly tough transitions.

Some serious twinning going on here

Other Thoughts

There are several other sets of twins at school.  Some have always been placed together, but I noticed by grade two, most of them have been separated.  Since I don't really know their parents (cause I'm antisocial like that), I can't comment on how this has impacted them and their kids.  I can comment on Molly and Jack.  Because they aren't in the same classroom, they miss each other during the school day.  This means that when they get placed in the same summer camp, swimming lesson class, it's a novelty.  In the evenings and the weekends, they look forward to playing together.  On a school trip where I was volunteering this spring, a teacher asked me if the pair always got along so well when observing them at lunchtime. I was proud that my answer was 'Yes, most of the time'.  I think them being in different classes is a part of that.

Fellow multiple parents, what do you think? What's worked for you?  What hasn't?


To read the 10 things I hate about being a twin mom click here, to read about the 10 things I love about being a twin mom click here.



Monday, 3 June 2019

10 Things I Love About Being A Twin Mom

So many people are focused on the baby years of being a parent of multiples.  Now that Molly and Jack are seven, the baby years are well behind us, but that doesn't mean that I don't remember them very well.  Last week I wrote about 10 things I hate about being a multiple/twin mom (you can read it here), here's the other side of the coin:

10 Things I Love About Being a Parent To Twins


via Gifer

They Entertain Each Other

Molly and Jack play fantastically well with each other and always have.  During my time volunteering on a recent class trip my heart swelled with pride when a teacher asked 'do they always get along this well?'

Perfect Numbers

Roller coasters, car trips, board games, and more, two pairs of people make it easy to go to a theme park or make those buy one get one free coupons really count.


via IMGUR

They Can Share So Many Things

Because they are the same age they're on the same level when it comes to the things they enjoy.  This means they can both get into the same bed time stories, share movies, puzzles, and even pyjamas.  They are sharing the exact same childhood experiences (but through a different set of eyes) which is truly amazing.

Limited FOMO

As a kid I remember being so jealous of all the things my sister (who is five years older than me)
could do that I wasn't allowed to. She could stay up later, play board games with the grown ups, and do cooler things.  Instead of enjoying all the awesome things she was doing I was always looking at what was next and what wasn't available to me yet.  This isn't a factor for Molly and Jack.  This spring when we went to Great Wolf Lodge both kids were able to go on all of the water slides for the first time and it was magical.

They Learned To Negotiate Early

Jealousy and sibling rivalry are rare in our house.  This is partially because there was never a time when the minions didn't have to share - whether it's attention, toys, or food. We used to alternate who got their 'pick' for movie night or a TV show, today most of the time they work it out to watch something they both enjoy together.  We don't even have to get involved.  It's awesome.



via Tenor

Weird Inside Jokes

Molly and Jack came up with nicknames for each other when they want to be silly.  These names are Richard and Ucca (pronounced oooka) and whenever these alter egos make an appearance there is sure to be a giggle-filled, silly time happening.

They Have Each Others Backs

Like many siblings there is this unspoken rule that they can tease and torment each other, but other kids need to back off.  Seeing Jack act like a gorilla to block another kid who was bugging Molly or them check in on each other (and even tell an adult if they think something is up) is an amazing example of their bond.

Once Diapers Were Over, They Were Over

While I didn't enjoy changing upwards of two dozen diapers a day in the early days of parenthood, once we were done diapers we were done them for good. That is a very good thing.


via Gfycat


Being A Twin Is Special

Being a multiple is still a rare thing with only 3 percent of the population being twins.  Molly and Jack are proud to be twins and what that means, even if they have to share a birthday cake.

You Meet and Notice So Many Other Wonderful Multiples

Being able to see other parents of multiples with younger and older kids is awesome.  There is so much you can share with each other, even if it's just to reassure one another that you're doing a great job.  The number of adults who tell me about growing up as a twin and share their stories is amazing, they've also helped us avoid many twin parenting pitfalls!  I especially get excited when adult multiples tell me how close they remain with their sibling(s).



Wednesday, 29 May 2019

10 Things I Hate About Being A Twin Mom

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change my life with my seven year old twins for anything. As time continues to pass as a multiple mom, it's become clear to me that there are specific things that impact me and other twin/multiple parents more than parents of singletons.  I thought these differences would fade away as the kids got older and some have (although others haven't).

As a parent I try to discourage my own kids from using words like 'hate' but here we go...

10 Things I Hate About Being A Twin Mom

via The Odyssey

1. Two kids, one parental/maternity leave, for the same amount of time as anyone having a single child.  The burden of double infant daycare, double toddler care, and double before and after care is staggering. Very few places give a sibling discount (trust me, I've asked).

2. Baby groups are all focused on one parent and their baby.  Mommy and me fitness classes and activities (particularly during the early years) gave me FOMO for life with one baby - something I knew would never have. This left me feeling very isolated during a very vulnerable time postpartum.

3. Once a phase is over, it's over.  My kids went from calling me Mama, to Mommy, to Mom. I also have looming knowledge that I will have two moody teenagers at the same time, two new drivers clamouring to use the car, and double university tuition fees ALL at the same time.

4. Hand-me downs within our immediate family are not a thing.  We need two of the same size at the same time, and it gets expensive when everyone needs new boots, car seats, skates, helmets, etc.

5. You need to stop yourself from comparing your kids to each other, even though they're the exact same age, but still try and embrace the specialness of their twinness (it's complicated). You also need to advocate for your kids when others compare them to one another.

Image via Giphy


6. When people call your kids 'the twins' instead of by their names?  Or ask ridiculous multiple related questions to you or your children (like these top hated questions by parents of multiples)

7. When your children are in the same grade and you volunteer for a school trip, whichever class you end up in, as a parent, it feels like you're picking favourites.

8. You're often fighting with Parks and Recreation about getting two highly coveted (hard to come by) spots in the same level of swimming/skating/whatever else.  If you only get one you need to make the 'executive decision' on who gets to go and who has to watch their sibling participate from the sidelines. Same goes for the strange decisions parents of multiples face on whether or not to put their kids in the same or different classes.


via Giphy


9. It's constant and bizarre compromise.  This year Molly wants a Harry Potter Party while Jack wants a Peanuts party.  We're currently spit-balling other ideas because I don't know what I'm going to do when Voldemort steals the Football from Charlie Brown.

10. Logistical riddles become your speciality, whether it's sleep training, diaper changing, sickness running through your home, or scheduling drop offs and pickups.  A couple of years ago I had to pick up two kindergarten children, at the same time, from opposite ends of the school, so was constantly late for one child.


Click here to read 10 Things I Love About Being A Twin Mom.