Rude Boy

For the most part the minions are good, polite little pre-schoolers. Most bad habits are picked up from other kids at daycare or mom and dad. Jack says, "Oh my god" in a mocking valley girl voice that was inspired by my reaction to a driver who kept cutting me off.  Thankfully he only repeats it to make fun of me. 

Recently our darling boy picked up something that didn't come from mom or dad. One evening a week or two ago Chris was asking Jack to come downstairs for dinner and he wasn't listening. When Chris came upstairs to remind him that it was dinner time, Jack got angry and screamed "Go away idiot boy!"  Chris was simultaneously livid and concerned. Was Jack saying this to other kids at daycare?  Jack refused to answer where he had learned this.   Had someone else called him idiot boy?  In the days that followed, whenever Jack was angry at Chris he'd angrily call him “idiot boy” and then be sent for a time out (or to jail as Jack likes to call it). One night during bath Jack turned to me with a smile and asked "What's idiot boy doing right now?" It was clear that Jack loved the rise he was getting out of Chris and time outs weren't curing him of this new catch phrase. When I reminded him that he wasn't allowed to call dad (or anyone) Idiot boy he just laughed maniacally to himself.

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On Saturday afternoon while Jack was in ANOTHER time out for calling dad Idiot Boy, I was talking to Molly and asked her if she knew where he learned it. "SpongeBob SquarePants" she said simply. I Googled it and immediately found my answer. “Idiot boy” is what Mr. Crab calls our square yellow friend whenever he gets angry at him. Once Jack was "out of jail", I sat him down and talked to him about SpongeBob and explained to him that if he keeps repeating bad things he learns on a particular show that he won't be allowed to watch it anymore. I am happy to say that it seems that idiot boy has been retired (although much of my family is calling Chris "IB" when Jack isn't within earshot). 

This exercised has reminded me that we need to test and adjust consequences dependent on the offence and the child. I think we may also be retiring timeouts for Jack for a little while since it seems that a world without SpongeBob is apparently far worse than time in the big house.

No Son of Mine

I've had the Phil Collins song No Son of Mine stuck in my head for days now. I blame two people: 1) my grade seven music/French teacher who made us analyse and perform the song because she had an unhealthy obsession with Phil. 2) Jack who has taken over the crown of "evil twin" for a couple of weeks now.* His recent behaviour seems really out of character and is directed mostly at Chris.

There has been a shift in the powers that be in our household over the past few weeks. It started off slowly, Molly eased up on the tantrums and focused her efforts on "helping". She genuinely enjoys tidying, carrying and bringing us things and we are ecstatic.** Miss Molly has slowed her efforts in the tantrum department and seems to understand, as well as a two year old can, that whining does not get you anything.    The tantrum sabbatical is appreciated and noted.

We had about two days of peace until it happened.   The thing that I'd been warned about by other twin parents, they switched. At daycare pickup I was informed that Jack gets really upset when other kids around him fight.  Understandable, but instead of trying to break it up he acts like a wrestler and starts throwing chairs. The chair launching continued at home.  Whenever he got frustrated he'd pick up a chair and toss it. In other feats of strength  "Rowdy Roddy Piper" has also been pushing our giant coffee table around the floor just to show he can.*** When we reprimand him and give him time outs, Miss Molly is right behind us wagging her finger in Jack's face saying, "No Jack, All Done Jack, All Done." I'm kind of worried she's going to be the recipient of a folding chair in the back of the head for her need to repeat parental messaging with a finger pointed two inches away from his face.****

 Perhaps some taber tossing of the see-saw is in order?

The other day Jack was playing with the channel changer, trying to figure out the concept of how batteries work. Chris sat nearby and supervised as Jack took the batteries in and out of the remote to make sure he wasn't going to eat them or hurt himself. The remote was confiscated when Jack wanted to see how well dad's BBQ chips would work as an energy source and began cramming them into the battery compartment. After Chris took the remote, Jack flipped out. He chased Chris around the house trying to hit him. We were on our way out the door so Chris wanted to avoid the usual time-out because we were already running late.  Big mistake. Parenting short-cuts often bite us.

Jack was determined to punish Chris. He went back into the media room and grabbed a handful of Chris's records, took them into the kitchen and started whipping them on the floor at Chris's feet.***** As he hurled a German Drinking Songs record onto the floor, directly in front of Chris I couldn't help but feel a little proud. What he was doing was smart, albeit mean. It was near impossible not to laugh. The following day when Jack threw a chair we gave him a time out. During time-out he learned how to scale the wall of his crib, busted into the washroom and started to run himself a bath. There's a new evil genius in the house.  Molly better watch her back, literally.


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*No one is planning on leaving in a dramatic fashion, however we do have trains running behind our house frequently, similar to the noises in the beginning of Phil's "masterpiece".
**Clearly we wanted carrier pigeons not children and misunderstood how things would work as parents.
***I think that he's trying to intimidate us.
****Not that our house is ripe with stadium seating.
*****It was kind of reminiscent of the record Zombie scene from Shaun of the Dead, but with a lot less apathy.