Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Eat It

In the infamous Season 2, Chinese Food Restaurant Episode of Seinfeld Elaine says something that I've felt all too often: "Remember when you first went out to eat with your parents? Remember, it was such a treat.  You go out and they serve you this different food that you never saw before.  They put it in front of you and it was such a delicious and exciting adventure and now I just feel like a big sweaty hog for them to fill up the trough."  Aside from the occasional great recipe or food craving inspiration I often feel totally uninspired in the kitchen and feel like I rotate the same 5-10 seasonal recipes in a bizarre food focused version of Groundhog Day.

Enter the addition of solid food or real human food (I am aware that breast milk and formula is also real human food, but I can't stop myself from differentiating between the two because I haven't consumed either in quite some time). All of a sudden food became an exciting adventure again as we think up new things to throw into the Magic Bullet* and blend everything into a baby-ready consistency.

Photo courtesy of Shawn Nolan.

I have implemented a few guidelines for food tastings and won't give Molly & Jack anything that I haven't taste tested myself.  The introduction of new foods has inspired healthier eating and more walks to the fruit market than ever before which benefits everyone.  We have had some major successes: sweet potatoes, avocado, yogurt (which has done wonders for Molly's stomach issues), and oddly enough couscous.  Recent failure: mashed potatoes which apparently are better to throw, rub in your hair and mush into the seat of a high chair than they are to eat.   Aside from patience and the realization that the introduction of solids has not made our lives any easier, here's what else we've learned:

We Aren't the Only Jerks
Whenever we bring up that we've started the minions on solids, it brings out this unparalleled sadistic side in other parents who began goading us into feeding the minions specific items just to enjoy the sheer horror and disgust on their little faces.**  This also explains why I grew up with lima beans, cabbage, cauliflower and brussel sprouts that mysteriously disappeared from my parents shopping list as soon as we moved out.

Babies Eat Like Drunken Frat Boys
They think it's funny to throw food on the floor.  They miss their mouths constantly.  They grab the spoon out of your hands or try to lick any food remains off of their shirts.  They'll eat food off the floor with no regard for the 5 second rule.  They'll lick food off of each other.***

My Kitchen Floor Will Never be the Same 
I have never spent so much time sweeping and mopping my kitchen floor yet it has never been more disgusting.  I'm beginning to understand the feeding babies lemons thing, at least the floor will smell better.

*Notice I didn't say Baby Bullet, I can draw on a cute face on my regular Magic Bullet with a "Magic" marker.  My cute little storage cups are Tupperware and an ice cube tray.
**Apparently feeding your children lemons for the first time is really funny to parents, I don't know why.  We haven't tried it yet.
***Maybe I've been to different fraternity parties than you.  Maybe I'm describing a rave.  Maybe that's what happened at York U in the late 90s/ early 2000's, maybe not.

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