Wednesday, 13 June 2012

It's the End of the World as we Know it...I don't feel fine...

The zombie plague has fallen upon my family, AKA a really nasty summer cold complete with oozing eye guck, and it has not been pretty this past week.

Outbreak Day 1
23:00hrs - Chris and I were preparing to head upstairs to bed.  Out of no where we heard this blood curdling scream from the nursery.  In the three hours that had passed since Molly had gone to bed she had been transformed into a snot breathing dragon and she was furious.  It took us about an hour to calm her down, and she woke up two more times that night.

The next day tried my best to keep all of Jack and Molly's toys, bottles etc. separate, which is difficult to do when their only two hobbies are biting and licking each other's arms, hands and noses and trying to kill themselves/ each other.

Outbreak Day 3
Chris gave me a break and parented solo while I went to a spinning class with my brother so I could blow off some steam.*  I came back refreshed, relaxed and ready for a good night sleep.  Like clock work at 11:30pm Zombie Jack awoke screaming, "MumMumMum" which is translated to: Pick me up and cuddle me while I scream, cough in your face, rub snot on your face and cry A LOT.**  We were faced with another up and down night of sick baby cuddles and care.

I know that this picture of Jack being attacked by Godzilla(s) has nothing to do with illness or zombies, but it somehow seemed appropriate.

Outbreak Day 4
Am pursued constantly by boy zombie who refuses to actually crawl and creeps around the floor by smacking the ground, grunting and only using his hands to drag the rest of his body while moaning: Mumum at the top of his lungs.

After a near miss dizzy spell the night before I was feeling fine, despite a slight sinus head ache.  I even attended wedding reception for cousin.  Only apparent symptom of sinus medication is severe lack of alcohol tolerance.***

Outbreak Day 5
Symptoms included an ear ache which then transferred into severe congestion and oozing eye.  I was officially infected.  Chris was sent to the drug store for a 2AM run to help save me from myself. Chris stays home from work the next day so I can rest and try to get better.  The babies appear to be gaining strength, while I get worse.  Highlight of the day, Molly removes the carbon monoxide alarm from the wall, sets off the alarm and gets so scared that she poos her pants.  Even zombie Sara finds that funny.

Outbreak Day 7
Have officially become one of those parents who lays there listlessly while my children play around me.  I follow them around the house with pillow so I can collapse on the floor beside them while they play and I can make sure that they don't die.  Feel like someone has been boxing my eye sockets.

Outbreak Day 8
Dayquil no longer working, this has become a sinus/allergy issue.  Babies are happy and giggling, I want to sleep for a million hours, but can't even when they're napping because I have the trots.*****  Chris can't stop laughing at my comment of, "I would have slept better last night had I not had such intense diarrhea."  All I have to say to him is, "You're next buddy."

*And feel some of the pain that I missed by having a c-section rather than natural labour?
**Mom, I owe you an apology, his first word is actually mumum, and it has consistent meaning as I've learned this past week.
***Yeah, I became a slurring mess while the rest of my family looked at me like I was crazy, because besides my mother who was DD, I had matched everyone else round for round and no one else was anywhere near the drunken hot mess that I was.
****Sorry, I know that was too much information, even for me.

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