Monday, 22 July 2013

Tie a Yellow Ribbon

I came to an important conclusion recently that in terms of life skills, particularly that of a domestic crafter, people are not going to have Pinterest envy over any of my exploits.  The Huffington Post recently ran an article on the first world problems parents face keeping up with the Joneses on the arts and crafts front.
I recently succumbed to an epic craft fail when trying to create my own magnetic fridge frames to display photos of the minions. After several glue gun related injuries, a series of ruined (otherwise lovely) frames from Target and IKEA I surrendered and bought a set on line via Etsy that I'm fairly certain aren't going to slide off of my fridge and jab my foot whenever I try to take anything out of the freezer.  They cost me a third of what I spent in frames, glue gun sticks, band aids and shame.
After admitting my hopeless craftperiment, a coworker pointed me to the amazing site craft fail. These are my people!  My failures as a crafter are long as I'm still having fun while I "create" I can live with my purchased frames.
Miss Molly in a hand knit outfit - courtesy of Nana.

My failed frames brings me back to a simpler time: I was about ten years old at my great grandmother Alice's birthday party and wearing this ridiculously puffy gingham dress with a giant bow on the back.  My grandmother Alice* pulled me aside and complimented me on my dress and then added, "Tell your mother to teach you to tie a proper bow, yours looks so terrible I'm surprised you even know how to tie your shoes."**  I went back to my mom to get her to help me fix my dress and my grandmother responded with something like, "I guess it will have to do."***
I consider this to be my first taste of the proof that I'm never going to win a bow tying competition.  I can change a tire, I can bait a worm on a hook, I can cook some pretty tasty meals and I am excellent at finding the perfect gift (that may be home made, but not by me) but if you're looking for the next Domestic Goddess, move along.  Miss Molly, I have been inspired and have looked up how to tie a bow on a dress.  I'd say I did it for you, but last week my shoddy bow skills landed one of the ties of a wrap dress in the toilet.
They say it takes a children listen carefully:
If you need to have your hair done in a fancy braid - ask your Aunt E.
If you need your nails trimmed without getting cut by your mom - ask your Uncle G.
If you want to learn another language - ask your Aunt M.
If you want a gift wrapped nicely, or any origami - ask your father.
If you want to learn to knit - ask your Nana or your Aunt E.
If you want to learn how to parallel park like a champion ask your Grampa P.

You get the picture...I may not be able to complete the task myself, but I'm not afraid (or ashamed to outsource!)

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*Yes, everyone on my mother's side of the family was named Alice.
**My grandmother Alice was the Queen of open faced compliment sandwiches (one compliment, one or two even larger insults).
***Notice she didn't offer to help.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks a lot for sharing this one. I guess there is no reason for you to be ashamed of when you don’t know how to tie. Maybe it is not just your specialty. And I am pretty sure that you have other skills you are really good at.