Monday, 2 December 2013

What's My Age Again?

Often times I'll get jealous about products for babies and I wish there was somewhere I could access these goods as an adult.  Then I think a little more about it and  I understand exactly why they don't offer the product to adults, because it's ridiculous.

Below are 5 items I often wish they offered for adults, but am secretly relieved that they don't and the reasons why:

1. Polar fleece lined jeans.  These are an amazing way to keep little bums and legs warm on a cold winter's day without the added bulk of snow pants.  When I'm standing at a street car stop on a gusty day and I feel like I'm being physically assaulted by Jack Frost, I long for these pants.  Although practically I know that for 90% of adults, wearing these pants would be a fashion no-no.  We would all look like we'd just had collagen injected into our thighs and rump implants, but we'd be warm. 

2. Snaps on your pants for ease of diaper changing/ bathroom.  I love these on my kids, especially now during toilet training.  I know they offer these to people larger than two feet tall, they're called tear-away pants but unless you are a semi-professional athlete, I recommend you proceed with caution when wearing these.  As a teenager who was on swim team, these were a Wednesday wardrobe staple, although as a common prank when you'd spot a friend in tear-aways, you'd pretend to tie your shoes beside them grab the bottom corner of their pants, pull and run as fast as you can.

3. Bodysuits with snaps at the bottom.  I hate when my shirt gets untucked as much as the next gal and I lived through the 1990's in all of it's spandex body suit glory, however after living through the wedding decade (aged 25-35) my tolerance for snaps, corsets, Spanxs and anything that makes going to the bathroom lengthier is highly unnecessary.  Unless there are professional photographers present, my shirt can come untucked and I'm not going to get upset, muffin top be damned!

4. Adjustable pant waists.  A lot of baby/children's clothes (jeans and trousers) have an elaborate button and elastic system which allow you to tighten and loosen the waist as often as you like. This is great because toddlers are shape shifters and clothing size can change by the day.  As an adult this would come in handy for big holiday meals, but would give new meaning to the phrase "mom jeans" and we're all better off that it doesn't exist.

5. Flannel sleepers or footie pajamas.  For a holiday photo these are cute in adult sizes in a novelty kind of way, but for everyday wear, a little less practical. As someone who changes into sweats (or yoga pants) and a t-shirt  the second I get in the door from work, wearing footie pjs would be taking it a little too far, even for me.  There is something about an adult in one piece pjs at 7pm on a random Tuesday night that says, "I give up".

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