Thursday, 14 April 2016

Keep Talking - 51 Date Night Conversation Starters

One of the first things that Chris and I vowed after we had kids was that we'd maintain lives outside parenthood: we'd hire babysitters and we'd go out on dates.  Four and a half years in, I'd say we do a pretty good job.  The thing that we seem to drop the ball on is getting out for dates, just the two of us. Although we've been getting out regularly, our outings are usually social, which means our one on one dates are often at least 4-6 weeks apart.

On date night it can be hard to turn off distractions and focus on our time with each other where we should be recharging and reconnecting.  Sometimes we fall into a rut where conversation focuses primarily on the kids, family and friend updates, and work stresses.  Not exactly the bonding time we were looking for.

Reconnecting on date night can be scary (photo circa 2007)

Sometimes we create a simple conversation rule: No talking about kids or work, period.  Sounds easy, right?  It's not, trust me.

Since we've routinely employed this rule for a number of years now I thought I'd create a little cheat sheet based on some of the best conversations we've had on dates, along with a lot of research to help conversate better.

51 Conversation Starters & Questions to Help You Reconnect On Date Night

  1. What hobby(ies) do you want to start that you keep putting off?
  2. What is on your vacation bucket list?  Why?
  3. What trendy thing do you want to try together? (Ax throwing, escape rooms, paddle boarding)  
  4. What are you reading right now?  What's on your reading list?
  5. What would make this restaurant, bar (wherever you are) better?
  6. What is your Zombie Apocalypse action plan?
  7. What is your biggest goal right now?
  8. What is one of the most adventurous things you've done?
  9. If you could witness any event in history what would it be? Why?
  10. What is the very best time we've ever had as a couple?
  11. What bands are you passionate about right now?  Who have you always wanted to see live in concert?
  12. What is your first memory of me?
  13. If you could have one superpower what would it be?  Why?
  14. Do you think our marriage makes other couples or our kids want to get married?
  15. What do you want to plan for our next date?
  16. What movies do you want to see?  What do you want to re-watch, why?
  17. Fill in the blanks: Our kids would totally freak out if they knew X about you and me.
  18. Fill in the blanks: I laugh whenever I think about you doing X.
  19. What is your favourite photo of us?  Why?
  20. Where do you want to live/ how do you want to spend your/our time after we retire?
  21. What makes you saddest as a wife/husband?  As a parent?
  22. What activity that I do provides you with the most sensual/sexual pleasure?
  23. What time of day is best for us to have a short, but meaningful conversation?
  24. Which celebrity bugs you the most?
  25. If you could try any job or career for a year what would it be?
  26. How would you spend a perfect day, by yourself?
  27. How would you spend your perfect day, with just me and you?
  28. What is the most honest thing you have ever said or done?

    Date night last month, we haven't aged at all, right?
  29. What do you miss about our dating years (pre-marriage or kids)?  How can we work to get that back again?
  30. What one person from your past (that you lost touch with) do you wonder about and miss the most? Why?
  31. When were you most moved by a friend or family members gesture of kindness?
  32. What ways do you think you and I are most similar?  What ways are we most different?
  33. What would your childhood self think of the person you've become?
  34. What controversial issue do you feel most strongly about?  Why?
  35. If you were to be famous for something what would you want it to be?
  36. What scent brings back a favourite childhood memory?  What is the memory?
  37. What website do you visit the most?
  38. What is the most bizarre thing that has ever happened to you?
  39. What do you admire about me?
  40. How do you know when you are happy?
  41. What was your most intimate moment?
  42. When is our relationship at its happiest?
  43. How (non-verbally) should I tell (show you) that I love you?
  44. What is the one thing that would improve the quality of our home life?
  45. What is the one thing that would improve the quality of our sex life?
  46. What activity is so engrossing to you that you lose track of time?
  47. How do we complement each other?
  48. What do you love the most about your life?
  49. What scares you the most?
  50. How well do you think we know each other?  How would we do on the Newlyweds game?
  51. What does intimacy mean to you?

What questions have you been asked that helped you reconnect with a friend or spouse?

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