Words of Wisdom: My Kids In 140 Characters Or Less

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

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1. J: There's a problem at the superhero BBQ Me: What is it? J: Hulk keeps burning his tongue on sausages cause he isn't practicing patience

2. J: The potty talk at dinner isn't our fault M: Yeah daddy hypnotized us to make us talk like this #ToddlerLife #parenting

3. Even a #humblebrag about ur kids getting along via text message will result in an epic battle where everyone is crying #parenting

4. J: I need an ice pack dad: why? J: I hurt my arm. dad: how? J: It's covered in apple sauce. dad: so it needs ice? J: YES! #ToddlerLife


5. M: You mean I can't do jumping jacks in the car? Me: Do I really need to explain just how dangerous this is? #ToddlerLife


6. J: I wish that daddy was a cheese string. But don't worry I won't eat you, I'm not hungry right now. #toddlerlife #parenting

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7. Watching #HoneyIShrunkTheKids this weekend has led my son to an obsession of getting revenge on "All of the Scorpions" #ToddlerLife


8. It's probably a good idea to turn off #Buffy when your daughter wakes up with a nightmare #adulting


9. When u check on ur child before bed & find him fast asleep with his hand in a bag of contraband popcorn (No DNA test needed, he's mine) 10. M: can we get a new pet? J: can it be an invisible corn snake that solves mysteries and fights crime? Me: sure? #ToddlerLife



To read more blogs on my kids on twitter click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.