Momvisible

It amazed me how differently yet the same people treated me when I was pregnant.  Some felt that it was an open invitation to grope my pregnant body and give me the bad touch*, others thought it was a fitting time to point out how gigantic my belly had grown, yet the instant I was on the subway requiring a seat it seems I turned invisible.

Just over a month ago Chris and I were heading back from drinks out with some friends.  While we were at Dundas West subway station waiting for the Junction bus an old friend of mine exited our bus.  We both immediately recognized each other**, gave each other a hug, chatted for a few minutes and headed our separate ways.  It turns out that he lives about 4 blocks away from us and we indeed live in a small world, even though our lives are inherently very different from one another now.  He is a single guy who was heading out at 11:30PM on a Friday night whereas we are married, with babies heading home to a sitter at the exact same time his evening was beginning.  This in itself made me feel really old and lame.***

Last week Chris and I were walking back from the grocery store.  I was pushing the stroller and he was lugging a giant backpack full of food.  We walked past someone and Chris commented that he really liked the guy's shirt.  I turned around to instantly recognize the same person who we'd run into a month earlier.  When we were just out of ear shot and I explained to Chris who it was.

"We saw each other last month, how come he didn't recognize me?" I asked.
Chris replied simply, "It's the stroller.Guys, specifically single guys, don't look at women with strollers."
"What about married guys, with children?" I asked.
"I look inside the stroller at the kids.  Then I'll maybe make eye contact with the mom and smile."

This led into a debate about how the stroller makes me Momvisible**** to young men, but super visible to grandmother types, other women who look your post-pregnancy body up and down, or people who want to criticise your parenting. What about the Yummy Mummy?  The impression that I get is this has to do more with comparing other mom's to each other within a social group, or mom's among teenage boys who think just about anything with boobs is hot.

Does this stroller make me look invisible? 

So the next time you go to the store in your mom jeans, with baby vomit on your sweater and no make-up on and you run into that guy from high school, don't worry - he likely won't see you, but his girlfriend or wife probably will.



*About pregnancy and the bad touch - http://multiplemomstrosity.blogspot.ca/2012/02/this-too-shall-pass.html
**It's amazing how Facebook can make it really easy to spot someone you haven't seen in over 15 years.  That and the fact that I've looked the same since I was 4.
*** Honestly midnight on a Friday has typically been a game ender for us long before the arrival of the minions.  After working all week who doesn't want to crash out for a while and save up their energy for Saturday?
****When I typed momvisible into "the Googles" it directed me to so much porn!  I wonder if I can patent the non-dirty version of a word?