You Give Me Fever

From what I hear, all children react differently to teething.  I've heard the legends of the wonder children whose teeth magically appear in their mouths with no drama or pain.*  Whether this legend is true or not, these wonder children are not my children.  Molly and Jack are both teething right now and it is not pretty.

We picked up Jack from daycare on Friday to find that his bum was so sore from teething induced diarrhea and that he couldn't stay seated.  I am aware that there is a huge debate about whether or not there is a correlation between teething and the runs.**  Once we got him home and soaked the several pairs of pants he had obliterated at daycare, I carefully took off his diaper, slathered him up in Penaten Cream and laid him across my lap, diaper less and pants less while he happily ate cheerios, drooled all over me like a running faucet and played with his new favourite toy: The Magic Cooking Pot.  This became our routine for a good portion of the weekend, while we waited for his baboon butt to heal and his new teeth to come in.  It's some sort of miracle that 1) Jack can spend so much time laying on my lap eating Cheerios without trying to crawl away and 2) That he didn't pee on me once this weekend.  By Monday he was in better spirits with a light pinkish butt, but still no new teeth, I'm expecting another flare up any day now.

Here's a picture of me circa 1979.  I'm proud to see that my mother also favoured taking pictures of pain and bought me topical t-shirts rather than soothing or rubbing orajel on my gums. The jerk genes run strong in my family.

Molly doesn't cope with teething in the same way as Jack.  She attacks her sore mouth, ears and gums with a vengeance, using any object she can find, generally the more dangerous and disgusting the better.***  On Sunday I caught her with my toothbrush, which she had shoved into her ear, her nose and the back of her gums before I realized what was going on.  I don't even know how she got it, but I guess it was time for a new brush anyway.  Her body copes in another way, fever.  Teething related fevers that say, have daycare calling you at 3:45PM in the afternoon, for the second Monday in two weeks and result in her having to stay home for another 24 hour rest period because her fever peaked at 103 - AGAIN and she isn't allowed back until it has been gone for at least a day - AGAIN!

Anyone have any suggestions for teething themed apparel for Molly or Jack?  It seems like it's almost time for their close up!

This is what Jack did to the Vaseline/Baby Moisturizer.  Not entirely helpful when you're trying to change a diaper quickly and prevent baboon butt.  He thinks that it's hilarious.

*Like any urban legend, I heard that my sisters', friends' cousins' child didn't experience any pain teething, but I think it was just something made up to give parents hope in dark times.   

**Those who believe there is a connection say that the bowel issues have to do with the swallowing of excess saliva, which causes extra acidity in the stomach, leading to loose stool.  Those who think there is no connection have obviously never cleaned up one of Jack's "blow-out" diapers while he's teething.

***Favourite/Forbidden objects she's gone for to aid her throbbing gums: batteries from the remote control, cat food, wooden spoons and most often the insoles from Chris's shoes.