My first experience with a "lone-wolf" was with my cat Monsieur Remy DePompeneaux.* He was a polydactyl kitten (he had extra digits in his front paws, so they looked like giant mittens) who played by his own rules. By played be his own rules, I mean that he would escape and run away, ALL THE FREAKING TIME. There was one epic chase scene at my downtown apartment where neighbours, furniture delivery men and I ran around all three floors of my building trying to corner him. It was like one of those really annoying door skits from The Monkees, but with significantly fewer masks. Finally, he was cornered when an old man on the first floor lured him in with a fresh tin of tuna. Eventually, Remy ran away for good despite our best efforts, hundreds of lost posters and Chris and I nearly getting attacked when we cornered a family of raccoons in someone's backyard because I was convinced we'd found him. I was heartbroken. As a parent, I never want that kind of pain for Molly or Jack, but know that it's pretty well inevitable.
Molly and "Bear Mountain". Pink Bear in bottom left corner.
When you have Girl/Boy twins, the first few months you will receive a lot of pink and blue gifts. In our case it was bears. Molly and Jack were given a giant sleuth of bears**, which until recently (for the most part) stayed perched on their bookshelf. That is until about a month ago when Jack adopted ALL OF THEM. We suspect he's building a colony of Lost Boys and he, of course, is their leader. Right now he eats and sleeps bears. He sleeps on a pile of them every night. During the day we try to limit him to one bear, as it's hard enough to slug around two toddlers and their gear without an army of candy floss coloured bears.
When we're out and about Jack must select one bear to accompany him.*** He has two favourite travel bears: a soft blue one with a long snout (for him to chew on, cause nothing says "I love you" like a little Hannibal Lecter style face eating), and a small, soft, pink Gund brand bear with a pink ribbon around its neck. Completely adorable, right?
There is one problem: Pink Bear is a "lone-wolf". He likes to wander and it's driving me crazy. Pink Bear unexpicility will drop out of a stroller and have his own adventure almost everywhere we go.
This past Saturday after a trip to The Gardiner Museum he went missing. We ended up re tracking our steps to find him, as Jack sobbed. We finally found Pink Bear: sitting on a bench, smoking a cigarette, in front of the museum. Rumour has it he had just returned from the strip club and was all out of cash. Pink Bear ran away three times the following day during a trip to The Royal Winter Fair. Much like his owner, he too would much rather roll around the floor of a parking lot like a maniac than hold hands.
Jack thinks Pink Bear can change, I have my doubts.
Want Multiple Momstrosity updates on Facebook click here
*Yes that really was his name.
**That is the correct name for a large group of bears, I looked it up.
***Sometimes we give in and he takes two bears on the road with him.
No comments:
Post a Comment