Monday, 24 February 2014

Stacy's Mom

When we were naming our children, like many parents we took extra effort to ensure that we picked fairly traditional names that would grow with them and carry them well into life.  We looked at how people could pun names for school yard taunting, we looked at rhymes and we went to sites where people rated their names and talked about why they liked or didn't like them.  As extra insurance we made sure that we picked some solid middle names that they could turn to if they decide that they don't like their given names.

We were happy with our choices.  On vacation in Seattle with the minions when they were 10 months old, a waitress at The 5 Spot immediately picked up on Molly's spirited nature and declared, "You're much too feisty to be a Mary* now aren't you!" in a thick Irish accent.  I was thrilled that someone had picked up on what a tenacious young woman my daughter was going to be.

babes in toyland

A while later I heard a buzz about a drug that was making it's round through the club scene: Molly.   Molly is a form of MDMA (Molly - short form for molecule) is essentially one of the key ingredients in the drug ecstasy.  Things my daughter has in common with the drug: Exposure to either Molly can distort vision, hearing and sense of time.  Molly(s) can cause confusion, anxiety, depression, paranoia, sleep problems and drug cravings, just ask my friend at our local liquor store. This "Molly" thing will pass I thought to myself.   It's not like we named our daughter Heroin, right?

On Friday night, Chris was out at a concert, the kids were in bed and I was making some home made soup. Just your typical wild and crazy weekend night.  While I was waiting for the vegetables to soften in the broth I flipped on the TV.  The only thing I could find was Breckin Meyer's brain child Men at Work: a show featuring the lives of five friends (one of them is Hyde from that 70s show and one of the others is Buffy the Vampire Slayer's own schemer Warren) who work together.  One of the characters was depressed about something (a woman I imagine) and his buddies decided that it was time for him to meet someone.  When he meets a good looking woman, the friends overhear that she's going to a party for "Molly" which they assume is a birthday party.  They decide to crash Molly's party and hi jinx ensues when they discover that someone spiked the KoolAid with Molly.  Every one gets high and touchy feeley and wants to make-out courtesy of "Molly".

Thank you Breckin Meyer for bringing the drug reference Molly to prime time. I kind of  hate you.  We used to be friends back when you were that cute skater kid from Clueless or even when you played John Arbuckell in the Garfield movies (not the best choice for your career I'm sure) and I even like your voice over work on Robot Chicken, but now, if I ever meet you I'm pretty sure I'm going to kick you in the crotch, hard.

On Saturday night we went to a house party and someone introduced themselves as Stacy.  Another party goer asked her if her mom "had it going on", she sighed and rolled her eyes.  I felt her pain.

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*Molly is the "pet" name for Mary.

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