All that Jazz

Last year for Mother's Day Chris got me a wonderful gift.  It was thoughtful, made me feel appreciated and didn't cost a thing.  I woke up on that Sunday in May and he proclaimed that I wouldn't have to change an entire diaper all day.  I was able to spend the day with my family with a little less obligation as a mom and loved it.

This year I am a working mom, who has toddlers who require less frequent diapering, so I'm feeling a little less chained to the diaper genie than I was last year.

A couple of days ago Chris and I were out for a walk with the kids and he mentioned that he was hoping to have a pick up game of baseball with some friends next weekend and asked me which day worked best.  I said Saturday, not Sunday, for obvious reasons.  He asked why.  I forced myself to calmly explained that it was Mother's Day.*

He then said something, albeit jokingly, that made me want to explode with fiery rage.  "You know the kids aren't capable of doing something for you this year and you're not my mom so I really shouldn't be obligated to do anything for you."

Are you effin kidding me buddy?

My husband fancies himself a comedian.  One of his specialities is making me crazy.

Chris is a really great dad, an equal parent who gets offended when fathers talk about babysitting their own kids.  I in turn reciprocate by becoming morally outraged when I see the infant pain medication commercial on TV that only features women taking care of their ill children.  He does his fair share of diaper changes, chores and has gotten a lot better about feeding the children messy food (like yogurt) that I know makes him throw up in his mouth almost every time he feeds them.

Chris considers himself a romantic, however has never given me a card or a love note in the nearly ten years we have been together.  That I can handle.**  Regular email updates from work about our weekend plans doesn't count as an enchanting love letter and it isn't going to wow me into jazzing him that night.***

Mr. Husband, you did an amazing job for Mother's Day last year, in fact you set the standards quite high and then screwed yourself by saying something stupid this weekend just for the sake of poking the bear.  You've since asked me for some direction on Mother's day, so here's some suggestions for you and all the other dads out there.


This is what I don't want for Mother's Day:

• Anything that I plan myself
• Flowers
• Brunch or dinner in an overcrowded restaurant
• Anything affixed with cheesy phrases about being a great Mom****

Here's What I want:

• Something that takes away some of my responsibility as a mom, but still lets me spend time with my family (this is why last year was perfect)

That's pretty vague, right?  Good Luck!

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*Because he should have remembered.
**After years of enduring gifts from an ex boyfriend who would routinely give me greeting cards filled with coupons offering "Hot Action Cash" I'm good with living in a world with absolutely no romantic greeting cards for the rest of my life.
***My grandmother, Alice, used to call booty calls, celebrity hook ups or getting it on "jazzing".
****There's plenty of time for amazingly horrendous gifts in a couple of years when the children can pick them out themselves, here's some of the worst Mother's Day gifts I bestowed upon my own mother: http://multiplemomstrosity.blogspot.ca/2012/05/kiss-from-rose-happy-mothers-day-im.html