Fashion

In the first year of parenthood dressing the minions was easy, I'd put them in a onsie and repeat.   Now that they're older it's a little more complicated: there are a lot more accessories now that they're walking and the girl child wants some say in what she wears. This weekend I realized that if the fashion police showed up at daycare randomly, I'd be getting some tickets for the way I've dressed my children.*   I have mocked other parents for years about the ridiculous garbs they make their children wear and now I know, sadly that I am guilty of at least three fashion sins when it comes to our kids, but knowing is half the battle, right?

Toddler Fashion Crimes

Big Fat Party Animal
During the winter Jack wears jeans or cargo pants with brightly coloured shirts and t-shirts.  It's adorable.  Now that it's warm outside I realized that not only does he have wildly coloured t-shirts he's also the proud owner of several loud (albeit awesome) shorts.  Separately his T-Rex shirt and luchador mask shorts are amazing, when paired together he looks like he's going to tap a keg to funnel some beer or that he's on vacation but lost his fanny pack. 

The Laura Ingalls
Sometimes you want to dress your daughter up like Holly Hobby and that's okay, I've been there myself, but there's a line you don't want to cross.  When people think that you're daughter is an actor at Pioneer Village it's time to stop.  I also think there is an age expiration on this look.  Over ten, think again.

The Disco Stu
This one is tough to judge because we don't have crystal balls.  Did my parents know that my 1970's Super Chicken Halloween Costume (complete with bright red bell bottoms) would become dated?  I just don't know.  Just be sure to take lots of pictures so you have material for the slide show you make any potential suitors watch before they go on a date with your teenage children.

Thing One, Thing Two
This isn't just a twin thing, it can be used as a parental torture device for non multiple siblings as well.  I rarely put the minions in matching clothes or coordinating theme clothes, but I'm guilty of it sometimes (like for birthdays, Halloween or when I'm bored).  My mother also did this for my sister and I, who are five years apart in age.  Not only did this mean that we were wearing matching outfits for photo day it also meant that I'd receive something I'd already owned as a hand-me-down five years later and that my twelve year old sister was wearing the same thing as a seven year old on the same day.**

In coordinating Christmas Theme Outfits

Little Lolita
My friend KM recently lamented that she couldn't find any summer shorts for her 10 year old daughter that weren't "club wear booty shorts" so they end up going to a grown up store to make sure that her daughter didn't look like a street walker.  I'm fairly certain if Chris had his way Molly would be wearing turtlenecks and long pants until she turns 40.

Gilligan's Island Vs. the Trucker
Sun protection is important, unfortunately this means that you need to put your children in hats which means you have a choice: The Baseball/Trucker hat vs. the Tilly/Fisherman hat.  We've chosen to go fishing hat and my parents recently bought the minions matching berets from Paris, so we may have to mix this look up with some hipster chick.


What fashion crimes are you guilty of pushing onto your children?

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*Although the fuchsia kitten shirt is Molly's doing, not my own.
**The best three I can remember are: matching gingham dresses, Cosby sweaters with coordinating leg warmers and the coupe de gras red velvet capri pants with matching vests and bolo ties.