A ways back I attended a professional mentoring event. I had a great conversation with a seasoned mentor about the question he has been asked most by his proteges. The topic that came up again and again was work/life balance. His answer: "There is no work-life balance." I was confused, then he continued, "There are priorities and you need to make choices about what your priorities are, period."
It's some of the best advice I've ever heard. When I had nothing but free time I accomplished very little because time (and motivation) was not an issue. Projects came, projects went and time flew by and the only thing I had to show for it were computer disks* full of half finished projects. I went to school and took courses in play writing, sitcom writing and journalism. I started things, but nothing ever stuck.
For regular readers you know that I have a major "thing" for Douglas Coupland, in fact some may think he's Molly's Father. This is one of my favourite quotes from him, " “By the age of twenty, you know you're not going to be a rock star. By twenty-five, you know you're not going to be a dentist or any kind of professional. And by thirty, darkness starts moving in- you wonder if you're ever going to be fulfilled, let alone wealthy and successful. By thirty-five, you know, basically, what you're going to be doing for the rest of your life, and you become resigned to your fate..."
When I turned 30 I feel as if my creative side met my practical side and I kicked myself into gear. I wrote my first novel and I sent it out to nearly 100 publishers. I received a lot of rejection letters on my self-addressed stamped envelopes, a lot of non-replies and I even had a couple of bites that never made it to fruition, but I was doing it!
After I got pregnant with spontaneous twins I thought that I would chronicle my pregnancy, but I was so sick that I couldn't manage anything. After Molly and Jack were born I tried my hand at fiction again, working on my second novel, but my heart wasn't in it any more, so at six weeks into my life as a mom I began writing Multiple Momstrosity. Parenthood has a bad rap. I was always told about all of the things that I wouldn't or couldn't do after I became a mom; about the restrictions, the time and the endless responsibility. This has become my passion project, a priority and my twisted love letter to my children.
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*Yeah I said disks, I'm that old.
At age 42: The writing itch is still there, but the idea of 'being a writer' is gone. When that itch is really itching, I just log on and write stuff...doesn't matter if anybody reads it (yeah right).
ReplyDeleteI overheard someone talking about what "being an artist" is...the difference between having ideas and actually doing something with them. People reading what you're saying is a bit like writer crack.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy reading your writing! Maybe try a book again, this time something about parenting without all the glitz and glam. (This coming from a now 30 yo still dreaming)
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