Wednesday, 30 April 2014

Dear Mama (Happy Mother's Day....I'm so sorry)

Mother's Day is just over a week away as evident by looking at any greeting card or jewelry store suggesting that you show mom just how much you care by purchasing her fake diamonds in the shape of a heart that she'll never wear at least so long as your mother isn't an 11 year old tween.  What this means for me is that after yet another 12 months of parenthood, I have realized a lot more to apologize to my own mother for. Not only do I have my own toddler antics to repent for, I also have the strife caused by my progeny to add to this list.   That's right, two generations of bad behaviour to apologize to my mom for! Sigh, here it goes.

Double strollers for twins

Dearest Mom,

I'm so sorry....

  • Any time I drew on anything that was not paper and essentially ruined your nice things.  I recently caught Jack using bathtub crayons to "decorate" our antique Duncan Phyfe drop leaf table and wanted to cry.
  • That on those rare occasions when you'd fall asleep on the couch for a cat nap, I ALWAYS woke you up and I don't even fully comprehend why I was so compelled to do this.
  • The way I criticised how your ponytail skills never made my hair flat enough, that you brushed too hard or took too long, despite the fact that I was moving my head around like I was a head-banger at a Pantera concert the entire time you attempted to do my hair.
  • Any time I insulted your cooking.  There has to be some sort of graph that shows the coorelation between increased time spent preparing a meal, also increases the likelihood that the minions are to say, "I don't like it" and push their plate away as if I'd just served them a plate of dog food.
  • Public Tantrums - Particularly in front of neighbours, other parents at daycare or anyone we have to have contact with on a regular basis.
  • For spitting in the face of danger by running into the street, across a busy parking lot or doing anything that made your heart skip a beat because you were sure that I was repeatedly trying to die.
  • For saying mean things when I didn't know any better.  When Molly says things like "I don't love you any more" and then giggles, I know she doesn't mean it, but that doesn't make it suck any less.
  • That the first time Molly and Jack gave you kisses and told you they loved you, they immediately passed on a terrible cold.
  • For every time that I ruined your night sleep by crawling into bed with you and dad and then took up more room than the pair of you combined.
  • For whining, so much whining!
  • That I know I'm probably forgetting at least 20 things that I should be sorry for.

P.S. Still not sorry about the black lipstick as a teenager.

To see The Mother's Day Card Hall of Shame click here

To read my apology from last year click here

To read my first ever Mother's day apology click here

Want Multiple Momstrosity updates on Facebook click here

1 comment:

  1. Awww pretty nice and fun to read post. I wish I still have a mom to say sorry to :(

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