Things my Son says as Posted on Twitter

As I reviewed recent things that my kids have said that have been posted on Twitter, they're all Jack! Maybe sometime soon we'll get an all Molly one!

via Wikipedia 

New recumbent exercise bike delivered. J: dad did you buy an X wing fighter? #StarWars

At the dinner table. D: sometimes kids who are bullies grow up to be bullies. One day you may ever grow up and have a boss who is a bully. J: Like horde prime. He made the whole town skiddish. #Shera

Today’s home school hack. J: as long as M doesn’t speak my teacher cant see that I’m not in French. class. So I just run in the room when I hear her talking so I don’t lose participation marks.

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The biggest “believability” issue my husband is currently facing whilst watching Home Alone involves the inflated price of Kevin’s Cheese pizza. Hmmm. #movietwit

via The Canadian Encyclopedia 

The boy has started to refer to the most exciting scene in a movie as “the money shot”. It made for some interesting dinner time conversation tonight.

Today’s lunch J: oh crap there’s a pencil in my soup.

Things My Kids Said As Posted On Twitter

During these times, celebrating the small moments can be especially important. Not everything my kids say or do warrants a blog post.  This is why I like to share this roundup and snippets of recent conversations I've had with M&J as shared on Twitter.  This has been especially interesting given the introduction of homeschooling into our lives.  Enjoy!

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Today in #homeschooling C: okay so how can you tell that this coin is a toonie? J: because it’s the one with the Komodo dragon on it. C: umm. Err. That would be cool but that’s a polar bear #parenting

J: sometimes the cat reminds me of Bill Skarsgård when he plays Pennywise cause sometimes she acts like she wants eat my head

So apparently according to my son, the rest of his family are that coworker who keeps eating his snacks #SelfIsolation #parenting

Working on acrostic writing, continuation from school Me: Let's start with Spring. J: Spring, S is for Spring. Me: You can't use the same word twice, pick something else. J: nods, completes assignment. Me: Now do your name, Jack. J: Jack, J is for Jack #facepalm #homeschooling

J: Mom do you know why puppies are so cute?  It's because they have really big eyes. Just look at them aren't they adorable? #perspective #parenting

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It took a full 5 days of #homeschooling before I made someone cry about clock math. I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner #winning #SelfIsolation

Day one of home schooling and self-isolation led to a lengthy debate over whether a #pterodactyl is a #dinosaur or a flying reptile.

Things I’m saying to my son on day 7 of #SelfIsolation ”please do not, under any circumstances, use the bathtub to demonstrate the damage of a tsunami” #parenting

via Tenor

Things My Kids Said As Posted On Twitter

Not everything my kids say or do warrants a blog post.  This is why I like to share this roundup and snippets of recent conversations I've had with M&J as shared on Twitter.  Enjoy!

J: you know hot metal? Me: what’s that? J: like really loud guitars and someone screaming like they’re being burned by something really hot. Like #ACDC -hot metal Me: I think you’ve invented your own music genre.

via Giphy

J: eww this smells like dried grapes. me: you mean raisins? Dried grapes are raisins. J: That’s disgusting. I didn’t know that.

Dad: what’s all over the remote control? M: Caramels (this is why we can’t have nice things) #parenting

via Giphy

J walked into my bedroom this morning with a nerf bow and arrow, shot five darts against the wall, screamed “Happy Valentines Day” and then ran away cackling. If this isn’t the epitome of #parenting I don’t know what is #HappyValentines

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J: what’s the name of that cartoon character who is old and can’t see properly?  Mr. Man Goo? Dad: I don’t think that’s anyone’s name. Me: Are you thinking of Mr. Magoo? J: That’s it! #parenting #thingskidssay

J: who’s that drawing of? M: Super Girl. J: why is she wearing pants? Super Girl always shows some skin. Your drawing isn’t accurate. #comics #parenting #sadbuttrue

Things My Kids Said As Posted On Twitter

Not everything my kids say or do warrants a blog post.  This is why I like to share this roundup and snippets of recent conversations I've had with M&J as shared on Twitter.  Enjoy!

J: Today at school we found a cockroach on the playground, he was so cool, but don't worry, I didn't take him home because I thought that might make you mad. (yeah, MIGHT make me mad) #parenting

via Giphy

Trying a new recipe in the slow cooker today. As I loaded the ingredients in this morning M said: What smells like barf?  I obviously have really high hopes for dinner tonight #parenting

J: I am going to act like I'm 20 to try & impress my celebrity crush, cause she's also 20. Me: How are you going to act 20? J: Drive a car. Oh, and act stupid, but pretend I know everything. Me: That's really, very accurate. #parenting

Things I say now that I’m a parent: stop pretending to be Pennywise and freaking out your sister

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J: my favourite number is eight because it’s so cute and because it has an adorable head and body #parenting

J: Vive la resistance means fight the power, baby! #parenting

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Day 2 back to school post holidays J: I left my pillow on the bathroom floor so I could lay down and rest while I brushed my teeth. #parenting

M: Jack can you cuddle me? It will help me calm down and fall asleep before Santa comes #twins #parenting #ChristmasEve

Things My Kids Say As Shared On Twitter

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are recent Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month or two, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

1. J: I like diarrhea. It’s funny. I just hate it when I have it. #parenting #kids #thingskidssay

via Giphy

2. At Banana Republic with the minions. J turns to mannequin in suit J: look out everybody it’s the #headlesshorseman AAAA! #smh #parenting

3. It only took 9 days of #backtoschool to get a call that a child had puked all over the hall at school #winning #parenting #smh

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4. J: If I ever knock my #teeth out, can we replace them with metal ones? You know, so I can cut cans apart using my teeth. #smh #parenting #goals

5. Whoever thought to program the #lice #shampoo ads on the #radio for the #FirstDayOfSchool well played.  #parenting

6. J: What are we doing at camp today? Me: Bowling & Laser Tag. J: Not at the same time I hope, cause someone's going to get hurt!  #ThingsKidsSay #parenting

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7. J: Can you play that song from #SpiderManFarFromHome you know the one by the pheromones? #BestBandNameEver #parenting #TheRamones

8. It’s near the eve of their eighth birthday and my kids still manage to do stuff like get silly putty all over our couch (and claim “it’s just cheese”). This is why we can’t have nice things #parenting

Things My Kids Say and Do As Shared on Twitter

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are recent Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

via Giphy

1. M: I added a sliced cucumber to the side of my glass of milk to make it fancy #parenting

2. J: I’m Cute and smart. You can remember cause it rhymes with toot and fart. #parenting #smh 3. M: can we call daddy? Me: no he’s still sleeping. He’s in a different time zone. J: you mean like in #backtothefuture me: like a business trip that’s two hours behind us. J: well that’s boring

via Giphy

4. J: is the movie #Scream about people screaming #ghostface? Dad: sort of? #parenting 5. J: When we get new fish we can name them whatever we want right? Cause I'm going to name mine diarrhea Me: NOPE!  Just No J: giggle giggle giggle

via MTV

6. M: you know what's the best about moms? That they're soft in all the right places for cuddling #parenting #bodyposi #LoveYourself #bodyimage #effyourbeautystandards #Loveyourself

7. J is reading out loud to me for his homework Me: Why aren’t you reading that part out loud? J: It’s a thought bubble so you can’t say it out loud. It can only be in your head #parenting #ThisIs7

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8. M: I need you to sign this birthday card I made & you need to make sure that you write the J facing the right way J: but how will they know it’s really from me?  Me: I think they’ll figure it out by reading your name #smh #parenting 9. M: dad were you sexy ever?  Like a long long time ago! #parenting #thingskidssay 10. Thing 965 my #kids have in common with our #dog  All 3 have an intense need to poop as soon as they get as far as physically possible from a washroom or garbage can

via Giphy

11. It’s amazing how the most drama fuelled kid problems rear their heads 15 minutes after bed time #parenting To see more of what my kids say in real time follow me on Twitter @Sarabethbug

Things My Kids Say As Posted On Twitter

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are recent Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.



1. Me: Why are you only wearing underwear? J: The #chupacabra stole my clothes #parenting #SMH #ThingsKidsSay

Image Courtesy of Giphy

2. J: I think King Kong grabbed that woman and climbed up the building because he was angry that people weren’t showing him respect. So he thought “this will teach them” #parenting

3. There is a fly in my house thanks to my children and their disdain for shutting the screen door. As I try to work today this has gone from mild annoyance to Walter White levels of rage (Breaking Bad the #freelance writer edition)


4. J: Why don't we ride on rainbows? Me: I don't know how to. J: (slaps down fist on table) Why doesn't this make you as angry as it makes me? #parenting #SMH #ThingsKidsSay

Image Courtesy of Tenor

5. Me: What would you like for lunch? J: A bowl of #Nutella and a spoon Me: I respect that, but it's not happening J: How about you get out some crackers and I'll pretend to eat them too?. (The apple doesn't fall far from the tree) #parenting


6. J: Do you like the Food Fighters? Me: They're okay & they're called the #FooFighters J: Well that's disappointing. Can we have a food fight some time? #smh #ThingsKidsSay #parenting

7. I don't know what's more horrifying - my 6 yr old whistling & pointing for me to sit down while he ate the #gelato I bought him like he owned me OR the 18 yr old cashier who offered a sympathetic, "terrible 2s?" and genuinely meant it #parenting #smh

Image Courtesy of Giphy

8. The ultimate #summerbreak parental conundrum: when your kids are getting along great but speaking primarily in potty talk. Do you break it up or let it slide? #parenting

Image Courtesy of Gifer

9. My son refuses to use his brand new #Frozen toothpaste because "it's too spicy" (battles I never saw coming) #parenting #FacePalm

10. Looking back at Js school work for the year and pleased his teacher didn’t give him a hard time for his word choice on his spelling list #parenting #kids

To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug & click here, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, & here.