Friday, 28 April 2017

So Sorry, Happy Mother's Day

I can't believe that it's that time of year again. In just a couple of weeks  it will be Mother's Day.  In annual tradition, today I look back on the year that has passed and apologize to my own mom for "crimes" that I most likely violated when I was five years old based on my own motherhood experiences this year.  Deep breath, here it goes....


A fav picture taken on Mother's Day Last Year

Dearest Mom,

I'm so incredibly sorry for...
  • crying because I hit snooze button on my alarm clock
  • interrupting any time you sit on the toilet by screaming "I HAVE TO GO POO NOW!"
  • if i ever complained that you wore your pink polar fleece pullover too much.  I have a black one that I easily live in 4-6 months a year and it's the bomb!  Molly is unthrilled with this fashion choice.
  • poking you in the eye when I climbed into bed with you following a nightmare
  • blood curdling screams following a nightmare that kept you awake for hours
  • peeing all over the bathroom wall, repeatedly (I hope I never did this...I imagine my son and brother also owe you an apology for this gem)
  • not appreciating what a feat it is to have matching pairs of toddler socks
  • leaving the cap off of every single marker I've ever used
  • bringing home completely untouched lunches because "I'm totally over that food mom!"
  • stealing food off your plate and being so completely adorable about it that you just take it
  • splashing in the tub (at least that partially solves the peeing on the wall issue)
  • loving messy craft supplies that involve glitter
  • setting off toy bombs directly before company arrives
  • never, ever flushing
  • leaving a path of painful toys for you to step on
  • wiping my chocolate ice cream hands on the wall "to get them clean"
  • coming to cuddle you only to let out an epic fart (and now using the word fart because I know you hate it - I meant "wind" I swear)
  • shoving my sibling to the ground because they beat me in a race
  • insisting on being carried to the car at five years old
  • inviting random kids I just met to sleepovers 
  • using your jeans as my own personal towel and tissue
  • sneezing in your face
  • gifting you or dad broken glass that I painstakingly collected with my bare hands
  • eating garbage food I found on the car floor (who am I kidding, your car floor has always been immaculate - that would never happen to you)
  • refusing to wear a hat/ gloves or a warm jacket and then complaining to my teacher about how cold I am all day long
  • saying "sawy" semi-sarcastically when you call me on my crap
  • asking for more of something and then refusing to eat or drink it
  • complaining about epic hunger five minutes post bed time
  • at least a dozen other things I've forgotten


P.S. Still not sorry for the black lipstick I wore as a teenager

P.P.S I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world!

To see the first ever apology note click here
To see the 2016 apology note click here
To see the 2015 apology note click here
To see the 2014 apology note click here
To see the 2013 apology note click here



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