Blaze of Glory

Growing up as a middle child, hand-me-downs were a given.  Toys, clothes, bikes, books, you name it, I was second in line to get it.* The weirdest pass alongs were the story books.  Apparently my sister fancied herself as a fictional villain vigilante.  She would attack the bad guys in her story books with crayons, markers, chewed up gum and if she really hated them, she'd poke pin holes in their eyes.  I seriously question my mother's supervision during play time based on the supplies my sister readily had available to deface the "bad guys" and the time she had to really "get them good".  This meant that for me, receiving a new, non-vandalised book was an extra special treat. 

One of the first non-hand-me-down books I ever remember receiving was my very own copy of The Velveteen Rabbit.  A story that depressed me greatly as a weird child who would routinely alternate which toys she would play with so that the others wouldn't get jealous.  The thought of the threat of a scarlet fever infected stuffed rabbit being burned horrified me, but back then I didn't understand germs or disease.  I just understood that I liked my toys and that I didn't want anything bad to happen to them.**

 

Image of The Velveteen Rabbit courtesy of: soulsurfer.wordpress.com -

 (obviously infected with something - or knows that he's about to become ash)

Now that I am a parent and deal with the playground plague on a routine basis I side with the parents who are trying to rid their home of scarlet fever infected anything.  You can bet your bottom dollar that when it comes to infectious disease and the minions and I'd be using explosives and a blow torch to ignite that infested rabbit before the Nursery Fairy could save that rascally rabbit.  I remember thinking how callous those parents seemed about setting everything in that poor little boy's room ablaze, whereas today if it was Chris and I we'd be celebrating the nursery fire like we were John McClane at the end of Die Hard.***

It has not been a good week.  We have had ill children and very little sleep.  Molly has a fever that will disappear and then come back with no warning, spiking as high as 104 (1 degree shy of emergency room time).  We cancelled our Saturday night plans that we'd been looking forward to for almost a month and put a pause on our life again to take care of sick children and it doesn't seem to get easier.  I am disappointed when things fall through but that isn't the worst part.  The worst part is the fear.  When you see your child go from playful and effervescent to glassy eyed and listless you feel an incredible powerlessness that I can't explain.  You want to will them better, but you can't.  Instead you carry around your little girl all weekend like you're Kanga and she's Roo and hope that she gets better soon.

 In these difficult, sleepless times it's hard to know what to do, but here are some services that have really helped us out late at night, on a holiday Monday or during a snow storm when we've had to deal with sick minions.  I hope that you don't need them.  If they aren't local to you ask your doctor or nurse practitioner for services available in your area.****  It also helps to know where your nearest late night and 24 hour pharmacy are - just in case.

Telehealth Ontario - 1-866-797-0000  - Free access to a registered nurse 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

 Medvisit -Doctor's House Call Service - Free of Charge with your OHIP Card - www.medvisit.ca or  416-631-3000

 Ontario Poision Centre - 1-800-268-5900 - we have never needed this one - but have it programmed into the phone just in case.





*Years ago my mother thought it would be cute to dress my sister and I in matching outfits for school picture day.  What made this particularly tragic was first, that my older sister was wearing the same thing on photo day as her little sister who was five years younger and second that my only "new" clothes were repeated in duplicate, half a decade later as hand-me-downs.
**It was bad enough that half of the characters in my bed time stories had soulless pin holes for eyes thanks to my older sister.
***Yippee Ki Yay Mother F*&#r!.
****When I told our nurse practitioner that I'd called Telehealth one night during a croup scare she reminded me that their office has a doctor on call 24 hours a day 365 days a year - something I was told when I signed up with the medical centre five years ago and long since forgotten about.

You Live, You Learn

Blight and plague has settled upon our household for November.  In dealing with illness, particularly my own and Jack's, and trying to maintain some semblance of normality for Molly and Chris I have learned the following things this past week:

1. Strep throat feels and smells like two hobos are fighting each other, on a humid day, using broken glass shanks from malt liquor bottles that they have drank and then urinated in - IN THE BACK OF YOUR THROAT!
2. The only thing worse than getting a throat swab when you have Strep Throat is having to fight your 15 month old into submission, while you have Strep Throat, so your nurse practitioner can get a throat swab from him.*
3. When you get liquid strawberry penicillin for your infant and the pharmacist says, "I made up some extra so you may have to throw it out when you've finished the ten days." what he really means is, "Your child is going to spit this in your face with a venom that parallels puritanical treatment of those who were accused of witch craft and you'll probably need some extra."  
4. Strep Throat if untreated can turn into Scarlet Fever and needs to be treated seriously, especially in infants...as one of our sitters L aptly put it when I was panicking, "Don't worry Sara, It's not like in Little Women, Jack is not Beth.  There are antibiotics he can take."

Beyond illness I have also learned the following:

1. Our children have become dumber...When I was a child I had idiot mittens to prevent me from loosing them, essentially a string that connected my mittens through my jacket arms.  We are not permitted to provide these types of mittens - in case our children manage to hang themselves on the idiot mitten strings...we need to provide clips instead.  My daughter now has Supreme Idiot Mittens.**  I also need to get them both weird Dickie's (mock turtlenecks to use instead of scarves) or some alternative to avoid their imminent hangings***.  A few years ago my father-in-law hurt his neck and upon recovery decided that his brace was a warm alternative to a scarf and kept wearing it because it was "cosy" - maybe we could borrow the neck brace now that he's wintering in Florida.
2. The highlight of my week was going grocery shopping last night while we waited for Jack's prescription.  The joy I experienced at the ability to have both children sitting in the same cart with two independent seat belts is infinite...Thank you Fresh Co.

The minions doing some grocery shopping!

*While we were pinning Jack down someone from the front of the medical building called, likely to ask, "Why are you trying to kill that baby?"
**Patent pending.
***If anyone has any suggestions where to get these for cheap please let me know.