Just One Look

On New Year's Day a couple of years ago I stumbled across a blog entry from The Bloggess where she shared the weirdest search terms that people had entered into a search engine to get to her blog.  This is incredibly entertaining and a very interesting way to look at my own tags and the random ways that people stumble upon Multiple Momstrosity.  In 2014 nearly 65,000 people visited my blog, I hope a lot of these people are return visitors, Google Analytics assures me that about 60 percent of you are return visitors.  Big brother is watching and says thank you for coming back!

A sunset I captured on our way back from a free Glass Tiger show Canada Day

Here are some of the strangest search terms that led people here in 2014.


My sister is a snake
People who were searching for some kind of camaraderie about their sisters being jerks got what they desired when they were led to a story about my fear of snakes and a mean practical joke that my dad and my sister E played on me at Santa's Village when I was a kid.  People searching about snakes would also learn how Molly inherited my fear of snakes naturally and why I'm like Indiana Jones.

Horses are Amazing
While I agree that horses are amazing, majestic creatures, people aren't led to a post where I talk about beautiful steeds. Instead they can read about a day I spent at Riverdale Farm with Molly and Jack (when they were really small) and what I learned.

Head Banger Girls With Long Hair
This one has come up several times, and I imagine 14 year old boys who are seeking photos or videos of their dream metal girls as "inspiration".  Instead they get a post about toddler Jack, how he was a head banger when he was teething and how we coped with it, sorry boys.


In addition, here are three of my most popular posts from 2014.

14 Ways to Make it to the Other Side of The Nightmare Phase - Coping Tips for bad dreams


Loss of a Pet - Talking about losing my cat Pan this past summer.  As a mini update, Molly and Jack still ask about Pan A LOT.  One day, about two weeks ago, Molly asked Chris if Pan was ever coming back and he said no.  She ran to her room crying.  That night she told me that her stuffed Cheshire Cat was Pan, and he's remained Pan ever since, I guess this is her way of coping.

The Adjustment to "Big Kid Beds"  - Two toddlers drunk on freedom and their "present" for me.  To update here, over the Christmas break we let Molly and Jack sleep in mom and dad's room for nap one afternoon.  No sleep was had.  Instead they built me a clothing snowman by emptying a drawer of my clean clothes onto a pile of dirty laundry and sculpting it vaguely into the shape of a snowman.


Looking forward to sharing our new adventures in 2015!

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At the End of the Day

On New Years Day 2013, I came across a great blog entry by the Bloggess where she tracked the strangest search results that led people to her blog.  After this I started keeping a closer eye on the random things that bring people to Multiple Momstrosity.  In 2013 I saw nearly 50,000 visitors and I'm so happy for the support and connection with many families proving the Mommy Wars (or parent wars) is just a bunch of bogus media hoopla.  I hope that many of you are regular visitors and enjoy my take on life with two plucky toddlers, although I still assume that many people stumble across this blog by accident in the search of other things (like porn) because Google can't predict everything we are searching for*.

Below in bold are the strangest search terms that have led people to my blog in the past six months.


Flute poems for mom - In  grade four and five students in my school were all made to learn the recorder.  The thing about the recorder is that even if you can play it well, it still sounds like it's being played by tone deaf gnomes who are hell bent on giving you a migraine.  I never learned to play the recorder beyond the most basic notes. I just mimed it in class, because even at age 10 I knew it was the worst.  The recitals we produced as a result of these is what my imagination comes up with when I think of flute poems for mom. Searchers were sent to my post on Terrible Mother's Day Cards I had sent to my mom as a child.

How to Emasculate a Man -  When I saw this search item the first time (it's shown up a few times), I thought about both the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and images an evil revenge plot to give someone their "comeuppance".   This led vigilantes to my post about the TV Show Modern Dads and people who don't respecting men taking paternity time.

Young Woman Sufficiently fat - Maybe someone was doing a paper on Rubenesque women, or perhaps they were trying to pull a Mean Girls on their own personal Regina George.  It took seekers to my post on BMI assessment report cards in schools.

My toddler popped a stress ball in his mouth - I can confidently say that anyone who typed this into their search engine got exactly what they were looking for on a gold platter.  Here I talk about what happens when Molly attempts to eat a stress ball (in the shape of a globe) while strapped into her car seat.


In addition, for my year end round up, below are three of my most popular posts:

A shopping list for life during your first week as a new parent.

Vampire Jack the biting king.

Exploring the Twin Connection.

I was nominated for VoiceBoks Top 50 Hilariously Funny Parent Bloggers - If you can please take the time to vote for my blog http://voiceboks.com/top-50-hilariously-funny-nominated-parent-bloggers-2014/- Just click and vote for me (Multiple Momstrosity)

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*An acquaintance of mine posts entertaining updates on Facebook and Twitter about Google Autocomplete and other targeted algorithm advertising failures and how these follies prove to him that robots are still a long way off from uprising and taking over the world.  For example: The tips I got on how to roll a joint from Google when I was looking to get a recipe on roasting pumpkin seeds further proves that Google doesn't know me.