The Royal We

Recently I told a co-worker about how I make Molly cry by chastising her every time she calls out her new favourite catch phrase, "Go away!"  She asked me if it was hard to stomach that I was making my daughter cry.  The short answer - no.  First of all, I am assuming that she picked up this annoying gem at daycare because it isn't something that Chris and I ever say.  I'm also fairly certain that colic has numbed me permanently for ITTS (Irrational Toddler Tears Syndrome).  The bottom line, she shouldn't say mean things, especially in the morning, before I've had my coffee when I'm trying to style her hair for daycare and have already spent an eternity negotiating the existential crisis of leggings versus jeans.  I told my colleague that one of the hardest things about dealing with toddler antics is to avoid laughing or smiling when they are doing something naughty, albeit highly entertaining.

Chris and I often blame bad behaviour or annoying traits in our children on each other's genetics.  Any temper tantrums, outbursts of anger or tears Chris claims are passed on from my side, specifically me.  I blame Chris for any stubbornness or any obsessive compulsive behaviour.

Over the past few weeks Chris and I have witnessed a development in Molly and Jack's relationship: the beginning of no holds barred teasing.

Molly can be a little bit emotional.  She can also be a Bossy Bessie.  When people ask me if my daughter is a princess, I correct them: She's "The Queen" and not in a figurehead monarch kind of way, in an "Off with their heads!" way.

For the most part Jack quietly does what his sister says, for example her insistence on him wearing Mardi Gras beads whenever they play tea party.  The rest of the time he tries to ignore her abundance of demands.

A few days ago during dinner, Molly let us know that she was done her spaghetti and that she needed to wipe her hands and face.  She meticulously scrubbed off the sauce and sat back down beside her brother to drink her juice.  Jack dipped his hands into her bowl and rubbed sauce on her face.  She panicked, freaked out, cried a little bit, cleaned herself up and sat back down.  We told Jack not to rub sauce on his sister's face.  Two minutes later he dipped his hand back into her bowl and rubbed it all over her hands and shirt.  He looked at us with an anticipatory open mouthed smile, akin to the face Muppets make when they are trying to be funny.  Chris had to turn around and look out the window he was laughing so hard while I attempted to explain to Jack that he was not to put pasta sauce anywhere but inside his mouth, period.  Molly just wanted us all to "Go Away."  I'd say that teasing runs on the father's side, but I'm fairly certain my siblings would have a different perspective.


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The Bear Necessities

Last week I received some wonderful news.  Someone, I have no idea who, kindly nominated me for an international funny parent blogger award - Top 50 Hilariously Funny Nominated Parent Bloggers – 2014. For the month of January I'm competing head to head against a bunch of very talented writers from around the world.  It's always extra exciting to know that this came from someone who wasn't in my immediate family.  Whoever you are, thank you so much for taking the time to put Multiple Momstrosity forward.  You have no idea how much this means to me.

I made a promise to myself a while ago that I would make a concerted effort to get better at promoting my blog.  I still find myself cringing and debating when I overhear someone say they have twins, or are expecting twins when I know I should be marching right over to them and telling them about how much misery loves company and they can/should read about how we're surviving life after twins.

"I'm hunting for bears!"

This is photographic evidence as to why you say no when your bestie and brother suggest you let them do a baby photo shoot for you, with costumes and props.  Chris thinks this is the photo that is most likely to get child services called. I feel somehow compelled to inform everyone that this is a toy gun and I don't know why Jack looks so smug.

 This is where I need your help as readers, friends, parents and bloggers!  The rules of this contest are fairly strict: 1 vote per IP address period and no "monkey" business to promote votes.  So in no way can I offer anyone gold stars, giant stuffed unicorns, babysitting services, good karma or send them an email chain letter forecasting 100 years of bad luck if they don't cast their vote.  But I can ask nicely...so here it goes.

Any of the following five things would help me get closer to my personal goal of making the Top 10!

1. Click Here Now and cast your vote for Multiple Momstrosity. (they are listed in alphabetical order so scroll to find me)
2. Come back and vote when you're at another computer, cell phone or new IP address and vote again.
3. Send an email to a few friends, fellow parents, relatives, people you think might enjoy reading about the minions and include this link: http://voiceboks.com/top-50-hilariously-funny-nominated-parent-bloggers-2014/ asking them to cast a vote for Multiple Momstrosity.
4. Tweet, Post Facebook Updates, Google Plus things and share the word on the interwebs about how people should vote for Multiple Momstrosity: http://voiceboks.com/top-50-hilariously-funny-nominated-parent-bloggers-2014/, but again please don't offer any gold stars to get me votes!
5. Fellow Bloggers, if you could give me a shout out to get your readers to check me out and voting for for me...well that would be awesome sauce!