Momvisible

It amazed me how differently yet the same people treated me when I was pregnant.  Some felt that it was an open invitation to grope my pregnant body and give me the bad touch*, others thought it was a fitting time to point out how gigantic my belly had grown, yet the instant I was on the subway requiring a seat it seems I turned invisible.

Just over a month ago Chris and I were heading back from drinks out with some friends.  While we were at Dundas West subway station waiting for the Junction bus an old friend of mine exited our bus.  We both immediately recognized each other**, gave each other a hug, chatted for a few minutes and headed our separate ways.  It turns out that he lives about 4 blocks away from us and we indeed live in a small world, even though our lives are inherently very different from one another now.  He is a single guy who was heading out at 11:30PM on a Friday night whereas we are married, with babies heading home to a sitter at the exact same time his evening was beginning.  This in itself made me feel really old and lame.***

Last week Chris and I were walking back from the grocery store.  I was pushing the stroller and he was lugging a giant backpack full of food.  We walked past someone and Chris commented that he really liked the guy's shirt.  I turned around to instantly recognize the same person who we'd run into a month earlier.  When we were just out of ear shot and I explained to Chris who it was.

"We saw each other last month, how come he didn't recognize me?" I asked.
Chris replied simply, "It's the stroller.Guys, specifically single guys, don't look at women with strollers."
"What about married guys, with children?" I asked.
"I look inside the stroller at the kids.  Then I'll maybe make eye contact with the mom and smile."

This led into a debate about how the stroller makes me Momvisible**** to young men, but super visible to grandmother types, other women who look your post-pregnancy body up and down, or people who want to criticise your parenting. What about the Yummy Mummy?  The impression that I get is this has to do more with comparing other mom's to each other within a social group, or mom's among teenage boys who think just about anything with boobs is hot.

Does this stroller make me look invisible? 

So the next time you go to the store in your mom jeans, with baby vomit on your sweater and no make-up on and you run into that guy from high school, don't worry - he likely won't see you, but his girlfriend or wife probably will.



*About pregnancy and the bad touch - http://multiplemomstrosity.blogspot.ca/2012/02/this-too-shall-pass.html
**It's amazing how Facebook can make it really easy to spot someone you haven't seen in over 15 years.  That and the fact that I've looked the same since I was 4.
*** Honestly midnight on a Friday has typically been a game ender for us long before the arrival of the minions.  After working all week who doesn't want to crash out for a while and save up their energy for Saturday?
****When I typed momvisible into "the Googles" it directed me to so much porn!  I wonder if I can patent the non-dirty version of a word?

Walk This Way

During my second year of university I took up jogging.  I found it therapeutic as I stomped my way along the pavement while I nursed my first heart-break.  I also enjoyed the comradery with other runners as I went along my route: the head nod, the smile and the hello.  It was like you were in The Stone Cutters* or some other equally exclusive group.  I rediscovered my love of running about 3 years ago, only this time on a treadmill with my ipod on and no excuses of rain being the reason why I could not run.

Running during pregnancy proved to be more difficult (month 1-2 ordered to modified bed rest, month 2-5 violent constant vomiting, month 6-9 enormous twin belly - could barely walk let alone run, followed by the mandatory 6 week post c-section exercise ban).  Fast forward to today, the twins are 10 weeks old and my treadmill sits untouched.  With two babies, the idea of going for a run while they are napping seems incredibly stressful to me.  The idea of jumping on the treadmill with the monitor perched in front of me waiting for them to awaken seems like a recipe for disaster and many short, frustrating sessions.

This fall I made a vow to get outside with the dynamic duo as much as possible and to get rid of my post pregnancy cat belly (cats, particularly older cats, tend to have this loose skin that hangs down from their midsection, this loose skin is filled with a soft layer of fat).  On the weekends that means walks in the park, neighbourhood and hikes with the babies strapped to us like dynamite, during the week it means heading out with my stroller, my ipod and the twins for about 30-45 minutes.

The walks have been great, our video rentals are returned a little faster (although still chronically late), letters get mailed and all three of us return fresh faced and feeling a lot better.  Yesterday morning I went out at around 9:30 to beat the rain.  When I rounded the corner for the last half km stretch I picked up my pace as I felt the first few drops.  I passed by a young dad walking his 1 year old in a stroller, he smiled, nodded and said hello and I reciprocated. There was that comradery that I've been missing.  I walked the rest of the way home happy. I declare stroller walking to be the new running.

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*the first of many Simpsons references.