Thursday, 22 November 2012

Toy Soldiers

A few weeks ago, after an incident at daycare, Jack said his first legitimate (non-mama, dada, nana) word: Bite. For a week or so after he lost an epic toddler battle over a coveted toy if you asked him about the bite he would start to cry.  This is similar to him crying when he's too terrified to crawl past the carbon monoxide detector in the upstairs hall because of the shocking noise it makes when you pull it out of the wall - repeatedly.* 

Tomorrow is, "bring your favourite toy to daycare day".  I don't see how we're going to get through this day without having to fill out an incident report because we break up slapping matches between the minions over plastic bowls and cooking pots daily.  Bringing eight other kids into the picture, with a toy that they really like is just stirring the magic cooking pot, literally.

Enjoying the console of doom

Here are my questions about this:

1) If my children get into a fight with, or bite each other do we still have to sign an incident report?  Because we'd be signing it twice, victim (Jack) and perpetrator (Molly) report.
2) If klepto Molly steals another child's toy, do we have to return it? Or is it finders keepers, losers weepers?
3) Would it be unfair to give each of my children toys that go together so that they can begin fighting with each other right away?**
4) Is it unfair to arm our children with toys that they could turn into weapons?***
5) Will they be filming this edition of Baby Fight Club, The Cage Match Edition?  If yes, where can I purchase copies for holiday gifts?

Playing with dad's shoes...a game that never grows old.
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*Apparently Pavlovian training is the way to go with the boy child.  Whenever he tries to play with Chris's record player if you make a high pitched Beep noise, akin to Police Academy's Larvell Jones (Michael Winslows') impression of a carbon monoxide detector causing Jack to pause and then cry.
**For example Jack loves boxes and placing other smaller objects into boxes.  If I give Jack a box to take in and Molly a small toy that would fit into said box it's only a matter of time before Slapvember begins.
***Honestly, any toy can be turned into a weapon. Molly loves to smack herself in the face with a book and giggle while I yell "Book Face!"  Maybe this isn't a well thought out game.

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