As a parent of toddler twins we live, eat and breathe childproofing. That's why when we venture into a home of adults who have not faced toddler or child proofing for over 35 years, things can get a little hairy. This past weekend we enjoyed our Inaugural Thanksmas Celebration (Thanksgiving and Christmas). When 11 of us cram into the family room at Grandma and Grandpa's several things are apparent, especially when 45% of us are between the ages of one to seven.
- We don't cry over spilled milk, but we do cry over spilled Mimosas. Children or adults who waste spirits will be dealt with appropriately (in time-out).
- The toy box is cool, but not as cool as trying to throw grandma's free-weights through the glass coffee table (Jack). It's even cooler if you yell, "Bam-Bam" or "Pow" while you do this.
- If you prefer your brother's Thanksmas gift to your own, you can steal it (Molly). Prison Rules Apply.
- You can also rename said gift Giraffe, "Bunny". If you call it "Mine!" enough times your brother will actually believe you. This is not the first time that Molly has been an Evil Over Lord to Stuffed Giraffes. We're noticing a trend.
- Anything that a child can do that makes grandma and grandpa nervous is exponentially more fun. The more warnings you receive, the more exhilarating.
- The glass table topped with lovely blown-glass ornaments and its proximity to ANY child is like playing "hot" and "cold" with mom and dad's blood pressure. Pass another mimosa, please.
- Santa's workshop is in Grandma and Grandpa's basement. We know this because we spotted the elves' saws laying on the ground behind a high chair (next to the pile of BBQ lighters laying on the ground).
- All is fair in love, war and the battle over the last cinnamon bun.
- When Grandma asks, "You're not going to write about this on your blog are you?" you know your husband has your back when he says, "Well now I think she kind of has to."
Molly and her prisoner of war, Bunny - the Giraffe