Father's Day In Photos

I am not really one for romantic or grand public gestures on social media or otherwise.  Neither is my husband, Chris, in fact it's become somewhat a point of pride for him that he has never (ever)  given me a card in the 15 plus years we've known each other. He writes songs and the most prominent one he's written about me involves me stepping on a nail at a construction site.

As I spend another Father's Day with him, one thing is really apparent. He's always been a super involved dad who cares a lot about his kids. So I'm going to celebrate him publicly.  Fatherhood is being there for your kids, being kind, and being patient.

Life with twins, particularly in the early days, is exhausting and busy.  Today we can sit back and enjoy some time with our kids one on one that isn't a way to stave the other one off from a meltdown (like we did in the not so good ol' colic days).

Happy Father's Day to all the awesome dads I know.  Happy Father's Day to all the dads, step-dads, uncles, grandfathers, brothers, mentors, dads who can't be with their families on Father's Day, dads who are no longer there, and friends who make the cut as honorary family members.  And a special thanks to all the dads and moms who are single parents and do it all!

How Will I Know? Father's Day Questions to Ask Your Kids

This year for Father's Day I didn't have my ducks in a row enough to ask a bunch of dads questions about being dads.  Instead I decided that I would ask the minions a bunch of questions about their dad and see what they had to say. This is what Molly and Jack, age four and a half thought about their dad.  Some of their insight is pretty amazing. I highly encourage parents everywhere to ask these questions to their kids and record them, because it's pretty amazing.

Skipping Stones with Daddy

1. What makes dad happy?

Molly: Daddy likes to play with me.  He likes hugs and kisses.  I am going to give him a beautiful shirt for Father's Day with a woman and a lady on it and that will make him happy.

Jack: Cuddles from Jackie Bear.

2. How does your dad make you laugh?

Molly: When he plays with me and pretends to be daddy monster and when he tells me to stop laughing, that always makes me laugh.

Jack: When Jackie Bear roars in his face.

3. What does your dad do when you’re not around?

Molly: He goes outside and looks for me.

Jack: Talks to mommy.

4. What is your dad really good at?

Molly: He's very good at kissing me and hugging me and hugging me.  He's good at lots of things like helping me not fall down.

Jack: Playing and being a dirt dog.

5. What is your dad not very good at?

Molly: He's not very good at drawing pictures.

Jack: Listening.

6. What does your dad do for a job?

Molly: He listens to what everybody says to him all day long and then eats lunch with Ziad.

Jack: Wears sunglasses and eats chocolate and dead skin.

7. If your dad were a cartoon character, who would he be?

Molly: He's like Beastur (from My Pet Monster).

Jack: Buster Bunny. (from Tiny Toons)

Chris, Um, err, Beastur Image via Behind the Voice Actors

8. How are you and your dad the same?

Molly: We both love each other.

Jack: We are like twins.

9. How are you and your dad different?

Molly: I am good at drawing and daddy is not.

Jack: We like different types of tea cookies and I like Jabba the Hut and daddy does not.

10. How do you know your dad loves you?

Molly: Because he loves me.  He always loves me, because he is so beautiful.

Jack: He's my buddy. He gives me cuddles when we watch TV and reads me stories.

11. What does your dad like most about me (mom)?

Molly: He loves that mommy and me are both so beautiful. (she kisses me on the cheek and then runs away)

Jack: He likes popping balloons with mommy.

To read my Father's Day Honest "dad" survey post from 2014 click here.
To read my Father's Day dad survey post from 2013 click here.

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Father & Son

Parenthood has ups and downs.  There are great days and there are really, really bad days.  This is the second part of my Father's Day series celebrating the good, the bad and the ugly about parenthood.  I hope you enjoy what these fathers had to say as much as I did.


What's the worst part of being a dad?

 "The crying. Completely stresses me out. Crying in the car. Crying when they are legitimately hurt is even worse. Not being able to take their pain away is horrible."  - Mike, Father to two toddler daughters

"Knowing they will grow up." -Jake, father to two child daughters

"I miss having the chance to be alone."  - Ben, father to infant son

"The ‘hurts’ to your kids and, by extension, to their families. You feel the hurt with them but, in most instances now that they are grown, you can only be supportive while he or she deals with a hurt on their own.  Fortunately, there haven’t been a lot of hurts." - My Dad - Father to three grown children, four grandchildren

Sarabeth says: I guess Clark Griswold had something right, nothing seems to beat quality time with your kids.

Fondest Memory 

"Family time/outings/vacations together. Especially enjoyed being involved with Scouts & Venturers – had both kids in Venturers together. Tons of fun for 'Jungle Jim'" - - My father-in-law - Father to two grown children, five grandchildren

Dad and Miss Molly

SaraBeth says: When my first long term relationship ended at 20 my ex-boyfriend had a significantly more emotional goodbye with my father than with me.  I've run into him a few times over the past decade and a half and each time I see him  the second words out of his mouth (after hello Sara) are "How's your dad?"  Awkward!

Who is your fatherhood role model?

"My fatherhood role model is my mom. She raised me and taught me everything I know. Particularly how to respect women."  - Mike, Father to two toddler daughters

"My Dad of course…didn’t miss a single hockey or soccer game or practice in 11 years I played...that is caring." -Jake, father to two child daughters

"My father... he taught me everything. And if everything goes wrong, I'm going to blame him!"
Chris, Father of infant daughter


SaraBeth says: I love (and it drives me insane) that my dad is always trying to "help".  Who else is going to remind me to put steering fluid in my car, get an oil change or leave me messages about gas prices going up?  Who else would have his daughter put her boyfriend to shame because she knew how to change a tire and he didn't?*

What is your favourite memory with your own father?

"From a young age, my Dad was always great about taking my brother and I on camping trips. And we're not talking about "pull your car up and plug in a cooler" sort of trips, but full on, week long backwoods trips. I learned more from these trips, both about inter-personal relationships (think Lord of The Flies) and nature, than I ever did in school. I appreciate how hard it must have been to wrangle us, especially when we were younger, but I want him to know it was totally worth it."  - Ben, father to infant son

"Time at the hockey rink." Darcy, father to infant daughter

"Growing up, whenever my dad and I went to baseball games we were equals.  In my early thirties we started going to regular baseball games together again.  There's something to be said about cheering for something together to help reconnect, even if the only talking is screaming 'Kill the Ump!'"  -Chris (my husband), Father to infant toddlers Molly & Jack

Sarabeth says: It seems like being the "ideal" dad isn't about being perfect it's about trying hard, even if you look silly or fail in the process.

Who is the best TV dad? 

"Ozzie Nelson." - My father-in-law - Father to two grown children, five grandchildren

"On TV, fathers are too cardboard for me to choose who were best and worst. Even Archie Bunker and Al Bundy had their “best” moments."  - My Dad - Father to three grown children, four grandchildren

"Steve Martin in Father of the Bride.  That movie makes me cry." Chris, Father of infant daughter

"Phil Dunphy from Modern Family."  Darcy, father to infant daughter


Who is worst TV dad?

"Peter Griffin Family Guy."  - Mike, Father to two toddler daughters

"Any single father from the TV series Mad Men.  Apparently fatherhood in the 1960's was about drunken debauchery, womanising and ignoring your children.  Thank goodness we were raised in the 1970's!"  -Chris (my husband), Father to infant toddlers Molly & Jack


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*I swear my relationship with my dad goes beyond car maintenance.  I make him sound like a good mechanic here rather than my dad.

Daughter

When I first met Chris I wasn't even sure that I wanted to have kids.  The only dad I'd ever known was my dad and filling those shoes would be pretty tough.

Picking only one or two childhood or adulthood experiences wouldn't capture why my father is my dad and why it's been amazing to be raised by him.  Here are a few of my favorite memories/things about my dad  in no particular order:

He always coaches everything, whether you want him to or not.

• A couple of years ago my brother and my dad went on a road trip together.  My brother wanted to go run some laps in the hotel pool, my father insisted on going with him to life guard as there was no one on duty.  He spent the entire time my brother was swimming walking the length of the pool and critiquing his technique.

He always shows up to support you in everything, no matter how bad you are at it, whether you want him to or not.

• As a teenager my sister was embarrassed by my parents coming out to her soccer games and wanted them to pretend that they didn't know her.  My father bought my mother a custom sweatshirt that said "I'm not E's Mother" on it.  
• When I was 12 I was a terrible runner*, yet for some reason (probably at the encouragement of my dad) I decided to run for a distance event for cross-country running.  When I was miserably last and walking and wanted to give up, my dad and my sister showed up to jog along beside me to cheer me on and get me to finish.  It also delayed the ridicule, cause no one is going to smack talk you in front of your dad.

This is the card that I got for my dad this year.  I bought it in Seattle, but you can get it, or other cool cards at: http://www.etsy.com/shop/BettyTurbo

He made sure that I knew how to change a tire and check the oil on a car before I was ever able to drive on my own.**

He makes amazing breakfast & he BBQs great/ most of the time.

• His back-bacon and egg English Muffins are to die for.
• If ever my dad is cooking and the food turns out poorly, rest assured it's because he got caught up in a game of catch, baseball or soccer with his kids, grandchildren or a combination of both.  So your meal may be burnt, but it's burnt with love.

He makes you do adult stuff & reminds you about it A LOT.

• Because of my dad I remember to check my steering fluid, I file my taxes on time and we actually purchased a living will kit on Groupon.***   

His passion about books and reading.

•  I find it random that my father made me read Animal Farm, at age ten, and write him a book report about it - in the Summer.  Now he and I share the same satirical taste in certain books and give each other some great recommendations.

The way he pretended to be Frankenstein when my mother wasn't home.

• When we were little and my mom was out, sometimes my father would pretend to be a monster.  He'd walk around the house, not speaking, sticking out his bottom teeth and bump into you a lot.  It was never scary, just incredibly annoying, as "Frankenstein" ran into the toys we were playing with and slowly chased us around the house.

Yesterday, Chris was playing with Molly on the floor and she got distracted, ignoring him for a toy that we call Astronaut Comic. Chris pretended to be a monster, took Astronaut Comic in his mouth and started bashing him against the side of the coffee table while he grunted and roared loudly.  He had Molly's attention and she was thrilled to be spending time with her dad.  Chris, I guess you make the cut.

Happy Father's Day, to my dad, Chris and all other Father's!

*Not that I'm a fabulous runner today, but I'm not doing it at the ridicule of other midst-pubescent middle-schoolers anymore.  My treadmill doesn't judge me.

**This shamed a couple of ex-boyfriends who had to step aside while I took care of road problems on my own.
***I haven't filled it out yet, and am reminded of this constantly...But yes, it will be done before the end of the summer, I promise.