Rainy Days and Mondays

When Molly and Jack were babies we blamed days that they were cranky and grumpy on colic, teething, poor sleeping patterns or impending developmental milestones.  Now that they're older and better able to express themselves, whether it be through ridiculous demands, whining, bickering or temper tantrums we are better able to face the fact that sometimes people get into bad moods and that bad moods aren't exclusively for adults.

There are certain things that always put Molly and Jack in bad moods.  Jack, like his mom, falls victim to getting Hangry (so hungry he gets angry), and 80% of any behavioural issues can be resolved by handing him some raisins or crackers.  Molly is a bit of a "Sensitive Sally", so anything you say can set her off.  The other morning I called her honey bee instead of Molly, she lost her mind, screaming "I AM MOLLY AND I AM NOT A HONEY BEE."  Additionally, both children, consistently throughout their entire lives, get into terrible moods on rainy or gloomy days.

Here are two of our favourite books to read to Molly and Jack to talk about bad moods and bad days. Cause who doesn't feel better after being read a story and some cuddles?

Grover's Bad Awful Day
From morning to dinner time, Grover has a bad day.  He's late for playgroup, forgets what letter comes after Q and drops his ice cream on the ground.  It's a good thing that his mommy can help him feel better.  Kids who love Sesame Street and old lovable Grover will appreciate knowing that sometimes he has bad days too.

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day!
A friend of ours has always described her bad days as "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days". Obviously this book had a significant impact on her as a child, so when I saw it on a shelf at a local bookstore I had to grab it for Molly & Jack.  Alexander's laundry list of complaints are wonderfully kid focused and so entertaining they'll bring a smile to almost any "Grumpy Gus".  The artwork that corresponds with the story truly captures the essence of little boy grumpy face.  It's as if Jack posed and pouted for this book himself.

For younger kids there is a board book called Happy Hippo, Angry Duck  that talks about different moods including an Angry Duck who's always kinda grumpy.

Apparently, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day! is coming to theatres this October starring Steve Carrell and Jennifer Garner.

What are your favourite cures for a moody day with little ones?  Or for yourself?  I like to bake while listening to British divas (Adele, Amy Winehouse or Lily Allen are personal favourites).

Want Multiple Momstrosity updates on Facebook click here

Smells Like Teen Spirit

When I was four and a half months pregnant an employee of Subway accused me of trying to steal an ice tea from the shop.  In a fog of rage induced hunger*, caused by severe constant morning sickness, peppered with rare moments when I was actually able to eat: I surrendered to my hormones.  I threw my purse over the counter and asked the employee if he wanted to frisk a pregnant lady.  I huffed and I puffed and then I screamed some more.  He refused to acknowledge or search anything, mainly because he thought I was insane.  This was one of the first of many changes that I encountered as I morphed from thirty something pregnant woman into MOM.

Many moons ago I gave birth to my lovely minions.  Almost 21 months to be exact.  I was told that it could take up to two years for some of the changes pregnancy thrust upon my body to go back to "normal".  I don't know if I believe the experts any more because if this is true my body is going to experience something akin to Puberty Part 2 over the next 100ish days.  To any of you hopeful pregnant or post-pregnant folks, I'm sorry, some things haven't gone away, but maybe if we think of it as super powers it won't seem so horrifying.

These two idiots are blissfully unaware that they will become parents in exactly 9 months.
 

Your Hips Expand, But So Does Your Heart
I understand this is a natural way to help you labour your child(ren), however 21 months later only one of my hips has returned to it's semi normal position. The other one, about two and a half inches wider than the other.

You Smell Terrible, But Don't Worry No One Can Get Within Three Feet of You Anyway
Around month six of pregnancy I started to smell more, because it was summer, and I was carrying an extra 35lbs of baby junk in my trunk.  Fast forward two years.  I am running around after two forces of fury who spit up on me, get feces on me and make me sweat - a lot. 

Super Keen Pregnancy Smelling Sense
Remember when you're pregnant and you get that super smelling "Spidey sense"?  Yeah mine never went away, so now I'm very acutely aware that I smell like feces, vomit and sweat.  Thankfully I have an arsenal of defunkifying products in my purse that rival any drug store.


I'll let you know if I become a symmetrical, deodorized version of myself in the coming months, but I'm not holding my breath or my stomach in any more.  And if anyone wants to join me at Subway - the ice tea is on me.



*Also known as hanger (Anger induced by hunger).

Easterggedon

I didn't think that the simple act of eating a slice of Quiche Florentine before heading up North for a funeral visitation would be my loss at a game of Russian Roulette, but it was.  I only ate it to avoid being hangry* in the car ride, which is the number three cause for any fights that Chris and I have.

I bought the pre-assembled grocery store quiche in question for a Wednesday night dinner for a vegetarian friend, but he couldn't make it over and ended up cancelling, so the quiche remained in the fridge.  On Friday we had friends over for brunch, a nine month pregnant woman, her husband and their two year old daughter, but we filled ourselves on other food and the quiche remained untouched.  So, I decided to eat it on Friday afternoon, before our trip up North - BIG MISTAKE.  Chris declined because he had grazed on grapes, cheese and kielbasa all afternoon and he'll only eat quiche if he's forced to.

Source: flickr.com  via: diekatrin on creativecommons.org

When we went to bed Friday night I commented to Chris that I "Didn't feel so good."  By Saturday morning I was throwing up and passing out for hours at a time.  We had to cancel the Easter dinner we were hosting, and then the plans on Sunday for my niece's fourth birthday.  Then on Monday Chris had to work from home so he could make sure that I didn't neglect our children while I prayed to the porcelain gods facing North and South.  Monday night we thought I was getting better, only for me to relapse, likely due to severe dehydration, meaning Chris had to stay home with us again on Tuesday.  Did I mention that both kids are teething and crawling backwards and log rolling everywhere?  I finally called my doctor and Chris made a trip to the drug store to talk to the pharmacist, who suggested that I had Salmonella poisoning - especially since no one else was ill.  Apparently such poisoning can last 4-7 days, which explains why I am still primarily living off of soup broth and toast.

My first trip out of the house in almost a week was to go and see the movie Hunger Games on Wednesday night after my first day home alone with the kids.**  Earlier that day I had taken some Immodium to ensure that I'd be safe for the movie, but have found that like Jurassic Park, "Nature finds a way" and I ended up violently vomiting red Powerade in our kitchen sink while Molly and Jack freeranged on the livingroom floor.  I called Chris mid pantrum*** and announced that I wouldn't make it to the movies while he tried to talk me down, I imagine with the phone about six inches away from his ear to avoid my loud sobs and hysterical crying jags.  I managed to make the movie and even had enough energy to enjoy two hearty servings of ginger ale after the show.

When I logged onto Facebook earlier this week I felt jealous of all of the photos of friends and family and their children in cute new Spring clothes and pretty pastel Easter dresses.  My only pastel was pepto coloured pink or Gatorade green.  My first Easter with the kids was not how I imagined it - at all. I have to say a big thank you to Chris for taking care of everything and everyone this weekend, and rarely complaining.  He was practically perfect, except for Saturday when he decided it was a good idea to eat coleslaw and hard boiled eggs right beside me.  That was really gross.



*Hangry is a term first aptly coined by my friend GE.  Hangry is when you are so hungry it makes you angry, with an uncontrollable, irrational rage that can not be satiated until you are satisfied, like Joe Pesci in that Snickers commercial.
**The irony is not lost on me, or as a friend kindly emailed me: "The ironing is delicious - maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh."
***Panicked Tantrum, I had a lot of these when I was really ill and pregnant.