Tuesday, 14 August 2012

Wonder Woman

There are certain mishaps that you can expect when you throw a party.  A broken glass here, a clogged toilet there, finding a beer bottle 3 days later somewhere completely random, maybe someone drinking too much and throwing up or that visitor who won't take a hint and go home long after all other party guests have.*

In our much younger days Chris and I threw and attended some raging parties.  I can't say that I'm not guilty of drawing on someone in marker after they passed out, negotiating elaborate bargains surrounding the consumption of Sea Monkeys so a male friend would let us put make up on him so he looked like Robert Smith from The Cure or even helping construct a castle out of toilet paper.**

Now that we're no longer in school/our early twenties we don't generally expect the fraternity boy routine to happen at our parties.  We're parents and have one year old children.  We aren't renting, we own this place.  Everyone needs to be semi-responsible.  This means that we don't expect our guests to throw up in our stereo system or give us throwing knives as a house warming gift.  We won't feel bad about calling your drunk butt a cab and sending it home because we're tired and want to go to bed.  What we didn't expect at the minions first birthday party was what I can only assume was drunken debauchery or a very bold move from one of the children guests.

Anyone who has known me since childhood is well aware that I have a slight obsession with Wonder Woman - mainly because she's awesome.  When I was in my early twenties and dirt poor I purchased an overpriced plush Wonder Woman doll.***  This doll now lives in Molly and Jack's nursery and was placed on a toy shelf there for their first birthday party.  Yesterday I discovered that Wonder Woman had been defiled, likely at the party.  I found her laying on the floor beside the diaper genie, her star studded underwear ripped off and the rubber paint that creates her bustier peeled off around her boob area.

Poor Wonder Woman!

This is especially puzzling since 90% of the guests were members of my immediate family (including nieces and nephews) sprinkled with a few select friends who bare the honorary titles of aunt and uncles to Molly and Jack.  Perhaps Wonder Woman drank too much sangria and thought that it was time to rip off her clothes, or maybe she resented that she'd been moved from my office to the nursery and was acting out.  I may never know.

Last night when I showed Chris my defaced Wonder Woman doll he laughed and said he never liked that doll anyway.  I think I have my first suspect and that it's time to bust out the lasso of truth.  Also, I can't find her invisible plane anywhere.

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*Like when Alicia Silverstone's fancy shoes get ruined at that party in Clueless because Brekkin Meyer spills bong water on them. Cher: "Uh. This is so not fixable." Travis: "It's a small price to pay to the party gods!"
**The toilet paper castle happened a little more recently than I'd probably like to admit.
***I think I paid $28 for it, but at the time that was my weekly grocery budget.

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