Tuesday, 7 August 2012

Papa's Got A Brand New Bag

Lady Gaga has been sued by the company that produces Bratz Dolls* because of her unreasonable demands surrounding the Lady Gaga Doll.  Apparently her representatives requested a few tweaks on the doll, having the doll appear "more super model-like" with "more of a cat-eye and sexier poutier lips" and the option of the doll having a removable head that would reveal a bloody stump.  These demands were not well received.  In other slightly related news, I now have a new doll on my Christmas Wish List, but only with the bloody stump option.**

A while back my friend C refused to purchase her God Daughter a Bratz Doll as a birthday present because its loose attitude and tramp clothes made her a little uncomfortable in the example it set out, especially in her role of spiritual adviser.*** This made me think about our children, their toys, gender roles and the types of play we encourage and will likely discourage as parents.

So far, because the minions aren't even one yet, most toys are pretty generic gender neutral: rings, blocks, balls, fabric or plastic books and stuffed animals.  Even still, we were really curious to see what each child would naturally gravitate towards.

Molly loves shoes, especially baby shoes and will crawl around the house with a shoe or slipper in her mouth or hand for hours.  At first, in our own gender biased kind of way, we thought: look our daughter loves shoes already and branded her a mini fashionista. Next Molly developed a strong bond with a miniature bottle of baby powder making it her newest travel companion.  She even took it with her to the dentist office.****  When Molly began carrying around a rubber possessed looking purple fish and miniature rubber lobster we came to the conclusion that Molly likes portable toys that she can bring with her on the go.  I imagine toy cars that would fit into pockets will be a big hit with her as soon as she's old enough to avoid choking on her Hot Wheels.  Our gender biases surrounding her thus far go unfounded.

Jack likes anything annoying and loud.  He loves the door stoppers and will lay on the floor forever making the stopper Sproing!!! loudly.  He used to have a thing for this talking and singing train and Rockin' Robin Truck, but he's over them.  His current toy of choice is the Fisher-Price Learning Purse (a hand-me-down from his cousins).  He plays with it constantly...so it sings, non-stop...

Ready to go out,
I'll bring my purse along,
Get my keys and bracelet sing a little song.
Look into the mirror, put some lipstick on,
Wave and say bye-bye.
I won't be gone too long!

Tag & Purple fish are both sitting inside the Learning Purse, Notice her sloppy smile, It's as if she's been hanging out with the pink elephants from Dumbo. 

I don't know what it is specifically about the learning purse that makes it so infuriating.  Perhaps it's the bad Betty Boop meets Estelle Costanza voice, or the sexist content of the song itself.  But Jack Loves it, so it isn't going anywhere.  Perhaps this is Karma for buying my sister-in-law Tag the Spanish Frog who repeats, "Ola soy Tag!" and INSISTS that you count with him in Spanish and English.  Tag, now a hand-me-down from his cousins, is not surprisingly Jack's second favorite toy.  Give me a bloody head stump any day!  You're making a huge mistake Bratz!

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*If you are unfamiliar with Bratz Dolls they are essentially a skankier, lollypop headed version of a Barbie doll, should Barbie ever choose to turn to prostitution to support her crystal meth addiction.
***I don't actually know if the doll upset her as a spiritual adviser, likely she said something more along the lines of, "That doll is really slutty looking, there's no way I'm buying it for my God Daughter."
****I am aware that babies don't need to go to the dentist.  I took them both with me for my appointment because my dentist and hygenist wanted to see my kids. Okay that's still weird.  I'm not making things better here.

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