Mom...I'm Sorry (Happy Mother's Day)

Each year I reflect on some of the more challenging and humorous moments with the kids.  A snapshot of my experiences as a mother.  I then think about all of the crap I put my mom through and form an apology letter. Some of these are specific to my life, but I am likely guilty of some pretty comparable crimes from when I (or my darling siblings were seven...

Dearest Mom,

I am sorry for...

• waking you up by projectile vomiting all over your bed at 2AM
• breaking my armoir door by stuffing so much of my random crap in it when I'm supposed to be cleaning my room 
• scratching your cornea with the corner of a comic book and leaving you unable to function for two and a half days
• watching the dog eat your laptop charger cord (and doing nothing about it) because I was busy watching TV
• faking sick from school so I don't have to go to an after school activity that you paid a lot of money for me to attend
• pretending I was a superhero, falling down the stairs because I was leaning on the baby gate, and knocking out my tooth, on Christmas
• confessing all of my urgent problems to you (hysterically) an hour and a half after bed time (when dad is out of town and you have a work deadline)
• telling people that I was the one who taught you all about 'the eff word' because I say it so much
• snacking on goldfish crackers in your bed because 'I felt like it'
• telling you about those things that kid did to upset you, two weeks after the fact, when I can do absolutely nothing about it
• borrowing your jewelry and immediately losing it/breaking it
• making you sit through school concerts that are longer than Avengers End Game (even when my performance is less than 10 minutes long) 
• reminding you that it's library/swim/permission form day once we already arrive at school
• waking you up whenever you nap because I need a snack that I am perfectly capable of getting myself

P.S. Still not sorry for the black lipstick I wore as a teenager!

P.P.S I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world!

To see the first ever apology note click here To see the 2017 apology note click hereTo see the 2016 apology note click hereTo see the 2015 apology note click hereTo see the 2014 apology note click hereTo see the 2013 apology note click here

Temple Of The Dog - 12 Ways My Dog Is A Jerk (Just Like My Kids)

It's been almost five months since our puppy entered our lives, and for the most part it's been amazing.  Ted, Farmer Ted, Ted Theodore Logan Esquire, has fit in quite well, and the kids love him (but more on that in another post). He's still a puppy and he gets into mischief.  He has an expressive face that shows you what he's feeling about just about everything.  Chris and I both imagine him (and pretend) he's talking back to us in the voice of Shorsey from Letterkenny on a regular basis. He has quite a smart mouth!

While having a dog is by no means the same as having kids, I am certainly appreciative and marvel at the similar ways that all of the little creatures in my family are complete jerks, whether it's putting us in awkward situations, destroying stuff, or causing general mayhem (another good dog name).

Here Are 12 Ways That My Dog Is A Jerk (Just Like My Kids)

They Can't Wait To Jump On & Wrestle Anyone Holding A Hot Beverage

They Are Uncomfortably Affectionate With Strangers

They Steal My Spot On The Couch Whenever I Get Up

They Have To Pee At The Worst Possible Times

They Can't Stay Off Of Other People's Lawns No Matter How Often They're Reminded

They Love To Stop And Stare While Strangers Have Confrontations (Sometimes They'll Bark Or Ask Really Loud Questions)

They Have No Respect For Mittens, Gloves, & Shoes & Must Destroy Them All

They Try To Steal Food Off Of Your Plate Whenever You're Not Looking

They Are Determined to Bounce Our Living Room Couch Until All Of The Springs Jump Out The Back

They Are Masters Of Pushing All Of The Limits

They Have An Unparalleled Fascination With Their Own Pee & Poop

They Think It's Fun (and Funny) to Lick Your Face

Welcome to our family Ted.  Clearly you fit in and are at ease with this band of trouble-makers.