Things My Kids Say As Shared On Twitter

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are recent Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

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1. M: What's a mime? J: Someone who doesn't talk, pretends to be in a box, and touches you - whether you like it or not. (7 year old definition of a #mime) #parenting #ThingsKidsSay

2. When you puke before taking the kids #BacktoSchool because you discover a surprise old (unidentifiable) camp snack in a backpack #parenting (no tears, just vomit) 3. Me: why are you fighting? J: she keeps touching me with her cucumber M (interrupting): by accident! #summerbreak #parenting

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4. Me: It's raining and I don't have a raincoat (grumble grumble). My daughter: It's raining which means I'm more likely to see a #rainbow today, YES!!! #parenting #perspective



5. J: Mom look, someone threw out a bunch of cotton candy! Me: Those are bags and bags of dirty diapers. J: Ew, that's disappointing. Me: Did you think I'd let you eat random garbage cotton candy? J: It was worth a shot. #parenting

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6. J: Is there a version of Romeo and Juliet, but with #robots who shoot birds? #parenting #ThingsKidsSay

7. M: What are you listening to? Me: #LeonardCohen M: He sounds like he's a ghost who is haunting me through his music. Can you turn it off? Me: No.  And I think he'd of enjoyed the idea of being a ghost haunting you through his music #parenting #musiceducation


8. M: So #pirates are half human and half what? Me: They're 100 percent human. M: You mean they don't have any super powers? Me: Nope. M: Well that's the most disappointing thing I've heard today. #parenting #ThingsKidsSay

To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug & click here, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, & here.

Rude Boy

For the most part the minions are good, polite little pre-schoolers. Most bad habits are picked up from other kids at daycare or mom and dad. Jack says, "Oh my god" in a mocking valley girl voice that was inspired by my reaction to a driver who kept cutting me off.  Thankfully he only repeats it to make fun of me. 

Recently our darling boy picked up something that didn't come from mom or dad. One evening a week or two ago Chris was asking Jack to come downstairs for dinner and he wasn't listening. When Chris came upstairs to remind him that it was dinner time, Jack got angry and screamed "Go away idiot boy!"  Chris was simultaneously livid and concerned. Was Jack saying this to other kids at daycare?  Jack refused to answer where he had learned this.   Had someone else called him idiot boy?  In the days that followed, whenever Jack was angry at Chris he'd angrily call him “idiot boy” and then be sent for a time out (or to jail as Jack likes to call it). One night during bath Jack turned to me with a smile and asked "What's idiot boy doing right now?" It was clear that Jack loved the rise he was getting out of Chris and time outs weren't curing him of this new catch phrase. When I reminded him that he wasn't allowed to call dad (or anyone) Idiot boy he just laughed maniacally to himself.

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On Saturday afternoon while Jack was in ANOTHER time out for calling dad Idiot Boy, I was talking to Molly and asked her if she knew where he learned it. "SpongeBob SquarePants" she said simply. I Googled it and immediately found my answer. “Idiot boy” is what Mr. Crab calls our square yellow friend whenever he gets angry at him. Once Jack was "out of jail", I sat him down and talked to him about SpongeBob and explained to him that if he keeps repeating bad things he learns on a particular show that he won't be allowed to watch it anymore. I am happy to say that it seems that idiot boy has been retired (although much of my family is calling Chris "IB" when Jack isn't within earshot). 

This exercised has reminded me that we need to test and adjust consequences dependent on the offence and the child. I think we may also be retiring timeouts for Jack for a little while since it seems that a world without SpongeBob is apparently far worse than time in the big house.