Parenting has created a rift in the time space continuum. It takes FOREVER to do anything, especially when I'm solo. I have a few meetings downtown this afternoon beginning at 3:30PM and this morning at 9AM I had a mini panic attack about whether or not I had enough time to get everything ready. (Meaning pack a bag for the babies and myself, get all three of us bathed, fed and dressed, a drop off at Nana and Grampa's and then take the subway downtown). Not that hard, right?
Pre-mom Sara could get ready with makeup in under half an hour, mom Sara knows better. On weekends post baby Sara does her makeup in the car while Chris drives. Babies know when you're stressed and in a rush, so they purposely slow you down, like how cats flock to people who are allergic to or don't like cats.*
Last week Chris and I got in an argument in the parking lot of Rona while we changed Molly's diaper mid air between our car and the poor sucker who pulled in right beside us. He had to wait for us to finish before he could open his door. I'd asked Chris to pack the diaper bag and he'd forgotten to do so in the chaos of getting out the door.** Luckily I have gotten into the habit of having a spare diaper into my purse along with an emergency sandwich bag of wipes.***
Time and reality can speed up and slow down in an instant with kids. Getting ready takes 2 hours and it feels like 20 minutes. Screaming colic for 15 minutes feels like 10 hours. Sleeping for 4 hours feels like you just set down your head. Cleaning before company arrives while looking after kids can take 3 days. I can barely remember life before Molly and Jack. Ready, start, time to get ready....See you in 2 to 5 hours.
*Sorry to my dad, my brother and Eva for my 13 year old tabby Pan's constant, ill advised quest to make you love him.
**Sara: "I asked you to pack the diaper bag while I changed Jack."
Chris: "I couldn't hear you over Molly screaming and you usually pack the bag."
Sara: "Just admit that I'm better than you and you forgot."
Chris: "Don't be an ass just help me change this diaper, It's December, she's half naked and outside."
Molly: "EEEE-OOOO maniacal giggle."
Sara: "Man your daughter loves to be naked."
Chris: "It's frightening."
***A month and a half ago we went to a formal dinner without the babies. I opened my clutch to find that I had shoved a soother in "just in case" on my way out the door.