Thursday, 9 May 2013

Private Dancer

At daycare there is this clipboard for the toddler room.  In the morning when you sign your child in you write down what time you dropped them off, what time you plan to pick them up and any important notes on how they slept the night before, how they ate, sunscreen, the ridiculous blanket they won't part with etc.  At the end of the day you can see what your children ate for lunch, how long they napped for*, reminders to bring diapers and highlights of what your child was up to that day like toys they enjoyed playing with or a particular game they liked.

Any parent in the toddler room can see the notes for the other children.  I often use this clip board to creep on any potential illnesses about to descend upon the minions care of an infected classmate.  Yesterday when we picked up the minions there was a very explicit, technical note for us involving one of the minions and a diaper rash:
"Please Bring in diaper cream right away! X has a very sore X (technical name of private part here)!"

My first reaction was pure hilarity, Chris and I picked up a butt load** of Aveeno cream to bring into daycare and I left an equally explicit note about the specific usage of the cream.  This was my not so subtle way of showing the brashness of their messaging by creating an equally pointed message.

When I told a few friends the story about our daycare note I noticed most people were very firmly divided into two camps: 1) That's funny and you should steal or take a photo of that note to put in their baby book and embarrass them when they're older or 2) Wow, that was inappropriate, you may want to say something to them, they could have written "please ask us about X's diaper rash" because that evening they also explained to us in great detail verbally about our child's sore bad touch bathing suit area to make sure we took care of it.  In all fairness it's a pretty sore rash and X needed some extra TLC, so I appreciate their insistence on us taking care of business.

As someone who publicly shares the minutiae of my life with children, you may be thinking: who are you to complain?  You over-share all the time.  Probably true, but as a parent it's my job, my duty to say and do things to alienate and mess up my kids.***  However I have my limits. I wrote about how one of my children ate a diaper wipe last year, but never identified who, because who wants to be known publicly as the kid who ate their own poo?****

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*A good indication of how large of a tantrum they're going to have as you try to strap them into their car seat.
**Bad pun intended, sorry.
***Messaging for a Mother's Day card?
****The minions can thank their father for most of that particular mature level of discretion. 

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