Monday, 2 November 2015

A Very Merry Unbirthday - Parents Issue Notice of Eviction

We’ve all heard the inspirational expressions and credos about how parenting is one of the most challenging, yet rewarding jobs that a person can ever have.  You’re faced with sleepless nights, colic, the terrible twos, 5AM driving shifts to hockey practices and the amazing little fact that we’ve manufactured an extra few years of adolescence through the invention of a marketing category of “Tweens”, because teenagers don’t hate their parents enough, we really needed an extra couple of years of that infamous teenage attitude and eye rolling, don’t we?

On top of the physical, emotional and spiritual toll that parenting takes, there’s also the epic financial suck that we endure in raising our offspring.  Seriously, I never realized how expensive children were until I started pricing daycare facilities.  A few months ago, when it came time to renew our mortgage, my husband and I came to the realization that, if we remained on schedule, our house would be paid off as we sent our twins off to college, one mortgage replaced by another epic expense.  The irony is delicious, isn’t it?

At this point in my life, raising four year olds, I continue to spout positive, semi martyr filled affirmations about how motherhood has made me a better person and improved my life.  I also recognize that I may not feel this way if I was expected to perform these same “duties” 16 years from now.  At present, I am blissfully unaware as to the realities are of having a grown man-cub skulking around the house.

Image courtesy of Pinterest

Would I gift my child “A Very Merry Unbirthday” present, care of a coldly cleverly executed 20th Birthday Notice of Expiration of Child-Rearing Services like Yusa Hasegawa’s parents did?  Maybe – it depends on how I was feeling about the current living situation and my appreciation levels of my student son.  Would I double his newly enforced rental rates when I realized that he used social media to publicly shame his parents because they were sick of his slacker bull$%t?  Likely. 
Apparently the note was all tongue and cheek and mom and dad sent it as a joke, cause who doesn’t love a good birthday roast from their parents about how they’re failing at adulting?

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