Things my Son says as Posted on Twitter

As I reviewed recent things that my kids have said that have been posted on Twitter, they're all Jack! Maybe sometime soon we'll get an all Molly one!

via Wikipedia 

New recumbent exercise bike delivered. J: dad did you buy an X wing fighter? #StarWars

At the dinner table. D: sometimes kids who are bullies grow up to be bullies. One day you may ever grow up and have a boss who is a bully. J: Like horde prime. He made the whole town skiddish. #Shera

Today’s home school hack. J: as long as M doesn’t speak my teacher cant see that I’m not in French. class. So I just run in the room when I hear her talking so I don’t lose participation marks.

Image via Vice

The biggest “believability” issue my husband is currently facing whilst watching Home Alone involves the inflated price of Kevin’s Cheese pizza. Hmmm. #movietwit

via The Canadian Encyclopedia 

The boy has started to refer to the most exciting scene in a movie as “the money shot”. It made for some interesting dinner time conversation tonight.

Today’s lunch J: oh crap there’s a pencil in my soup.

Words of Wisdom - My kids in 140 characters (or less)

Recently I heard my sister-in-law talking about how she might have become a parent sooner than she did had she known how hilarious kids are.   I never understood how both fun and frustrating parenting could be until the minions arrived.  They are funny and complicated little creatures who amaze me everyday.

Of course as parents, We all think our kids are brilliant little comedians and are guilty at one time or another of boring friends and family with tales of our kids.


We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said this summer, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

1. J: I'm not scared of geese. I am scared of their beaks.
2. ur #kids r old enough 2 hold ur hand in a parking lot, but not tall enough to avoid nailing their heads on other cars side view mirrors
3. M: Mommy, I'm hungry Me: I'm mommy M: I'm hungry Me: I'm mommy M: Why are you trying my patience before breakfast? #parenting
4. At the beer store Jack: is this where daddy has his band practice? Me: kinda
5. Babysitter: J dumped a glass of water on his head because he was "living under a waterfall" Me: #facepalm #grin #sigh #parenting
6. M: Mommy why aren't you more excited about jumping in the puddles? #toddlerlife #Perspective #parentinglife
7. Thanks to my husband introducing our 5 year old 2 @henryrollins the ongoing retort 2 any conflict is now "I'll burn your soul" #littlepunk
8. Molly: Look at all the #glitter I got Jack: #glitter is garbage (giggles). No truer words have ever been spoken #parenting
9. Hearing your son scream angrily "It's zed!!!" at his #LeapFrog game #Canadian #litnerd mom proud #parenting #Canadian
10. Me: What do you want to do tomorrow? Jack: Kill mosquitoes and eat cinnamon buns (this actually doesn't sound terrible) #foodie?
11. J: Daddy I found this in your room. (holds up #Durex wrapper) Were you eating candy without me again? #soawkward #parenting
12. J: I'm fighting with dad & running away 2 Mexico Me: U can't move 2 Mexico ur passport is expired J: I'll go to a Mexican restaurant instead
13. Jack (affixes #MonstersInc Sticker to my back in #TrampStamp position): Now you're ready for #datenight with daddy! #parenting
14. You know your kid is a carnivore when this is how she sets her plate #parenting #BBQ #BBQRules
    
15. M: Daddy it's Buffaloing & now I can't watch my show D: Buffering? M: That's what I said! #parenting #technology #firstworldproblems
16. When someone takes a dookie in the wading pool & suddenly it's #preschool meets #BreakingBad cause the lifeguard is in a hazmat suit #summer
    
17. J: I need to call #AdamDriver and talk to him about how we should kill #KyloRen #preschoollife #StarWars
    
    
    To view my last Twitter round-up click here
    

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True Love

There is a lot of debate among nerdist parents (Chris and I both fully embrace our inner and outer nerdiness) surrounding what the ideal age is to expose your children to specific meaningful pop culture experiences.  For example, what is the best age to introduce your children to Star Wars so they'll love it as much as you do?

A couple of weeks ago, while at a merchandise booth at the Canada Day Tragically Hip Concert, a gentleman complimented my friend's The Princess Bride shirt which prompted a very important question between my friend and I: What is the ideal age to have the minions participate in their premiere viewing of The Princess Bride (a movie that is ridiculously important to Chris and I)? Our debate was interrupted by the man at the booth, who responded without knowing the minions age with an adamant "immediately and often".

The next week we decided to take the advice of a stranger and introduce Molly and Jack to a story that involves, "Fencing.  Fighting. Torture. Poison. True Love. Hate.  Revenge.  Giants.  Hunters.  Bad men.  Good men.  Beautifulest Ladies..Pain.  Death.  Brave men.  Cowardly men.  Chases.  Escapes.  Lies.  Truths.  Passion.  Miracles."  Sound Okay?

Three years and eleven months was apparently the PERFECT time to debut this movie to the minions.  Molly was immediately enthralled with Princess Buttercup and has been strongly considering going as her for Halloween (likely a fairly obscure costume for a pre-schooler).  Jack giggles maniacally at many scenes of the movie, especially the dream sequence where Buttercup is booed for having true love in her hands and letting it go.

When we pulled out our copy of the movie we discovered a drinking game that we had created many years ago to play while watching the movie.  This drinking game probably isn't the best activity for family movie night, but I thought I'd share it anyway.

The Princess Bride Drinking Game  
(Play at your own risk - AKA I am not responsible for any binge drinking inspired by this game)

1. Every time Westley says "As you wish" take one drink.
2. Any time the Dread Pirate Roberts is mentioned give one drink to someone else.
3. Whenever Inigo says, "Hello.  My name is Inigo Montoya. you killed my father.  Prepare to die." take one drink.
4. Whenever Vizzini says "Inconceivable." take one drink.
5. Whenever there is a narrative involving the grandfather and his grandson (AKA Columbo and Kevin Arnold) take one drink.
6. Every time Buttercup believes someone's lies (shockingly often) you give one drink to someone else.
7. Whenever anyone implies that Inigo Montoya was a drunk, has been drinking or is drunk, everyone drinks....twice.
8. Any mention of the six fingered man....take one drink.
9. When Fezzik makes a rhyme...take one drink.

This past weekend we watched Back to the Future with the kids for the first time (can you believe that it's the 30 year anniversary?) and I couldn't help but wonder, how many times does someone say "Great Scott!" or how often does Marty look at the fading photograph of his siblings in the movie?  I guess old habits die hard as I was tempted to pen a new drinking game at 11AM on a Saturday.  At least it isn't based on a "kissing" book.  

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