Things My Kids Said (As Shared On Twitter)

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are recent Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month or two, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

1. J: yeah I know that guy. He’s a bully because he called me Marcus. Me: maybe he thought your name was Marcus. J: it’s not and I don’t appreciate being called a Marcus. Plus he said I didn’t have a bucket when I was totally carrying an invisible bucket. So there. #parenting

2. Me: You need to try harder in gym. J: Why? It's not like it's #math #kidlogic (He's totally right) #parenting #smh

via GifyCat

3. J: I have a really good idea for Top Gun 2. Basically it’s a lot of naked volleyball. And the soundtrack will be by Smash Mouth #smh #parenting

4. Every other child in #Toronto - GO #Raptors !!!! My kids: Why is everyone into #dinosaurs all of a sudden? #SMH #sportsfans

via Giphy

5. M: sneezes j: gross! M: the polite thing to say is bless you! J: sorry. Bless you. Ew gross!!! #twins #parenting #smh

6. J: Isn't it weird that #tarantulas & #scorpions are so cute with their little mouths but also so dangerous? Me: Sure? What about them do you find cute? J: Their tiny tiny mouths #perspective #parenting #nature

via Tenor

7. M: so are we going to a fancy restaurant tonight? Me: not really M: well do they have napkins?  Cause that’s fancy #parenting #thingskidssay

8. As J told me about his school talent show & his performance of 'the coconut dance' which involved a lot of drumming and chanting the word #coconut I realized he may become an experimental musician or #NapoleonDynamite & really I'm good with either #parenting #smh

via Film Daily

9. It's hot out, our #airconditioning is broken. Me: What would you like for lunch? M: How about some nice hot chicken noodle soup? #facepalm #smh #parenting

To see the last edition of Things My Kids say....Click here 

Things My Kids Say As Posted On Twitter

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are recent Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month or two, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

via Giphy

1. J: what is The Godfather about? Dad: Don’t worry about it. It’s really good, but violent we can watch it when you’re older. M: But is it as good as Home Alone? #parenting


2. Dad: do you know what a crab apple tree is? J: yeah. I think so.  But does it pinch you?


3. J: ouch I banged my foot! dad: where does it hurt? J: I hurt my thumb toe #parenting #ThingsKidsSay


4. J: It's #ValentineDay so do we get to meet #cupid ? Me: I've never met him.  J: Cause I'm pretty sure I could beat him in a fight.  I mean he's a baby with terrible aim and he still wears a diaper #parenting #ThingsKidsSay

via Pinterest

5. M: who would win in an epic battle between #spiderman and his mortal enemy #OzzyOsbourne? Me: I am pretty sure that those two aren’t enemies but I would buy tickets to that movie #parenting #ThingsKidsSay #comics

6. I just poured some #MapleSyrup on some bowls of freshly fallen #snow and called it Pioneer #icecream & I can't remember the last time my kids were this excited about any food I've prepared for them #parenting


7. The husband is popping bubble wrap. J (angrily): Hey!!! Why are you doing my job! That’s my job!

via Tenor

My Kids In 140 Characters (Or Less)

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

1. J: Mommy ur name rhymes with butt Me: No it doesn't J: Then why do I use it so often when I'm writing songs about you? #parenting

2. J: What would happen if daddy & his boss threw poop at each other?  Me: They'd both get fired? J: Hmmm I thought so #ToddlerLife

Image Courtesy of Giphy

3. When you're sorta proud of your 6 yr old showing his displeasure towards u via #onomatopoeia #parenting

4. J: can you smell my new weapon? It's two fully loaded fart arms. #parenting

5. J: Why won't you let me watch the new Venom movie? Me: You're 6. J: So? Me: You're afraid of noisy hand dryers, you can't handle Venom

6.  Me (wearing eyeliner for the first time in months) M: you look so pretty mommy. You look just like a girl clown #parenting

Image Courtesy of Giphy

7. J: If u don't buy me an Incredible Hulk mini fig I'm going 2 turn into a demon Me: This is you being good? I call ur bluff demon #parenting

8. M: Is your purse a boy or a girl? Me: Neither. M: It needs a name. J: Let's call it Silky
M: Yeah, Silky Dawn #parenting #fashion

9. Cause #SillyPuddy removal from sheets is exactly what I had on the agenda today #parenting 

To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug & click here, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, &here.

Words of Wisdom: My Kids in 140 Characters or Less

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

Image Courtesy of Giphy

1. M: What if I ask Drake to marry me and he just shrugs? #Toronto problems when you're 5 years old #parenting #toddlerlife #thesix

2. J: We can't leave Dollarama until I finish smelling all of the gum #ToddlerLife #parenting


3. M: Look an eagle! Me: That's a seagull M: Isn't it beautiful? I hope it doesn't poop on our car #perspective #ToddlerLife

Image Courtesy of Giphy

4. J: Who's singing on the radio? Me: The Red Hot Chili Peppers J: Can you turn them off? They're too spicy for my ears #ToddlerLife

5. Bedtime story & my son climbs up on my back for what I think is a cuddle & yells FART BOMB at the top of his lungs #ToddlerLife

6. M: don't worry about opening the car door. I'm just going to kick out the window to escape #mydaughter


7. J: The most dangerous thing about #BrainStorming is the lightning & explosions #ToddlerLife #parenting


8. Parenting level expert. jogging 4.2 miles per hour while creating a cheese string spider for your son #joggers #parenting

9. Muse is playing on the radio. M: Why are they singing like ghosts? Are they trying to be scary? I don't get it. #ToddlerLife 10. J: Let's write a song about a scorpion & a lobster who fight. Maybe they die, maybe they become BFFs Let's find out! #ToddlerLife

To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug & click here, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

Words of Wisdom: My Kids in 140 Characters or Less

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

1. M: you know who isn't very good at singing? Chickens! J: yeah they're the worst. Just terrible #ToddlerLife

2. Today I let my son pee in a Tupperware container because there was no other option. He's excited like we just went to #Disney #ToddlerLife

3. It's hard to be angry when your salt & pepper shakers are used for #LEGO #playtime (they are giant ant monsters after all) #parenting

M

4. M: I just realized something that's going to blow your mind: A Jester is like a clown. Me: Yeah. M: Why aren't you more excited about this?

5. J: You know what the worst part about having a lot of money is? Me: What? J: How heavy it would be to carry #ToddlerLogic

6. Adulting is pretending that it's not hilarious when your child does a spot on impression of one of their teachers #parentingfail

7. J: Did you lock all of the doors? Me: Yes.  J: Good, I don't want anyone stealing or messing with my #Lego #ToddlerLife

8. Parenting Hangover: When u feel like u drank a 26er last night, but it was just ur #toddler starfishing in your bed #ToddlerLife

Gif Courtesy of  www.smosh.com

9. M: I broke up with the big bad wolf because he was late all the time Me: That was it? M: Punctuality is important in a partner mom!

10.  J: I have a big problem. My brain is controlling what I'm doing Me: And that's a problem? J: big time. #ToddlerLife

11. Why is it the second I sit down on the toilet a little voice is yelling into the door about having to poo...NOW!!!! #ToddlerLife

12. It's official #LEGO is a bigger pest in my home than #glitter I mean glitter still sucks, but it doesn't stab my foot like #Batman's helmet

To read more blogs on my kids on twitter click here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

Words of Wisdom: My kids in 140 characters or less

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past two months, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

The Naked Princes in all their glory!

1. Me: what do u want to bring to grandma & grandpas? J: hmmmm. How about the naked princes?#toddlelife #TwoPrinces #Disney
2. J: If Rob is a Zombie why is he singing? Zombies can't sing (Apt questions asked during #Halloween decorating) #RobZombie #toddlerlife
3. J: Don't worry mommy, I hardly eat any car food anymore. Me: What's car food? J: Stuff that I find on the floor of the car #toddlerlife
4. That #awkward moment when you laugh at the angry dad shaking his fists at the school bus & then you make eye contact #parenting
5. Who needs #pine car air fresheners when your children leave rotting #apple cores in the backseat of your car? #SmellsLikeAutumn
6. While watching #TheNeverEndingStory M: Why do they keep calling Falcor a dragon when he's clearly a flying dog? #toddlerlife #movietweet
7. J: M's swim teacher is named Dave Me: is it really? M: No J: I've decided when i don't know someone's name I'm just going to call them Dave
8. Me: No you can't sit in that chair because it's in someone's garbage and covered in garbage #parenting #parentingunfiltered #toddlerlife
9. Having mixed feelings telling my daughter it's inappropriate to yell Shut Up at Map #DoraTheExplorer #toddlerlife #parenting
10. (While watching #TheNightmareBeforeChristmas for the first time) M: How come #Sally is the only one who understands what's going on?
11. M: Thanks 4 breakfast milk servant Me: I don't know what that means, but don't call anyone that M in tears: But I said thanks! #toddlerlife
12. J: Bro, you totally forgot my pretzels Me: No I didn't & don't ever call me bro again, I'm your mom J: Chill out bro #toddlerlife
13. Potato leek soup prep time 90 min, time kids spent complaining about leeks, 20 min, time spent sifting out leeks 5 min, silence = golden
14. Today I refereed a tearful & heated argument about whose nose an imaginary spider lives on #parenting #Toddlerlife
15. Proud #parenting moments When ur son asks u 2 play #PrincessBride at dinner but then u drink the milk with the iocane powder, inconceivable
16. M: I need a toy human to play with Me: you mean a doll? M: I guess that will have to do #toddlerlife #kidsarestrange
17. M: J you don't need to watch the movie with me, but can you cover my eyes during the scary parts? J: Sure #TwinLove #multiples #twins
    
18. Evening with M at #baseball game: Why does grandpa keep yelling at the #vampire? #GoJaysGo #toddlerlife #parenting
    
19. Me: We didn't get #laundry done so u need 2 wear a #bathingsuit or your brother's underwear M: grabs suit annoyed,rolls eyes #parentfail
    
    To view my last two Twitter round-ups click here and here

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Words of Wisdom - My kids in 140 characters (or less)

Recently I heard my sister-in-law talking about how she might have become a parent sooner than she did had she known how hilarious kids are.   I never understood how both fun and frustrating parenting could be until the minions arrived.  They are funny and complicated little creatures who amaze me everyday.

Of course as parents, We all think our kids are brilliant little comedians and are guilty at one time or another of boring friends and family with tales of our kids.


We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said this summer, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

1. J: I'm not scared of geese. I am scared of their beaks.
2. ur #kids r old enough 2 hold ur hand in a parking lot, but not tall enough to avoid nailing their heads on other cars side view mirrors
3. M: Mommy, I'm hungry Me: I'm mommy M: I'm hungry Me: I'm mommy M: Why are you trying my patience before breakfast? #parenting
4. At the beer store Jack: is this where daddy has his band practice? Me: kinda
5. Babysitter: J dumped a glass of water on his head because he was "living under a waterfall" Me: #facepalm #grin #sigh #parenting
6. M: Mommy why aren't you more excited about jumping in the puddles? #toddlerlife #Perspective #parentinglife
7. Thanks to my husband introducing our 5 year old 2 @henryrollins the ongoing retort 2 any conflict is now "I'll burn your soul" #littlepunk
8. Molly: Look at all the #glitter I got Jack: #glitter is garbage (giggles). No truer words have ever been spoken #parenting
9. Hearing your son scream angrily "It's zed!!!" at his #LeapFrog game #Canadian #litnerd mom proud #parenting #Canadian
10. Me: What do you want to do tomorrow? Jack: Kill mosquitoes and eat cinnamon buns (this actually doesn't sound terrible) #foodie?
11. J: Daddy I found this in your room. (holds up #Durex wrapper) Were you eating candy without me again? #soawkward #parenting
12. J: I'm fighting with dad & running away 2 Mexico Me: U can't move 2 Mexico ur passport is expired J: I'll go to a Mexican restaurant instead
13. Jack (affixes #MonstersInc Sticker to my back in #TrampStamp position): Now you're ready for #datenight with daddy! #parenting
14. You know your kid is a carnivore when this is how she sets her plate #parenting #BBQ #BBQRules
    
15. M: Daddy it's Buffaloing & now I can't watch my show D: Buffering? M: That's what I said! #parenting #technology #firstworldproblems
16. When someone takes a dookie in the wading pool & suddenly it's #preschool meets #BreakingBad cause the lifeguard is in a hazmat suit #summer
    
17. J: I need to call #AdamDriver and talk to him about how we should kill #KyloRen #preschoollife #StarWars
    
    
    To view my last Twitter round-up click here
    

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