Things My Kids Said As Posted On Twitter

During these times, celebrating the small moments can be especially important. Not everything my kids say or do warrants a blog post.  This is why I like to share this roundup and snippets of recent conversations I've had with M&J as shared on Twitter.  This has been especially interesting given the introduction of homeschooling into our lives.  Enjoy!

via Narcity 

Today in #homeschooling C: okay so how can you tell that this coin is a toonie? J: because it’s the one with the Komodo dragon on it. C: umm. Err. That would be cool but that’s a polar bear #parenting

J: sometimes the cat reminds me of Bill Skarsgård when he plays Pennywise cause sometimes she acts like she wants eat my head

So apparently according to my son, the rest of his family are that coworker who keeps eating his snacks #SelfIsolation #parenting

Working on acrostic writing, continuation from school Me: Let's start with Spring. J: Spring, S is for Spring. Me: You can't use the same word twice, pick something else. J: nods, completes assignment. Me: Now do your name, Jack. J: Jack, J is for Jack #facepalm #homeschooling

J: Mom do you know why puppies are so cute?  It's because they have really big eyes. Just look at them aren't they adorable? #perspective #parenting

via Giphy

It took a full 5 days of #homeschooling before I made someone cry about clock math. I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner #winning #SelfIsolation

Day one of home schooling and self-isolation led to a lengthy debate over whether a #pterodactyl is a #dinosaur or a flying reptile.

Things I’m saying to my son on day 7 of #SelfIsolation ”please do not, under any circumstances, use the bathtub to demonstrate the damage of a tsunami” #parenting

via Tenor

Things My Kids Said As Posted On Twitter

Not everything my kids say or do warrants a blog post.  This is why I like to share this roundup and snippets of recent conversations I've had with M&J as shared on Twitter.  Enjoy!

J: you know hot metal? Me: what’s that? J: like really loud guitars and someone screaming like they’re being burned by something really hot. Like #ACDC -hot metal Me: I think you’ve invented your own music genre.

via Giphy

J: eww this smells like dried grapes. me: you mean raisins? Dried grapes are raisins. J: That’s disgusting. I didn’t know that.

Dad: what’s all over the remote control? M: Caramels (this is why we can’t have nice things) #parenting

via Giphy

J walked into my bedroom this morning with a nerf bow and arrow, shot five darts against the wall, screamed “Happy Valentines Day” and then ran away cackling. If this isn’t the epitome of #parenting I don’t know what is #HappyValentines

via Giphy

J: what’s the name of that cartoon character who is old and can’t see properly?  Mr. Man Goo? Dad: I don’t think that’s anyone’s name. Me: Are you thinking of Mr. Magoo? J: That’s it! #parenting #thingskidssay

J: who’s that drawing of? M: Super Girl. J: why is she wearing pants? Super Girl always shows some skin. Your drawing isn’t accurate. #comics #parenting #sadbuttrue

Things My Kids Said As Posted On Twitter

Not everything my kids say or do warrants a blog post.  This is why I like to share this roundup and snippets of recent conversations I've had with M&J as shared on Twitter.  Enjoy!

J: Today at school we found a cockroach on the playground, he was so cool, but don't worry, I didn't take him home because I thought that might make you mad. (yeah, MIGHT make me mad) #parenting

via Giphy

Trying a new recipe in the slow cooker today. As I loaded the ingredients in this morning M said: What smells like barf?  I obviously have really high hopes for dinner tonight #parenting

J: I am going to act like I'm 20 to try & impress my celebrity crush, cause she's also 20. Me: How are you going to act 20? J: Drive a car. Oh, and act stupid, but pretend I know everything. Me: That's really, very accurate. #parenting

Things I say now that I’m a parent: stop pretending to be Pennywise and freaking out your sister

via Giphy

J: my favourite number is eight because it’s so cute and because it has an adorable head and body #parenting

J: Vive la resistance means fight the power, baby! #parenting

via Giphy

Day 2 back to school post holidays J: I left my pillow on the bathroom floor so I could lay down and rest while I brushed my teeth. #parenting

M: Jack can you cuddle me? It will help me calm down and fall asleep before Santa comes #twins #parenting #ChristmasEve

Things My Kids Say As Posted On Twitter

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are recent Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.



1. Me: Why are you only wearing underwear? J: The #chupacabra stole my clothes #parenting #SMH #ThingsKidsSay

Image Courtesy of Giphy

2. J: I think King Kong grabbed that woman and climbed up the building because he was angry that people weren’t showing him respect. So he thought “this will teach them” #parenting

3. There is a fly in my house thanks to my children and their disdain for shutting the screen door. As I try to work today this has gone from mild annoyance to Walter White levels of rage (Breaking Bad the #freelance writer edition)


4. J: Why don't we ride on rainbows? Me: I don't know how to. J: (slaps down fist on table) Why doesn't this make you as angry as it makes me? #parenting #SMH #ThingsKidsSay

Image Courtesy of Tenor

5. Me: What would you like for lunch? J: A bowl of #Nutella and a spoon Me: I respect that, but it's not happening J: How about you get out some crackers and I'll pretend to eat them too?. (The apple doesn't fall far from the tree) #parenting


6. J: Do you like the Food Fighters? Me: They're okay & they're called the #FooFighters J: Well that's disappointing. Can we have a food fight some time? #smh #ThingsKidsSay #parenting

7. I don't know what's more horrifying - my 6 yr old whistling & pointing for me to sit down while he ate the #gelato I bought him like he owned me OR the 18 yr old cashier who offered a sympathetic, "terrible 2s?" and genuinely meant it #parenting #smh

Image Courtesy of Giphy

8. The ultimate #summerbreak parental conundrum: when your kids are getting along great but speaking primarily in potty talk. Do you break it up or let it slide? #parenting

Image Courtesy of Gifer

9. My son refuses to use his brand new #Frozen toothpaste because "it's too spicy" (battles I never saw coming) #parenting #FacePalm

10. Looking back at Js school work for the year and pleased his teacher didn’t give him a hard time for his word choice on his spelling list #parenting #kids

To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug & click here, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, & here.

Things My Kids Say As Posted on Twitter

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are recent Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

Image Courtesy of Tenor

1. M (listening to the radio when Frank Sinatra comes on): wow this Guy is really good. Like he could even audition to be in #MaryPoppins

2. My son has named my stomach (Mr. Meat).  Mr. Meat spends most of his time burping, threatening people, and complaining that he is bloated.  Am I being roasted by a six year old?  And why do I find it so funny? #parenting #ThingsKidsSay

3. M: when I’m a teenager and get a phone I’m going to use it for Sophie me: what? M: you know. To take pictures with my friends #Sophies #parenting #tech #selfie

Image Courtesy of Giphy

4. J: I've decided I love you more than #Lego but not as much as daddy. Me: Is that supposed to be a compliment? J: I dunno (shrugs and walks away) So I'm totally #winning at #parenting right?

5. Since #bingewatching #MrPeabodyAndSherman on  #Netflix whenever my kids fight their ultimate burn is to call each other Richard Nixon @netflixcan #Learning?

Image Courtesy of Imgur

6. Words I think should be added to the #Dictionary - Famulous (a combination of Fabulous & Famous) as created by my 6 year old son #parenting #ThingsKidsSay Example, "Yeah sure, they're enjoying their 15 minutes of fame, but are they famulous?"

7. Virtual #Starbucks Gift Cards have allowed me to leave things to the absolute last minute and still celebrate M & Js #teachers #LastDayOfSchool #winning

To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug & click here, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, & here.

Things My Kids Say As Posted On Twitter

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are recent Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

Image Courtesy of Pinterest

1. Outside of the change room at #Winners waiting for dad J: what’s taking so long? Is dad standing naked in the change room throwing a tantrum? Me: maybe? I hope not? #parenting #ThingsKidsSay

2. Me (tucks son in to bed, whispers softly): I love you J: (gives me a kiss, whispers softly): I love #Lego! #parenting #unfiltered #smh

Image Courtesy of Giphy

3. M: I love this song. It’s so sad. Who is this? Me: #AmyWinehouse M: how sad is she out of 10? Me: 100 M: wow. She must have cried so many tears #RoadConversations #parenting

4. Yesterday, following a time-out J started writing and handing us notes about what mean #parents we are. On one hand I'm super proud of his new found reading & writing skills, on the other I'm a little hurt, but amused at the same time #SMH #parenting

Image Courtesy of Little Mermaid

5. Me: do you want to watch a nature documentary? M: yes. You sure hope we get to see mermaids in their natural habitat Me: I’m not sure there’s a documentary about mermaids but we’ll see #liar #parenting

Image Courtesy of Buzzfeed

6. Spent an hour yesterday convincing J hiring @VancityReynolds to play #Deadpool at his 7th #birthday is problematic 1) It's inappropriate 2) he's never even seen Deadpool 3) His twin sister isn't interested 4) I'm pretty sure it's outside of our budget #parenting

7. Me: Who was your supply teacher today? J: Homer Simpson. Me: Seriously, what was his name? J: I dunno, but you hate it when I make the mmmm noise so it's either #HomeSimpson or I don't know...so you can pick #parenting

To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug & click here, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, & here.

Things My Kids Say As Shared On Twitter

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are recent Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

Image Courtesy of Giphy

1. J (in a panic): Mom, I don't know how I got this giant cut on my arm. Me (inspecting): That's just ketchup. J (licks arm): Well, that's a relief #parenting #smh #KidLife #unfiltered

2. Dad: Can you get me my cup from the music room? M: You mean the fart room? Dad: I mean the room with all my records and my record player. M: I call it the fart room, cause that's where I go to fart #smh #parenting

3. J: I hope I have this cold forever because I've really been able to focus on my #Venom impression #parenting #smh #FacePalm

4. M: I liked picking up J from his classroom.  I felt just like his mom, you know cause I was holding all of his stuff #parenting #roles #lifegoals

Image Courtesy of Giphy

5. J: Let's take off our shirts, hug each other and pretend to be #Rambo #movietwit #parenting #films #ThingsKidsSay

6. Two polar opposite reactions to a dead goldfish.  M: lots of crying.  J (trying to cheer her up): Maybe he was taken over by Venom and the other fish had to kill him so he wouldn't destroy their world. #parenting #pets #fish

Big Fat Zombie Goldfish is a current Fav book of Jack's Image Courtesy of YouTube

7. M: If mom died dad would have to drive us so many places. Me: Is that all u think I do? I help u with ur homework, pack lunches, organize your activities, gifts 4 friends, appointments Dad: Yeah I'd have to set aside maybe half an hour a day #facepalm #Motherhood #MyLife

8. J: When I grow up, I'm going to live here. I'm going to live here forever. So you better get a third pillow so I can sleep between you and daddy. #parenting (just wait till he's a teen and now I have a record) #smh

9. Somewhere during today's Q&A about the birds and the bees my honesty led both children to assume their father can make random inanimate objects multiply "like when Gremlins get wet" at his whim, whenever he uses his "special seed" #SMH #parenting #facepalm


To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug & click here, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, &here.

Things My Kids Say As Shared on Twitter

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are recent Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

Image courtesy of www,glee.wikia.com

1. J: I'm Gollum and you'll never take away my freshness. A six year old interpretation of #LordOfTheRings #Tolkien

2. J age 6: I wrote a new Pigeon book with Mo Willems.  It's called The Pigeon Gets Shot on the Bus.  It's the final book in the series @The_Pigeon #parenting #ThingsKidsSay #LitTweet #KidsBooks

3. M: I lost another pair of gloves today Me: You know what that means. You're buying a pair using your allowance if you can't find them today. M (crying): But gloves are expensive. If I knew you'd actually made me pay for them I'd be more careful Me: #facepalm #parenting

Image courtesy of MTV

4. J: Mom, so how do I go about giving myself a really cool scar? Me: You don't. J: I had a feeling you'd say that. I'll go ask dad. #parenting #ParentingUnfiltered #ThingsKidsSay

5. J: So a B&*#H is a female dog? And even though that's what it's called, I'm not allowed to call girl dogs that? Me: That's right. J (giggling): So mommy, a female wiener dog would be called a wiener B%*$H right? Me: Yes. J: Don't worry I won't call them that #parenting

Image courtesy of Giphy

6. J (age 6): Mom, when I go 2 #HighSchool can u walk me there every day? Me: I'm pretty sure u won't want that. J: Of course I will. Me: Are U willing 2 record a video of u saying this? J: Why? Me: I just want 2 show it 2 u the summer before u go 2 high school #parenting

7. Me: What did you do after school today? M: My friend and I locked ourselves in the bathroom and played Bloody Mary. Then we drew this picture of her. She's covered in blood because she was murdered. You can have it. Me: No, you keep it. #parenting #shudder

To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug & click here, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, &here.

Things My Kids Say: As Shared On Twitter

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

1. M: How come I'm not allowed to wear my rain boots out for errands but he's allowed to wear a dinosaur costume? Dad: Because his choice entertained me. You're just being lazy. #parenting


2. J: do you outgrow diarrhea when you become an adult? me: sorry buddy that will happen sometimes for the rest of your life J: bummer. He he. Bum. (I think he's over it) #parenting #ParentingUnfiltered

Image Courtesy of www.cbr.com

3. Me: What are you thinking about? J: Whether or not Harvey Dent has burnt nipples. Me: Excuse me? J: When he became #TwoFace Me: Probably at least one because it was one side of his body. J: That might make me angry enough to become a bad guy #Batman #KidLife #Parenting


4. J: so I'm not allowed to watch Deadpool because it's too violent? Me: yes. And there's too much bad language. J: Does Deadpool say butt and gonads and crap and fart and poop? Me: yup all the worst swears. J: yeah that is pretty bad. #parenting

Image Courtesy of Giphy

5. I just accidentally washed my hands using J's bubble mint toothpaste...New year...definitely the same me...  
#NewYearsResolutions


6. When your family Singalong ends with a tantrum because someone sang joker ran away instead of the penguin passed ballet #parenting #HolidaySeason


7. Explain reincarnation to my kids. M: So if I lead a very good life I can come back as a unicorn! Me: In theory. If unicorns were real & a higher soul evolution. M: Of course they are -they have horns Me: So do rhinos. Do you want to become one? M: UNICORNS WHEE!!! #parenting


8. J: A lot of animals were bigger versions of themselves in prehistoric times? Me: Yes, then they evolved into other things to better survive their environment. J: So that means Santa's elves and fairies might have been giant in prehistoric times. #parenting #KidLogic

To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug & click here, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, &here.