Things My Kids Say As Shared On Twitter

My kids say and do a lot of smaller things that never make the blog.  This regular round up is a fun way for me to share some of the smaller moments from my parenting journey.  Enjoy! 

1. Me: They say they want a collage for this project. J: Okay fine.  But remember I don't want anything touching or overlapping. Me: Do you understand what a collage is? J: Yes.  So nothing touching #SMH #SchoolProjects #parenting #crafting

via Bustle

2. Who walks all the way to school before they realize they left their backpack at home despite several reminders? My kid that's who! #parenting

3. Me: you can get dressed up when we go to church to see your cousins perform in the Christmas service. M: like in a costume? I think I’ll wear wings like an angel. Me: no that’s inappropriate. I mean fancy. M: okay but that’s not as much fun #parenting #smh

via Tenor

4. Me: How are you feeling today buddy? J: Much better! And I learned an awesome new word: sharted.  Don't worry, dad told me that I'm not allowed to say it at school #parenting #thingskidssay #SMH

5. When you leave your son unattended to sign holiday cards #smh #parenting

6. When you have to tell your son that #venoming (yes this is a verb in our house) is not appropriate while watching a church pageant #parenting #SMH #SundayFunday #SundayMorning #Marvel

Image Courtesy of Giphy

7. Within the first fifteen minutes of real cold weather we have already lost one pair of gloves and discovered that winter boots no longer fit 'when I wear my cozy socks' #parenting

8. J: I can't wear pyjama shirts with buttons. Me: Why? J: Because they make me furious and that's not what pyjama day is all about. (And today we celebrate the true meaning of um...pyjama day?) #parenting #thingskidssay #smh

via Tenor

Things my Kids Say As Posted on Twitter

  

via Gyfy Cat

1. When your daughter asks you if you’re really Voldemort #winning #parenting #HarryPotter #ThingsKidsSay

2. J (talking to the TV), Sighs: We know who #Shakespeare is, he's that guy who died.  M: Shakespeare wrote the #poem of Gnomeo & Juliet #ThingsKidsSay #parenting

via Inverse

3. J: in the fight between #Godzilla & the giant marshmallow man, Godzilla won, but then he got a sugar disease so he should have shared with Mothra and the other monsters #parenting #thingskidssay

4. J: mom the dog ate your Laptop cord. Me: did you try to stop him? J: no I was busy watching tv  (this is the sound of my head exploding) #parenting

5. M: is Drake famous beyond Toronto? Me: yes. Super famous M: Wow. I bet he is rich too. He must have like $1025 in his bank. Me: at least. #ThingsKidsSay #parenting

via Nerd Fitness Rebellion

6. J: so if you get a computer virus does it throw up all over your keyboard? #computers #kids #ThingsKidsSay #parenting

7. J: Do you think turtles look so grumpy all the time because they're slow?  It would make me grouchy.  I'd much rather be a stingray cause they're always smiling #thingskidssay #parenting

To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug 

Things My Kids Say As Shared on Twitter

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are recent Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

Image Courtesy of Giphy

1. J: you see I can't put the same effort into my drawings at school as I do at home because they're too violent and I don't think the other kids at school could handle it. #parenting

2. Me: what's wrong with your ham J: it's too meat #foodie #parenting #MyKids

3. J: who would win in a fight between predator and Santa?  I mean Santa is supposed to be immortal but I don't think he'd be very good at fighting  #ThingsKidsSay #parenting

Image Courtesy of Reddit

4. M: I had a nightmare that a giant pizza box came to life and tried to eat me. Can I sleep here? Me: let me just move this giant pizza box out of the way. M: mommy you think you're funny but you're not #parenting

5. Talking to our kids about the war of 1812 M: So did that happen when you were a kid? C: That was over 200 years ago. M: So were you alive or not dad? #parenting #facepalm#ThingsKidsSay

6. Trying to explain #CypressHill lyrics to your kids in the car, cause the radio is on and it's #420 #420day #awkward

Image Courtesy of Giphy

7. Tonight's episode of my daughter crying is brought to you by lost tooth swallowed with pizza and apparently the ugly cry is inherited from mom #parenting

To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug & click here, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, & here.

Things My Kids Say As Shared on Twitter

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are recent Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

Image Courtesy of Giphy

1. Papa: let me take you to where I used to work. M: did they fire you? Papa: no I retired. M: mom is retired just a polite way of saying someone got fired? #smh #ThingsKidsSay #parenting #MarchBreak

2. J: Can you squirt some #ketchup in my mouth so I can pretend to be a T-Rex who just ate a bad guy? Me: Sure. (Things that happen when you let your kids watch #JurassicWorld) #parenting

3. M: sometimes when I eat clementines I like to pretend that I'm eating a human heart. And that the heart is on fire #parenting #ThingsKidsSay

4. Dad: do you want me to get you some things you like to colour? j: I'd like to practice my colouring on pictures of the creepy dummy from #goosebumps you know the one that upsets my sister #siblings #twinning

Image Courtesy of Tumblr

5. Spring cleaning your car shows you exactly how disgusting your children are #parenting #AllTheSnacks on the floor


6. J: Are you enjoying your poo cookie? Dad: I'm eating a butter tart J: Whatever you want to call it. It looks disgusting.

7. True love is putting on a damp bathing suit that has been sitting in a plastic bag all day during a #RoadTrip just so you can take your kids for a swim after a long day on the road #parenting #sigh #motherhood 

Image Courtesy of Giphy

8. J: looks at gingerbread cookie "hi my name is Jack and I am going to eat you" #parenting #ThingsKidsSay

To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug & click here, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, &here.

Things My Kids Say As Shared On Twitter

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are recent Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

Image Courtesy of Giphy

1. J (in a panic): Mom, I don't know how I got this giant cut on my arm. Me (inspecting): That's just ketchup. J (licks arm): Well, that's a relief #parenting #smh #KidLife #unfiltered

2. Dad: Can you get me my cup from the music room? M: You mean the fart room? Dad: I mean the room with all my records and my record player. M: I call it the fart room, cause that's where I go to fart #smh #parenting

3. J: I hope I have this cold forever because I've really been able to focus on my #Venom impression #parenting #smh #FacePalm

4. M: I liked picking up J from his classroom.  I felt just like his mom, you know cause I was holding all of his stuff #parenting #roles #lifegoals

Image Courtesy of Giphy

5. J: Let's take off our shirts, hug each other and pretend to be #Rambo #movietwit #parenting #films #ThingsKidsSay

6. Two polar opposite reactions to a dead goldfish.  M: lots of crying.  J (trying to cheer her up): Maybe he was taken over by Venom and the other fish had to kill him so he wouldn't destroy their world. #parenting #pets #fish

Big Fat Zombie Goldfish is a current Fav book of Jack's Image Courtesy of YouTube

7. M: If mom died dad would have to drive us so many places. Me: Is that all u think I do? I help u with ur homework, pack lunches, organize your activities, gifts 4 friends, appointments Dad: Yeah I'd have to set aside maybe half an hour a day #facepalm #Motherhood #MyLife

8. J: When I grow up, I'm going to live here. I'm going to live here forever. So you better get a third pillow so I can sleep between you and daddy. #parenting (just wait till he's a teen and now I have a record) #smh

9. Somewhere during today's Q&A about the birds and the bees my honesty led both children to assume their father can make random inanimate objects multiply "like when Gremlins get wet" at his whim, whenever he uses his "special seed" #SMH #parenting #facepalm


To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug & click here, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, &here.

Things My Kids Say As Shared on Twitter

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are recent Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

Image courtesy of www,glee.wikia.com

1. J: I'm Gollum and you'll never take away my freshness. A six year old interpretation of #LordOfTheRings #Tolkien

2. J age 6: I wrote a new Pigeon book with Mo Willems.  It's called The Pigeon Gets Shot on the Bus.  It's the final book in the series @The_Pigeon #parenting #ThingsKidsSay #LitTweet #KidsBooks

3. M: I lost another pair of gloves today Me: You know what that means. You're buying a pair using your allowance if you can't find them today. M (crying): But gloves are expensive. If I knew you'd actually made me pay for them I'd be more careful Me: #facepalm #parenting

Image courtesy of MTV

4. J: Mom, so how do I go about giving myself a really cool scar? Me: You don't. J: I had a feeling you'd say that. I'll go ask dad. #parenting #ParentingUnfiltered #ThingsKidsSay

5. J: So a B&*#H is a female dog? And even though that's what it's called, I'm not allowed to call girl dogs that? Me: That's right. J (giggling): So mommy, a female wiener dog would be called a wiener B%*$H right? Me: Yes. J: Don't worry I won't call them that #parenting

Image courtesy of Giphy

6. J (age 6): Mom, when I go 2 #HighSchool can u walk me there every day? Me: I'm pretty sure u won't want that. J: Of course I will. Me: Are U willing 2 record a video of u saying this? J: Why? Me: I just want 2 show it 2 u the summer before u go 2 high school #parenting

7. Me: What did you do after school today? M: My friend and I locked ourselves in the bathroom and played Bloody Mary. Then we drew this picture of her. She's covered in blood because she was murdered. You can have it. Me: No, you keep it. #parenting #shudder

To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug & click here, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, &here.

Things My Kids Say: As Shared On Twitter

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

1. M: How come I'm not allowed to wear my rain boots out for errands but he's allowed to wear a dinosaur costume? Dad: Because his choice entertained me. You're just being lazy. #parenting


2. J: do you outgrow diarrhea when you become an adult? me: sorry buddy that will happen sometimes for the rest of your life J: bummer. He he. Bum. (I think he's over it) #parenting #ParentingUnfiltered

Image Courtesy of www.cbr.com

3. Me: What are you thinking about? J: Whether or not Harvey Dent has burnt nipples. Me: Excuse me? J: When he became #TwoFace Me: Probably at least one because it was one side of his body. J: That might make me angry enough to become a bad guy #Batman #KidLife #Parenting


4. J: so I'm not allowed to watch Deadpool because it's too violent? Me: yes. And there's too much bad language. J: Does Deadpool say butt and gonads and crap and fart and poop? Me: yup all the worst swears. J: yeah that is pretty bad. #parenting

Image Courtesy of Giphy

5. I just accidentally washed my hands using J's bubble mint toothpaste...New year...definitely the same me...  
#NewYearsResolutions


6. When your family Singalong ends with a tantrum because someone sang joker ran away instead of the penguin passed ballet #parenting #HolidaySeason


7. Explain reincarnation to my kids. M: So if I lead a very good life I can come back as a unicorn! Me: In theory. If unicorns were real & a higher soul evolution. M: Of course they are -they have horns Me: So do rhinos. Do you want to become one? M: UNICORNS WHEE!!! #parenting


8. J: A lot of animals were bigger versions of themselves in prehistoric times? Me: Yes, then they evolved into other things to better survive their environment. J: So that means Santa's elves and fairies might have been giant in prehistoric times. #parenting #KidLogic

To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug & click here, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, &here.

My Kids in 140 Characters (or less) - now upgraded to 280 characters strong

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

1. No genetic testing. She's mine #parenting #NapLife

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2. Just finished watching #Annie J: Did you know that Venom wrote all of the songs? Dad: Wow, Venom is talented! #parenting


3. Coldest day so far Me at school pick up: Where's your coat? M: I lost it at lunch but I'm wearing a sweater (SMILES) #facepalm


4. M: I had a bad day today. I found out the wedding I attended at recess wasn't real OR legally binding #parenting #ThingsKidsSay

5. What happens when you tell your mini me to play outside. He brings a book.

6. Watching #Grease for the first time with the kids. J: is this the part of the movie where Sandy touches a statue and turns into the ghost?#BestSequelEver

7. Parenting Fail of the day: Giving your child access to their own alarm clock before they can properly tell time and understand why it's not a good idea to set an alarm for random times just because they felt like it.

8. Me: I think I'm going to have a long relaxing shower. At least one of my children: I am going to bust into the bathroom, talk to mom, and take the stinkiest poop imaginable while mom "keeps me company" #parenting #facepalm


9. The girl child figured out how to unpause the judgey #Netflix warning. There is going to be so much #TeenTitansGo binge watching happening in our house #parenting

To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug & click here, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, &here.