My Kids In 140 Characters (Or Less)

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

Image Courtesy of Tenor

1. M: A is for Apple. J: A is for ass, like they said in #SchoolOfRock so you can't get mad mommy #facepalm #parenting

2. Brother: Did u tell ur friend ur half demon? M: That's just pretend Bro: Exactly what a demon would say u foul demon #parenting

3. M: You need to stop singing that song Mommy! Me: Why? M: You sound like a Disney prince & I just can't handle it. #Parenting

4. Arguing with your child about how peeing your pants while in the bathroom is not "making it in time" #facepalm #parenting

Image Courtesy of  www.ifc.com

5. What happens when they finally end up in the same swimming class? insistence on holding hands each time they jump in the pool #TwinLife


6. J: Is #pluto sad that it used to be a planet and then they changed their minds? I know I'd feel sad if I was Pluto #science #parenting


7. Me: brush ur teeth J: I curse u. U will have bad luck, be poked constantly & catch on fire. Me: Slight over-reaction? J: shrugs #parenting



8. Dear #autocorrect I have 2 kids in grade 1. I regretfully assure u I am typing lice (not love or live) but appreciate ur optimism

9. J: U know how I know I'm part #puppy? Me: How? J: Cause I like to lick ice cream off the floor #facepalm #parenting #ToddlerLife

To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug & click here, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, &here.

My Kids In 140 Characters (Or Less)

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

1. J: Mommy ur name rhymes with butt Me: No it doesn't J: Then why do I use it so often when I'm writing songs about you? #parenting

2. J: What would happen if daddy & his boss threw poop at each other?  Me: They'd both get fired? J: Hmmm I thought so #ToddlerLife

Image Courtesy of Giphy

3. When you're sorta proud of your 6 yr old showing his displeasure towards u via #onomatopoeia #parenting

4. J: can you smell my new weapon? It's two fully loaded fart arms. #parenting

5. J: Why won't you let me watch the new Venom movie? Me: You're 6. J: So? Me: You're afraid of noisy hand dryers, you can't handle Venom

6.  Me (wearing eyeliner for the first time in months) M: you look so pretty mommy. You look just like a girl clown #parenting

Image Courtesy of Giphy

7. J: If u don't buy me an Incredible Hulk mini fig I'm going 2 turn into a demon Me: This is you being good? I call ur bluff demon #parenting

8. M: Is your purse a boy or a girl? Me: Neither. M: It needs a name. J: Let's call it Silky
M: Yeah, Silky Dawn #parenting #fashion

9. Cause #SillyPuddy removal from sheets is exactly what I had on the agenda today #parenting 

To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug & click here, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, &here.

My Kids in 140 Characters (Or Less)

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh. Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't. One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

1. J: Why did Magneto kill his son? Me: Cause he didn't clean up his #Lego, even after he was reminded 3 times #ParentingDoneRight
2. J: The doughnut kicked the jelly out of his home. Where's he going to live mommy, where? #ToddlerLife #parenting

   

   Mr. Donut Image Courtesy of Tumblr

   
   
3. M: Do you think if you ate a #mermaid she would taste mostly like fish and only a little like human? #parenting Future #foodie?
4. Ur proud of the unstructured play u give ur kids. Until they start talking about digging up the pets buried in ur yard #FreeRange
5. J: my heart is happy but my brain is nervous. #ToddlerLife #parenting #inspiration
6. M: I need to go to the splash pad because I'm melting, I'm melting (becomes puddle) The penchant for drama is strong with this one
7. Fashion forward #parenting moment: when your son wants to wear a bike helmet to camp because it matches his shoes (we walked there)

   

   Image Courtesy of Giphy

   
   
8. M: There's this type of wrestling called tuna #wrestling...Me: You mean #Sumo? M: Let's check both out & see which we like better
9. If u told me 10 years ago I'd be running around a playground yelling about being Dr. Octopus I wouldn't have believed it #parenting
10. M: I have some news about plums I still don't like how they taste but I enjoy when they look like little purple butts #ToddlerLife

To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug & click here, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, &here.

My Kids in 140 Characters (or Less)

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh. Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't. One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

Image Courtesy of College Humor

1. J: My taco is 2 spicy..I'm going 2 need u 2 blow into my mouth 2 cool it down (opens up taco filled mouth) #parenting #ToddlerLife
   
   
2. M: I have an important question to ask you (dramatic pause). How do mermaids brush their teeth? #ToddlerLife #ThingsKidsSay
   
   
3. M: Mom were u alive at the same time as #dinosaurs? Me: How old do you think I am? M: Like 30-something? #parenting #toddlerlife
   
   
4. Me: Dad can you put your cell phone away? J: Daddy Magneto is so disappointed in you right now #ToddlerLife #parenting
   
   
   
5. M: I'm never going to be silly ever again! 5 minutes later: Mommy help! I got by bum stuck in a bucket of #Lego #ToddlerLife
   
   
6. Me: Why r u putting ketchup on a soda cracker? J: U won't let me eat it right out of the packet Me: touché #toddlerlife #parenting
   
   
   

   

   Image Courtesy of Tenor

   
   
   
7. My twins at park: both sit on one end of different see-saws & then complain no one will see-saw with them #TwinLife #ToddlerLife
   
   
8. M: Mommy did you know that your boobs look like a giant bum on your chest? Me: Thanks? #toddlerlife #parenting #unfiltered
   
   
9. J: Mommy can you turn off the radio? I am so sick of hearing about #DonaldTrump #ToddlerLife #politics #parenting
   
   
10. M: I sure hope dad doesn't forget to wear pants to work today. #ToddlerLife #parenting

To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug & click here, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, &here.

Words of Wisdom: My Kids In 140 Characters Or Less

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

Image Courtesy of: www.fanfest.com

1. J: There's a problem at the superhero BBQ Me: What is it? J: Hulk keeps burning his tongue on sausages cause he isn't practicing patience

2. J: The potty talk at dinner isn't our fault M: Yeah daddy hypnotized us to make us talk like this #ToddlerLife #parenting

3. Even a #humblebrag about ur kids getting along via text message will result in an epic battle where everyone is crying #parenting

4. J: I need an ice pack dad: why? J: I hurt my arm. dad: how? J: It's covered in apple sauce. dad: so it needs ice? J: YES! #ToddlerLife


5. M: You mean I can't do jumping jacks in the car? Me: Do I really need to explain just how dangerous this is? #ToddlerLife


6. J: I wish that daddy was a cheese string. But don't worry I won't eat you, I'm not hungry right now. #toddlerlife #parenting

Image Courtesy of YouTube

7. Watching #HoneyIShrunkTheKids this weekend has led my son to an obsession of getting revenge on "All of the Scorpions" #ToddlerLife


8. It's probably a good idea to turn off #Buffy when your daughter wakes up with a nightmare #adulting


9. When u check on ur child before bed & find him fast asleep with his hand in a bag of contraband popcorn (No DNA test needed, he's mine) 10. M: can we get a new pet? J: can it be an invisible corn snake that solves mysteries and fights crime? Me: sure? #ToddlerLife



To read more blogs on my kids on twitter click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

Words of Wisdom: My Kids in 140 Characters or Less

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

1. M: you know who isn't very good at singing? Chickens! J: yeah they're the worst. Just terrible #ToddlerLife

2. Today I let my son pee in a Tupperware container because there was no other option. He's excited like we just went to #Disney #ToddlerLife

3. It's hard to be angry when your salt & pepper shakers are used for #LEGO #playtime (they are giant ant monsters after all) #parenting

M

4. M: I just realized something that's going to blow your mind: A Jester is like a clown. Me: Yeah. M: Why aren't you more excited about this?

5. J: You know what the worst part about having a lot of money is? Me: What? J: How heavy it would be to carry #ToddlerLogic

6. Adulting is pretending that it's not hilarious when your child does a spot on impression of one of their teachers #parentingfail

7. J: Did you lock all of the doors? Me: Yes.  J: Good, I don't want anyone stealing or messing with my #Lego #ToddlerLife

8. Parenting Hangover: When u feel like u drank a 26er last night, but it was just ur #toddler starfishing in your bed #ToddlerLife

Gif Courtesy of  www.smosh.com

9. M: I broke up with the big bad wolf because he was late all the time Me: That was it? M: Punctuality is important in a partner mom!

10.  J: I have a big problem. My brain is controlling what I'm doing Me: And that's a problem? J: big time. #ToddlerLife

11. Why is it the second I sit down on the toilet a little voice is yelling into the door about having to poo...NOW!!!! #ToddlerLife

12. It's official #LEGO is a bigger pest in my home than #glitter I mean glitter still sucks, but it doesn't stab my foot like #Batman's helmet

To read more blogs on my kids on twitter click here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

Words of Wisdom: My Kids in 140 Characters or Less

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh. Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't. One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

1. J: I work for #DarthVader now Me: What do you do for him? J: Some #evil stuff, but mostly I just hold his #LEGO #parenting #ToddlerLife

Jack meets Darth at a Marlies Game...It was emotional & he didn't want to get too close, you know cause of the mind strangling and such.

2. M: That sign says to walk like turtles Me: It says that cars need to go slow. M: That's confusing, can we still pretend to be turtles?

3. Evil #parenting moment...when u can't help but smile because ur child finally steps on the #LEGO he's left on the ground & finally gets it

4. J: Mommy what do Daddy short legs spiders look like? #Science #nature #parenting

5. J: I'm #Gargamel & I'm casting a spell on u. Ur a #vegetarian Me: That's the best you've got? J: Just wait it will get to you #ToddlerLife

6. At the playground me: can you please take it down a notch? J: where else am I supposed to use my outdoor voice? #ToddlerLife

7. Watching #SailorMoon w/ sitter J: Beryl gets disappointed with people. Sitter: Why? J: Because she fails, No one likes it when people fail.

Image courtesy of wikipedia

8. Hairdresser: What do you want your cut to look like? Both Children: Pull out #photos of #cartoon heroes from #teentitansgo #ToddlerLife

To read more blogs on my kids on twitter click here, here, here, here, here, and here.

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