I don't think I've ever been as excited to purchase a package of tampons as I was this weekend. The cashier might have looked at me strangely had I said how I felt, "Guess what, I'm not pregnant despite your best efforts to turn the women in Canada into Offred from The Handmaid's Tale." I imagine my specific Canadiana Margaret Atwood reference might be lost on the 15 year old cashier, but none-the-less I'd feel better about my proclamation that I'm onto them and their conspiracy.
Images courtesy of Wikipedia
Next we wrestled the minions in the pew at the baptism before they could go down to the church's infant room. I now know why gym class teaches wrestling: it's to help prepare you for dealing with toddlers. "No Jack, that hymn book is not a weapon"*
This morning I was so tired I nearly put Bath and Body Works Vanilla scented hand soap in my hair instead of straightening serum, again. This week will be better, right?**
Want Multiple Momstrosity updates on Facebook click here?
*And that's when you implement the sleeper hold.
**Until the recall of condoms comes out next month.