Tuesday, 9 April 2013

Scary Monsters

Last night I received a bone chilling text message.  It may as well have been delivered by a clown on a tricycle or at the very least orated by Ghost Face through a telephone using a voice manipulator.  It read:

Check your birth control.  Alysena lot LFO1899a was recalled and doesn't work

In a recall notice distributed by Health Canada, Apotex Inc. said said its 28-day blister packs should include 21 active birth-control pills plus seven placebo tablets that contain no drug.
Image Courtesy of: Toronto Star Article

I asked if it was a late April Fool's joke.  It wasn't.  I was out at an appointment and wouldn't be able to get home for almost an hour.  I have an active imagination, so my mind immediately went to life with two sets of twins under two and a half, picturing something akin to the old woman who lived in a shoe (34 in human years) 105 in hours spent awake age.  We would no longer have one on one parenting, we would have to work in zones.  Is this what I got for opting for the store brand, less expensive cousin to Alesse, just because my insurance wouldn't cover the extra cost? 

I rushed home and found that I was batch 1901a.  My friend who sent me the text was one batch off.  We'd dodged a pill shaped bullet.  As I separated two fighting toddlers in the bath tub I sighed happily.  We are not ready to make the leap from brood to infant army.

I hope that I would notice an extra line of placebo pills in my package, but I have been pretty tired lately and the company just re branded the pills to new colours so who knows.  Perhaps it's time to explore some other birth control options like an IUD or maybe even a chastity belt.

Want Multiple Momstrosity updates on Facebook click here?


  1. More cute minions would be awesome! But I understand not being ready right.this.minute.

    Mirena worked great for me for 4 years, but our current insurance won't cover it, and it's pricey.

  2. I loved my IUD ( Mirena ) but took it out because I was having issues, and when it's supposed to last up to 6 months after so you can get back on your cycle and onto something new, it didn't and 2 weeks after it was out, I was pregnant with Jack! hahaha.

    It is a little pricey up front, but if you consider you're only paying once every 5 years, it's not too bad.

  3. I had my third (and last) baby in October. When the midwife came for our final visit she asked what form of birth control we would be using. I quickly replied, "Abstinence" and my poor husband nearly choked on his beer. But in all seriousness, let's not be taking any chances here, buddy.

    He scheduled his vasectomy shortly thereafter.

  4. The mother of the very first twins I ever babysat conceived them with an IUD in place!

  5. They're recalling another 11 lots... watch out ;)

  6. I had my identical twin girls in August 2007. I also have a 7 year old son. My husband decided that after having a singleton the first time and twins the second time round, it wasn't worth the risk of triplets the third time, so he had his vasectomy on Bonfire Night 2007. No fireworks for us that night!