Things My Kids Say As Shared on Twitter

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are recent Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

Image courtesy of www,glee.wikia.com

1. J: I'm Gollum and you'll never take away my freshness. A six year old interpretation of #LordOfTheRings #Tolkien

2. J age 6: I wrote a new Pigeon book with Mo Willems.  It's called The Pigeon Gets Shot on the Bus.  It's the final book in the series @The_Pigeon #parenting #ThingsKidsSay #LitTweet #KidsBooks

3. M: I lost another pair of gloves today Me: You know what that means. You're buying a pair using your allowance if you can't find them today. M (crying): But gloves are expensive. If I knew you'd actually made me pay for them I'd be more careful Me: #facepalm #parenting

Image courtesy of MTV

4. J: Mom, so how do I go about giving myself a really cool scar? Me: You don't. J: I had a feeling you'd say that. I'll go ask dad. #parenting #ParentingUnfiltered #ThingsKidsSay

5. J: So a B&*#H is a female dog? And even though that's what it's called, I'm not allowed to call girl dogs that? Me: That's right. J (giggling): So mommy, a female wiener dog would be called a wiener B%*$H right? Me: Yes. J: Don't worry I won't call them that #parenting

Image courtesy of Giphy

6. J (age 6): Mom, when I go 2 #HighSchool can u walk me there every day? Me: I'm pretty sure u won't want that. J: Of course I will. Me: Are U willing 2 record a video of u saying this? J: Why? Me: I just want 2 show it 2 u the summer before u go 2 high school #parenting

7. Me: What did you do after school today? M: My friend and I locked ourselves in the bathroom and played Bloody Mary. Then we drew this picture of her. She's covered in blood because she was murdered. You can have it. Me: No, you keep it. #parenting #shudder

To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug & click here, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, &here.